All Comments on 'The Damp, Gray Gone Ch. 01'

Great start on what I believe will be another winner. As noted in a comment posted on another submiter's story: People get blindsided every day by partners who suddenly and without adequate explanation decide that a change in martial status is needed. Your character is a West Point graduate and combat veteran who apparently is content to flush the marriage without a proper reconeering of the field of battle. Who is this "helpfull friend" of his wife? Is there something more in his purpose to divide and conquer his marriage? I'm sure that your give us these answers and more in the next exciting chapter.

Cant wait to see where everyone goes from here. it wont all be Roses but it should be interesting.

The story kept me going and I cant wait for the next Chapter.

I would still like to see her and her Guy 'friend' at least Embarassed.

for making me wait. In the meantime thanks for the story. You are really becoming one of the best writers here as of late.

been there and done that as they say. 16 years (the last 3 or 4 the "nothing" answer) but the result was similar at this point.. Oh well, that was that was 26 years ago so it's old history, but I was never able to trust again.

Reconile At All Costs is coming. It will take two more chapters, a divorce and maybe several years a part from each other, but that is the most likely ending.

You had just about everybody trying to talk him out of the divorce. You have the husband doubting every action that he has taken and you have included several other items that usually foretell of a RAAC ending.

I am sorry, but too many writers have set up their stories in this manner and it almost always ends in RAAC. Maybe your ending will be different. I hope that it is, but it probably will not be.

Keep writing. I have enjoyed most of your stories.

I'm not at all sure that your male lead did the right thing, but you made me live his pain and I doubt that I could have done it better. In fact when it happened to me I know I didn't do as well, but the end result was the same. Painful to think back on it now, even though it is almost thirty years in the past.

You are an excellent writer, but others have told you that before. Somehow I hope they end up back together, but that is very premature at this stage of your story. It will be interesting to see how I feel after chapter two.

There is nothing that I can add to the myriad of voices that sing the praise of the writing here, they are right it's wonderful. I just wanted to thank you for sharing it with us. Looking forward to reading where you go with it.

1. Get a proof reader. Too many spelling (typos) errors. A few punctuation errors that in one case made me unsure what you were trying to say.

2. I did not find this slow as you predicted. I found a depressing sense of inebitabiliity like river running to the waterfall and your sad couple in separate barrels. This is good writing.

3. The narrating voice was consistent and the tone of frustrated surprise turning into confusion and even, I think, depression - was handled with an artistry that many of us only dream of.

4. OK > we had his side and hints of hers, but I have to guess that you will at least at some point reveal more about her. YOu have built a very clear plot line so far. Dangerously predictable. Maybe. But divorce does have for legal reason obvious steps. What you did well was share the raw emotion of those steps for all the characters. I would like to maybe know more how Kyle is doing from him even. But the focus does have to turn to her and whoever her lover is: uh-oh. No. You wouldn't? Not that? She said she was not having an affair with a man. Well, I guess I will just have wait.

Thanks for the effort you have put in.

Simple49er

I thought it moved a little too quickly and needs more fleshing out, but considering the overall length you mentioned I suppose it was a necessary sacrifice.

One small nit to pick: I think your characterizations of the battles of Thermopalae and Gettysburg were a bit misleading.

Don't care if the reconcile or not. You have drawn some very interesting characters and laid out a fascinating story. I am looking forward to how all of this is going to turn out.

This is a well written story up to this point. Hopefully we'll all find out why she can't just tell her husband the truth and be done with it. Looking forward to the next chapters.

Tim C.

Enjoyed it, and there is still a lot of room for all the characters to fill out. Very happy to read that it is a long story. With the end of the "When we were Married" series by DQS posted, another Rhenquist story is needed.

keep it up, you got me hooked again

R,

Why? Incredible, painful writing.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

Obviously in her official capacity, should have been followed up on, a weakness in the story.

I'm REALLY curious to know who the heck that "other guy" is. (Maybe I read too many LW stories, but could he sic a private investigator on Whitney? Then again, he's already divorcing her, not much point to it...)

And I wanna know what in blazes Whitney is thinking. No, nevermind, she wants to eat her cake and have it too. A household where everything is taken care of without any of her help, with the stability and security of a family, AND an exciting lover on the side.

