All Comments on 'The Business Lady Ch. 01'

SPELLCHECKER!

What a load of rubbish!

An editor might make your story more involed and would/should get rid of those errors. It seemed a little to pat that both men were fucking her and accepted each other being there. To top it all of you made her married, so the anti-cockholders have something to complain about. Keep writing.

You need to find another hobby.

don't take the criticisms expressed here too much to heart. You're a young writer and need encouragement and you'll find useful pointers in some of the criticisms below. I want to read what young writers have to say about sex - try to inject what the participants feel and think to flesh out your writing - good writers show the talk after the sex is better than their expert description of the actual sex. EgmontGrigor

They are some of my favorite. Your's is quite a hot little scenario. I'd be happy to read more.