All Comments on 'The Day of Awakening'

One of the 20 worst stories as far as spelling, grammar and sentence structure I've read on this site. And that's not a compliment. I suspect English may be your second or most likely third language. If this is your best just please quit writing.

Good premise but very awkwardly written. An editor would help.

I loved it, keep going

I have to agree with most of the rest. You DEFINATELY need an editor. The story was very poorly written and hard to keep track of.

Time to go back to school!

get an editor

Asian, 37D. What the fuck world have you zoomed in from?

You do need an editor, but in the great majority of stories that credit editors for their help, the editors are worth exactly what they have been paid--nothing! They couldn't spot an error if it walked up and sang "Yankee Doodle."

Can you please continue the story