Whitney not saying ANYTHING at all about her lover (probably lying about it as well), not saying what she wants, and simply not revealing ANYTHING, has me incredibly aggravated. I know how Luke feels. He's completely kept in the dark...

Dangit Rehnquist! Chapter 2 please! @____@

Super story!!

On why he filed for the divorce. I was thinking he was moving awfully fast when she still seemed to be ambivalent.<P>

The lunch with the psychologist was a wonderful plot device. "She cheated on you already. It was guilt that made her admit it. She will/has tried to seduce you." His unwillingness to cede control of his life back to her makes perfect sense. And he is, of course, right. Nothing was resolved. She refuses to talk about it, to go to counselling. The underlying issues are still there. Only a matter of time until she does this again. The second time is easier.<P>

My guess is that "the other guy" was not willing to move the relationship to a permament basis. Luke jumped her time line when he confronted her. When Whitney told her 'lover' that Luke knew about them he probably told her that. My take is that women, especially later in their lives, are not prone to trashing a stable life to be on their own. Hence her desire to 'make it all go away' and stop the divorce.<P>

That said she is probably screwing him now. Thus she is not available to see Kyle on Wednesday or the weekend.<P>

Thanks for sharing.

This has the potential to be a classic! It really doesn't matter which way the story goes, the characters, without much over-the-top drama, have been well defined and situations ring true. Can't wait to read more.

Yay! Another good story. And, crap! I gotta wait for the rest of it.

As for getting editors and proof readers, I see a lot of readers calling for this, but most authors that talk on the subject repeat variations on the theme that those creatures are not nearly as plentiful in the free flavors as some folks seem to think. So, unless you are volunteering services, zip it.

The Chief Justice keeps it tight. It does not meander all over the place. He has come up with a very good plot line and he is persuing it. His writing is excellent. I did wonder about the wrist on the watch...was that a joke or a typo? He has promised a timely delivery to this very well written story. The plot, where the husband finds out the wife is cheating after she has stopped, is not new, but the Judge has given us a new slant on it. As a reader, it is a pleasure to see this talent and to have it shared with us all. As a writer, this judgemental bastard has raised the bar so high it is unattainable for most of us. Maybe this is what they mean when they talk about a bar exam? This guy is good.

Don't sell yourself too short. You write some pretty good stuff as well.

You have a great talent at putting words together to construct a nice tight story. Good character development on Luke. If I had a criticism, and I don't, it would tend towards having more insight into her character, but you are probably saving that for later in the series. Can't wait until tomorrow and the next day. Good work

Wow. This was gripping- right until the divorce. It slowed down some there. I would have expected a little more exploration of their feelings during that time -especially the guilt on her side. The Punic war stuff was interesting, but longish. All in all, this is one of my favorites.

You don't know if you can get over the "bar" if you don't jump! So, please jump back in!

tom anon

I think it's a real talent to be able to grab your reader's attention so quickly. I am no expert, but you are one of a very few people who can do it consistently. You mentioned that you felt you were very wordy in this one, I didn't think so. In fact, there were a few spots where I thought the plot progressed a bit too quickly.

You have also come to the understanding that these chapters need to be read within a few days of each other. I know that you read and comment on DQS1's work. His work is near perfect, I think, but much of the story, the little details, are lost when chapters are months apart.

To me anyway, you and DQS1 are the masters in the LW genre. There are others, consistently very, very good, but you two have really raised the bar to a very high level.

Finally, thank you for completing the work and submitting on consecutive days. Maybe most authors would want their egos stroked over a longer period of time. Thanks for understanding the reader.

After having read page one, I went out for an hour long walk, and of course, thought about that page. The first thing is that I got a feeling that Kyle's teacher is going to be his new love interest. I got the feeling that she had all ready jumped the fence and was feeling dirty. Then he should reply to her request for a temporary timeout with a request for a divorce, in order to force her to realize what she was doing. After four more pages I remain highly interested and a bit puzzled. Fregen did a very good analysis of the situation. Personally reconciliation would not be on the map because of the inability to ever trust her again. Full disclosure was her last chance in my opinion.. But even then ....

You are one of the best authors on this site. I look forward to all of your stories. Just DONT PULL a DQS and disappear for months at a time.

my nomination for the lover is her divorce lawyer. keep it coming!

