All Comments on 'The Day That Never Was'

I'm no expert (plus I'm a guy), but I don't know how believable it is that she had an orgasm right after the "stab of pain" when her hymen broke...

Also, the description of her orgasm just... rang false for other reasons. There was one sentence about a feeling "washing through her body AND her clitoris" (or something like that). Unless I'm greatly mistaken, the clitoris is PART OF the body.

Sorry, but overall, it read to me like it was written by someone who had never experienced sex, and was just parroting what they have read about it. Keep writing, though - that's how you get better!

Dont pull out fill her up till shes go one