TSIA

and already she missed her first visitation with her son, and will not see him on her first weekend,

Didn't take her long to crawl back in her lovers bed did it?

Thanks for the great read. Looking forward to part two tonight.

Thanks: Tom

This and the rest of your stories are the BEST on LIT!! I cannot wait for the next two chapters...

what a writer get my interest 110 percent

I'm hoping you'll clarify if she actually cheated, which I believe she did. If she did, then NO RECONCILIATION.

Having 'been there done that' with a similar secretive wifey. Knowing something and conjecture doesn't work well for me either. I never even had what he had going for him, the little warnings, the - well all of it. It's the same secretiveness of all her life outside home and the lil warnings + the exact comparisons to the Punic Wars + Civil War that got to me. The secret lover with whom she was planning it all out way ahead of him, wanting to catch him with his pants down. I never had the pleasure of a 'sit down' with our lawyers and nowadays realize it was best for me that way.

All in all, a great story and I await the excitement and pleasure of reading your next episode . . .

Been there, done that. I had two girls aged nine and six and I got sole custody. I wasn't as calm as the protagonist in this story, but just as deliberate. Mine had a happy ending - wife #2 is a keeper; the ex moved several states away and that really helped.

I've had doubts about you; you have showed promise as a writer but unevenly. This story had very good and convincing detail and no bad or heavy sentences.

If I may, a problem with writing is moving from short to long. You have enough in this one chapter for an entire book. If it were fleshed out with layers of details and bits of human life, it would be a serious work about family. I have no idea where this is heading - and that's wholly your business - but I suggest you think about where the gaps are in the story, in the time line, in the emotional journey and how more invention would fill those.

I mention this because most writers on this site and elsewhere can't get past plot, meaning the writing is a series of this happened and then that happened. You can do more.

Another great tale. And one appreciates your finishing the story and publishing it over a couple of days, rather than finishing part one and then starting part two, etc. My own preference as well.

Look forward to parts two and three!

and your staging lead me to believe that she has/had feelings for the school teacher. Only occasionally do you have her referring to the "other person" as a he. And those few times might have been an oversite on your part.

Kind of like the line "Whitney words longer hours." You meant to say works. I think it was on page 3.

In addition she has a lot of information about former husbands and life in general of the teacher that would not be available to the general public.

I am guessing there may have been a past intimacy she is ashamed to tell her husband about, and may have wanted to continue it. Additionally she did not make it to the teacher conference because she was afraid she might be found out. Also, she always says she has never screwed any one else, no mention of other forms of sex.

If I was writing the story, as I am reading into it, I would have worded it vaguely as you have done. Since you indicate it is already written I feel free to make these remarks, if it was still in the works I would have refrained.

Like what you have given us so far. Not sure if I want to give it a 2 or a 5, It is well written but I vote lower for cheating stories.

I hope there is a happy ending for all.

Thanks.

Months away from a wedding, I began to sense strange differences in my Fiance. Being caring and loving, I would hold her, ask her what was wrong, reassure her of my love and ask her what I could do to make her smile?

She also changed her ways, her mischief with me, her devilish smile and our sex, all the while - something wasn't right.

Finally, I called off the wedding, I was devastated knowing something wasn't right and I sensed that she wasn't being honest with me. I tried to give her space but she would show up at different after hours lounges and allow men to fondle her - trying to make me jealous, that works the opposite with me. Finally, I asked her to tell me what she wanted, what was going on and I told her of my suspicions that she had been unfaithful to which she got quiet, thought for a second and then just said - it was just sex, I love you. Done!

I still hurt, years later, I loved her more than life itself but - she could never undo her dalliance and tormenting me with other men was way over the top.

Luke is going to hurt for a long time, maybe forever but, he'll never forget what she did, even if it is just a possibility! Think about it, she didn't even love or respect him enough to confide the truth. The more educated, the more intellectual the individuals, the more the imagination wanders and the more the hurt grows.

Great story, looking forward to the rest. Sad, I feel for this guy, know he would rather have his loving wife but also know that he realistically will never get her infidelity out of his mind, that thought and emotion is worse than a slow death - actually, maybe the same!

Thanks!

You are the real deal my friend.............a pleasure..........

I love this, but it is so sad.Thank you so much,R.

Sad story for me as it was a reflection of my past. I was exactly like the husband. I think that when one person does too much for another it can cause the other person to lose respect for the guy.

When my love told me she didn't love me any more and that she didn't feel loved it just blew my mind. What more can you do? Why didn't she say that the last time I had my tongue up her ass? She said she was bored and needed something more - something exciting. She got it.

We have two kids together. When my daughter was eighteen, she moved in with me. My seventeen year old son is at my place almost every day after school. He'll probably be here full time in August when he turns eighten and can choose for himself.

My revenge? Well, I have to interact with her often cause of the kids, and I get to listen to her whine about the new man in her life - a violent alcoholic. She sure has excitement now. Never knowing when she will be slapped around. Police called several times a year. She works two jobs to pay the bills caue he's like a kid when it comes to money - can't plan ahead and pisses away wht he does earn.

Me? I am very supportive when she tells me all this. Late middle age and I see her looks going. Not long before any sex appeal is no longer there. I tell her things to help her work it out with the guy. That's my revenge. That she is with that guy.

Dear author I have read all your stories recently and enjoyed them very much. Look forward to the rest of this one. Wouldn't bother me if they got together again. Love is a funny thing - you can't turn it on and off. Every time I see my ex I still want her, but no, I wouldn't take her back.

The dialogue between Kyle and his Dad is a very real portrayal of the child -- excellently done.

The lunch with Peggy Marsh, the psychology professor, condensed the realization process into a single conversation that was not artificial; and it gave real definition to Luke's person. Together with his conversation with Whitney when he expresses his fear that this undefined monster will attack his son and himself again, Luke is as completely and artfully developed a character as there is in literature.

Rehnquist, before you sign a publishimg contract for your first novel or screenplay, please let us know your public nom de plume so we can follow you outside the confines of Literotica.

A little sad, but so is life sometimes. Very good read. You are one of my favorites!

A sad story, but in many ways very true to life, very interested to see where it goes from here.

Judging from the testimonials, this is a very realistic way that marriages collapse. I suppose Rehnquist would know, given his profession. Unfortunately, the story leaves me depressed, but that's better than angry, which is how I would feel if the husband had tolerated the wife's evasiveness. I'm not surprised by other commentators' eager anticipation of the next chapter, but I feel this story is already complete. In fact, towards the end I forgot this was going to be a multi-part story, and the bit about the getting a dog struck me as a perfect ending.

. . . combination of military history and tactics, sociology, and the legal aspects of divorce. I decided to read this one slow, thorough, taking good notes. In a way I am glad I took that approach. First with the legal stuff, it has to be realistic, far more so than in many stories written by guys who have no clue. I found the use of military history scenarios fascinating and apt from Leonidas and the Spartans being surprised and destroyed by perfidy, to Hannibal's double envelopment at Cannae that is still considered classic in military tactics, and especially Buford and Reynold's stand on the slopes of Culps Hill that so influenced Gettysburg. All were examples drawn well to the difficulties of a marriage under fire.

The most telling though was Stalingrad where the Sixth Army died, ordered to stand and die by Adolf Hitler. All of the advice Luke was given before his marriage by his brother, by his colleagues over coffee, and by his lawyer pointed to avoid Stalingrad, and yet that seemed to be Luke's only option in his military trained mind.

It has been a good week for stories here on Literotica; DQS gave us another chapter, Stang as well, and MM with a very different sort of story. Now we have the start of a new three parter by the Chief Justice. I wonder where this one is going. It seems at this point and from this perspective that Like and Whitney end up in a happily ever after at the end. I guess I'll just wait like everyone else.

... I must point out one grievous mistake.

First page ... fourth paragraph ... first sentence: where you refer to modest contributions ...

Sorry but I've yet to ready anything of yours that could be classified as modest ... this one including.

This one has all the makings of being as good as "The Bar and Grill".

Are we ever going to find out how all of this came about? I thought that the indentity of the third party would be revealed but it remains a mystery.

Thoroughly enjoying the story with all of its nuances.Please let there be comeuppance against her if only for the father and son. Provide recompense for all of the mental cruelty she has and continues to inflict upon both of them.Whilst not necessarily advocating "torch the bitch", they deserve better and she deserves to feel more of the pain for her lies and deception.

Another great story by this author. Brought up personal memories of semi role reversal and the emotional problems that came with it. A kind of quilt for both of us that we were not 'a man' or not 'a woman' for the way we lived. My ex still feels she abandoned the children and what kind of mother would do that. In fact I was much more nurturing than she was so it was best but I still felt it was not manly. This had a great deal to do with our divorce. I wondered if our story characters feel somewhat the same. Can't wait to find out.

I have enjoyed this story immensely. The characters are clear, complex, nuanced, and the back story(s) add to the characters.

I am hard put to see anything but trivial bits that might have been better. Maybe the husband could be a bit less than perfect. Bark at the kid in response to something the kid shouldn't have done. Whatever!

Good Work!

The story just flows and moves like a tight, great story should. You don't meander around in tangential stories, but rather keep going down the center. Impressive. Really impressive. Along the way, I get the added benefit of learning a bit about divorce law. Nice. Thank you.

Up to your usual high standards. Obviously well outlined. Storyline can move in a half-dozen different directions. Main characters well fleshed out, so we understand what is happening to them.

But you should have let a third party read the story before posting it. Too many typos/wrong words, mixed up words within a sentence, and clumsy punctuation. They are a major distraction from the otherwise smooth flowing read.

This is a great story. Luke is an excellent character. He is very vividly created. He is supportive of his family but not a pushover. I can feel his agony as he thinks about all he does to support his family and yet his wife has rejected him. He cannot come to closure because his wife won't tell him why. I like the decisive action he takes. You made it VERY clear that Whitney was planning to just pack up and leave in the near future. He just figured it out before she got to that stage. He was right, she no longer loved him and staying with her would have been a time bomb. At some point she would do it all again and just be more clever about it. He would have ended up blind sided. She won't tell him what went on even though it really doesn't matter anymore. Her affair is over and they are going to be divorced and she still won't be truthful. That reinforces his decision to leave her. <br><br>

Hmmmmmm. I just had a thought. Does this have to do with the drug case she is working on? A lot has been made of it. Is she protecting her family? Maybe nothing really happened with a guy? Whitney is a pretty good female character. She's not dumb but this "I don't know" reply she gives to his questions doesn't make sense. Why won't she give details? However if it does have to do with her case why does she want to make love with him or tell him she doesn't want a divorce? I'll have to hold my judgment of her until the story is over. It's really hard to develop a female character that does something that destroys her marriage but still remains a powerful person. Many wives are portrayed as dumb as a rock and that isn't very interesting. We have a mystery about Whitney. I hope its resolution is up to the rest of the story so far.

its seminary and McPheson's ridge you moron

reynold was killed on the 1st day and the fighting at culps hill did NOT take place until the 2nd day and 3rd of the battle.

Great job! I remember my parents divorce. You are capturing the human side so well. Great writing!

What makes this such a powerful and perfectly crafted story ....at least so far.... is the fact that the husband is consistent as character. He has high intelligence and keeps his brain as oppsoed to losing it simply because his wife shows a little pussy.

This is one of the things that really pisses me off about LW stories. You have numerous authors who develop these good stories... show how the husband is shocked and outraged and furious... only to change his mind as he as he gets to fuck the lying cheating whore wife.

And this story that doesn't happen which is so powerful and so re-freshening. I hope he does not happen in the upcoming chapters .

The actions of the wife are carefully displayed and analyzed by the husband and other characters in the story in such a intricate way that even when of the wife wants to call off the divorce .... he will not because

1) he doesnt know what is going on

2) the wife won't tell him what's going on .

3) but more importantly the **** wife doesn't think that her husband deserves the right to know.*** Even after she admits she has been chasing a fantasy and he stuns her with the announcement that the divorce is STILL going forward ...she wont talk because she still thinks that the husband does not deserve to know the truth .

It's not a matter of embarrassment by the wife if she admits what she as done. He simply does not deserve to know the truth.

The PROOF of this is the 401 K & the divorce conference.

The significance of the 401K AND the LYING to her own Attorney about who takes care of the child is KEY because it shows how disturbed her values are.

It is possible that she came to him in the bed naked and wanting to have sex out of guilt and in order to get him to change his mind.... without having necessarily fucked another man.

But when you add all the pieces up.... there is no doubt then that she has actually been fucking another man.

His argument was that if you wanted to get out of a rut you should make some what smaller changes before leaping off the cliff and destroy the whole family ... is perfectly rational and reasonable.

But she can't do that because it's already too late.

***Keep in mind how many times she has denied fucking another man. *** I counted seven times in this chapter but I might be wrong.

This is a fabulous story with all the right elements for suspense and drama. However, I also noticed some grammar and punctuation errors. Did you have a reliable second set of eyes review it?

Since you are posting the full story on three consecutive days, would it have hurt to delay a day or two on this first installment to be absolutely certain everything was correct? I think not.

Thank you as always for sharing your work with us.

If you can, please don't drag it out like Steele does. I know writer's block can be a bitch, but do the best you can. Thanks

I agree with Harryin VA's comments. He nailed it. The story started slow as you promised or predicted but it didn't drag. My only complaint other than having to wait until tomorrow to read chapter 2 was the number of typos. The typos really surprised me because normally you're very anal about proofreading.

I loved the lunch time "therapy" session with Doug and Peggy. It was a nice touch to give him a woman's perspective and confirm what his heart already knew....Whitney cheated. The other insights into Whitney's character are very telling too. You certainly know how to paint a picture with your words.

Are we going to hear Whitney's side of the story? I can't help but wonder how the big drug case comes to play apart in the story and what part Miss Palmer is going to play in the future installments? Will they be part of the major plot or just red herrings?

Glad to have a new story by one of my favorite authors on the site. Is there any way we can convince you to post more frequently?

~S

Five Frigging pages and you're going to leave me haninng?? Is there going to be a sequal?

Well done as usual, good to see a character who is consistent in his requirements for marriage and has enough common sense to see the holes in her sad explanation for herself. And he and the two colleagues had the clairvoyance to speculate what her probable activities had been. One ponders are a lot of diorces because we go to work at 7:00AM and don't get done with our kids sports till 9 or 10 PM?? Where did the fun go? The me time? The us time? This story is right on the money from my experience with divorced folks around me. Bravo Mr. R

Pace, dialogue, characters, everything was interesting and thought out - can't wait to see what happens next.

Really looking forward to the next two installments. I appreciated the way you had his colleagues providing an external dialog on the make up or break up question, instead of having the character arguing both sides with himself. Much more interesting that way.

Just gotta wait until tomorrow to see about the big changes. :-(

to read this here at literotica, not that I think it's so erotic, no because it kind of happend to me.

the most irritating thing is, the so much more much-vaunted women are again not capable to communicate.

against all opinions shared by the world wide community it's the women who can't talk. no I have to be precise.

they can kill you talking about everthing which has no value.

the weather, fashion ..... and so on.

But when it comes to live changing events, a stone will talk more to you than a woman.

I can't tell you right now, tomorrow, next week, soon you will see..... I heard it all.

I put her out of the house the first evening, I did not even wait for the divorce and it was the best thing I ever did. She all of a sudden realized what's going to happen.

We are back toghether now. after the divorce it took us more than 12 month with starting by zero and having kids did not make it easier.

the final point to start dating was she told me everything up to her last thought.

the bad side you ask ? she knows the complete trust she had before she will never have again. if she just hesitates a second to answer a question truthfully, she knows, she is done.

for some logic reason I post this without a name. I hope you can understand.

Thank you, author.

that is a heck of a story and I am quite sympathetic to your plight. Of course the DIFFERENCE in your story is that the wife DID come clean with you at some point.

In this story the hidden 401K is symptomatic of a bigger issue

Your preamble almost lost me. But really great. I especially like the way you make us feel the husbands frustration at his inability to get the why ?

What a way with words! Your characters have depth and pathos. I have connected with Luke, in fact I think that he would be a good friend. That is powerful writing.

I found your intro an excellent summation of many of the stories here. Most belong in fantasy or an alternate universe. This feels real and as such is much more emotional than many of JPB's works.

I get very tired with stories where the man only thinks with his little head. When Luke turns down his wife's advances for what he considers as the moral high ground, I wanted to applaud. I also like the 3rd parties who give reasonable advice and insight without appearing to be all knowing gods.

I am now eagerly awaiting the next three chapters.

Thanks!

Ttom

Couple of problems...the age and timeline for starters...that throws me off. There were also a few other inconsistensies that I don't remember and can't be bothered to re-read....HOWEVER, it is a good story. Not much more to tell though, they divorce then move on with their lives. No drama, no histronics, no secret gang-bangs, drugs, descent into abasement and debauchery and no friken over the top violence where the "hero" gets off scot free.

All I can say is congratulations. You're on a roll, but I think this one may well turn out to be the best thing you've ever done on this site. The story is unbearably sad, but its overwhelming strength is its seeming realistic style. This doesn't read like almost anything else you find on this site with its private detective reports or husbands walking in on their cheating wives or husbands finding incriminating emails! This FEELS like the way this kind of situation would occur and it's obvious from some of the comments that a fair number of readers have had something like this happen to them. It's one thing to KNOW that a spouse has been unfaithful, but it would be hell to suspect, to have to change your life because of that

suspicion, but never to know for a 100 percent certainty exactly what happened, or why. I suspect that these mysteries will be solved before the end of the story, but right now, at the close of the first chapter, that uncertainty haunts. The hardest part, I know from personal experience, would be to always wonder if there was something you could have done differently, if you should have fought to save something you walked away from. I wasn't in your hero's position, exactly, but its been 30 years and I still wonder at odd moments why things turned out the way they did, and if I should have held on instead of doing the smart thing and letting a woman I loved go. But in life, as opposed to fiction, a lot of times you never get those questions answered. I will look forward to the next two chapters.

...that you cut it up to make 3 submissions.

When reading your story, I was more than ready at the end to just keep on going to find out what happens in this little reality you have created, no matter what direction you take us.

I might wait till the 3rd one's up, re-read this, then just keep on going.

Thanks for sharing your work with us.

Right, that's all the sucking up you're getting from me.

A very sad story dealing with everyday problems facing most married couples. Luke is too perfect, however, hard to believe any woman would dump him and her family for the fantasy of an affair. I liked the way you made him pro-active in getting the divorce started. It forced her to get her head out of her ass and want to stop the divorce and end the affair.

Witney's character is not fleshed out enough. She is the lover of his life and passionate in bed. She is probably lying to him about no sex and if she was fucking her lover while missing her first post-divorce visits with her son, she is a lying whore. Her failure to come clean and offer to go to counseling shows she really doesn't care.

You did not really explain how they got together - was his best friend warning him of her before they got married? She seems to be a selfish person who would make a terrible partner. I would have thought that Luke would have been more interested in finding out who she was cheating with.

Thanks for writing. Your stories are great and getting better.

Excellent stuff! You do it so well, keep it up. Very eager for more, thank you.

Whitney still remains a mystery. I assume that will be resolved in the next two chapters. 5*s.

I think your stories reveal a great deal of talent but I tend to not agree with your story conclusions. My sympathy lies with the family - save it if at all possible. I'm not at all convinced by the husband's approach at this point. Time will tell.

Great start of my kind of story.

Great start to this story but I felt Whitney's reasons and what she did needs to be explored, right now she is a main character in the story but we don't know anything about her. Looking forward to reading the next two installments

This story has the painful feel of reality, especially the roller coaster emotions, the stress of living in the same house and the sadness of splitting possessions. After 26 years of marriage I just went through something very similar, except my ex and the dirt bag decided they are in love. Thank G-d our kids are out of college and totally independent.

Keep up the good writing. As painful as it is to read the story is cathartic.

I did my senior thesis on the Battle of Gettysburg and there is no way I would refer to you as a "moron". The first day of the battle was an almost complete rout and, had Lee more forcefully ordered Richard Ewell to occupy Cemetery Ridge, instead of merely suggesting that he do so if he were to find it practicable, the entire battle would have been a different story. We can never change history, by suggesting what might have been.

The important story here is the one you have posted. So far, it has been a really emotional ride. Not all good stories are happy ones, but this is a really good story. Thank you for sharing your considerable writing skills.

Loved the metaphor of war in the basement and the rest of the house...and further, the child making more soldiers to carry the fight further. Can't wait to discover the traitor. Ah, The "pubic war"...brings back silly giggling in prep school latin and history..."vidi, vici, VENI".

Mr. Rehnquist, I thoroughly enjoy your generous gift of sharing your literary talents with me and others. Please know it is greatly appreciated...and relished!

FIVE

Once again, your story telling is amazing. The detail, the feeling...you've captured it. This story just strikes a little too close to home for various reasons.

The emotions you raise in your writing makes the story all the better.

Keep up the awesome work.

The story certainly has a lot of life in it, and sorrow to boot.

I am very curious about if she really has had sex with another man, or is she just fucked in the head.

I enjoyed this chapter very much, and will begin chapter 2 right away.

Thanks.

I noticed a few wrong words. 'Mouth' instead of 'month' IIRC.

That was the only glaring discrepency I noted.

I'm hooked and I'm going to finish it.

I'm a bit surprised he didn't try to find out any details before hand though. You don't need to be a Spec Ops guy to suddenly grab your kid and follow your wife to the Fuck Buddy.

This chapter describes the pain and confusion of divorce in much the same way I experienced it in my divorce. Your writing neither glorifies nor minimizes the action/reaction cycles of trying to stay sane in the emotional crucible.

I appreciate you and will continue to look for new works from you.

Usually hate reading these kinds of stories but this one is so well done it's hard not to get sucked in. I felt his pain and his confusion, it was that well done. And the father/son scenes were the sweet in the middle of the storm.

You're developing your main characters in wonderful fashion. I think you've done an especially good job of describing Kyle and his relationship with his parents.

You said it would be slow but you hooked me on the first page. That is good writing! Gotta go read the other chapters now.

When characters are being developed I notice when there are obvious lapses of detail. Since these two had been married a long time, they would have known all about details such as 401(K) plans of each other. The importance of the upcoming trial could not have been minimized when the husband was searching for reasons for the wife's upset.

why is this on this site and under "loving wives"?

you write well, so do write. Maybe do a book but under " loving wives" we ususally look for some sex.

If she wanted custody, she would receive custody. Primary care giver is a lie the family courts use to justify almost always awarding custody to mothers in contested cases. However, if the father is the primary care giver the courts still award custody to the mother. In that case the family courts use the lie "in the best interest of the children" to award custody to the mother.

I wish to disgree with a couple of the commenters. The father was outlined as the primary care giver and a Judge has the option to allow the husband getting custody and it often happens. Just not in his experience obviously.

My next point is: Loving Wives has all kinds of stories including Interracial, Erotic, Fetish, Voyeurism/Exhibition etc. If he would just type in "Loving Wives" he could get more specific in his selection and select what he wants.

I type in "Cheating wives" and get what I want to read as I don't care for the erotic part that much. Although "Educating Shannon" was done quite well. I would choose non-erotic but there is not that many to read.

I hope it continues - we all need to know what the hell happened here -

Luke did not say I love you, I don't want you to go! He should have tried to talk more. If this was my life I shire would tried a lot harder to work things out.

I feel like I just come from visit to twilight zone or mental asylum.That's what you get when you try to understand the writers logic,or the lack of it.There is no depth to it. As a story this stinks.I also wonder how shallow most readers are to award this attempt such a high marks. Well deserved 1 star.

And really unnecessary. Had he truly loved her and his family been more important to him, he'd have waited, given her the time. I know a couple that now have a happy marriage because he loved her enough to let her realize what she would be giving up to go with the other man. Traditional mom though, not like Whitney, and he had been inattentive for several years before the problems.

He was dealing with a totally self sufficient outside the home "worldly" wife who was walking out on him and their son.

The decision to act on her proof of deceit and lack of faith and trust in him IS enough to justify his actions. Loving someone does not require you let yourself be treated like crap and abused just so they get to do whatever strikes their fancy. He might have decided to wait and it might have been OK but the proof of that fallacy is that she still refuses to answer honestly or deal with the reality of what was going and an how it affects the family until. She is still not present - let's see the rest of the story = I know it but even the first time I wanted the rest.

You are clearly a talented author, but I can't imagine most people really being interested in the war dioramas and the related discussion . I agree with his refusal to get back with her simply because she would not honestly discuss the whole thing.

It's been my experience that unless the root cause of what caused the split in the first case is addressed and corrected, that she would have done the same thing again sooner or later .