by Just Plain Bob
Ol' Jerry was a PLAYA, and wifey disrespected him so much, she took his denial at face value.
Wow, what a pile!
A few months back I submitted my own story to Literotica and, while it received an exceptionally high score (thanks everyone), putting my fate in the hands of the readers made me especially sensitive to the few harsh and generally anonymous negative comments that I received (the scores themselves seemed to be nearly all "5"s with a few "1"s, so I guess you can't please everyone).
I appreciate and admire everyone who takes the time to write for this site. The work is time-consuming, under-appreciated, and unrewarded.
But Damn, JPB!
This was just a complete and total waste of my time and my life; a half hour that I will never get back and could have used for something more productive - like starting a toe jam collection or shaving my cat's butt.
I had hoped that your story would go somewhere, have at least one likeable character, or a redemptive message of some kind. But, no. All I got was a pile of steaming, smelly dog crap that kept getting steamier and smellier as the story progressed.
To paraphrase the principal from Billy Madison (and you've got to dig pretty deep to get something of meaning from an Adam Sandler movie), "[W]hat you have just [written] is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever [read]. At no point in your rambling, incoherent [story] were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational [or redemptive] thought. Everyone [on this site] is now dumber for having [read] it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
Amen and Amen.
According to the story Jerry didn't start until she went back to work. And if he thinks she's a fat cow-do something about it. Get yourself back to where your husband wants you again. Period. This story was about the usual: a woman thinking she was better than her husband deserved.
... a story with no likable characters. I had sympathy for the Fat Cow in the beginning of the story but it quickly wore off. By the end, I'd hoped for a huge fatal accident that would leave the kids to be adopted by actual decent people.
All five of the named adult characters in this story were despicable. Only the children deserved love and consideration. Sadly, odds are slim any of them will reach adulthood with the skills needed to be a good spouse and mother. Children of divorce are less likely to marry and a higher proportion of their marriages end in divorce. They are also at increased risk of substance abuse and suicide.
But, of course, no one gets hurt if Mom or Dad decide to get some strange while traveling on business. No, that's not selfish or destructive at all. Everyone deserves to take part in a good double penetration after having to work all day.
Keeping score, he did everything she did, cut her off, treated her like shit first, called her a fat cow and SHE’S the problem? Please never vote in elections and each of you find a cpa to handle your financial affairs because logic is NOT within your abilities.
The only tears Jerry will shed are tears of joy to be free of this fat gang bang cow.
Pointless story. Didn’t go anywhere. She turns out to be the big douchebag in this one.
Generous 2 stars thought it was going somewhere else
Who wants to get close to this mental illness. Sick bastards the lot of 'em.
Do you have any idea how kids raised by whores and bastards turn out? Am I hitting too close to home?
a useless tramp whose best use is as a cum dumpster at a crack house
And she stayed a hottie. The next babies she had were twin boys. And then she had another son. Even after all those children she maintained her tight body and her love for Jerry . He had the life he had dreamed of after he got rid of the fat cow. I think after some time passed his fat cow returned to being a fat cow. Once a fatty, always a fatty. Well done Jerry, well done!!
I usually don't have much sympathy for cheaters, and feel that if their husband is so bad she should just leave, but Jerry was SUCH an ass that I figured, "What the Hell!" and as long as she kept it discreet (and by the way authors, that's the correct spelling, NOT discrete, which means "separate and distinct") and out of town she was entitled to some pleasure.
Then, when it turned out that he actually had been cheating on her, I went totally over to her side!
A woman being a woman, likely more truth here than not. When a man has a good woman, it is best to treat them right and take care of them, because like all promates, they will eventually find another.
and yet you read it. I think and the rest of lit thinks you are a brain dead piece if shit! So to help offset your craziness I gave this a 5
and the 2nd child takes 9 months, the 1st is a guess-timate. TK U MLJ LV NV
Same old sorry story.
Biology 100 Chapter I Page One: Sexual Reproduction is a crapshoot.
Sex of Fetus is determined by biological father's chromosomes. All eggs produced by biological females are female. Reproduction by parthenogenesis results in only female offspring, i.e. clones of the birth mother.
Reproduction by sexual fertilization by a males sperm will have either complete XX {female} chromosomes or incomplete XY {male} chromosomes or some indeterminate combination of both. You blindly place your bets and you whistle 'O Fortuna ' at the results. The indeterminate impuissant ones become anonymousie commentators.
And it is still the Females who suffer through the pregnancies and face death at every childbirth and the burdens of feeding the infants and raising the children.
If this is the Future, where the hell are the artificial wombs?
With three kids she doesn't have a single second to play around. With no husband, she's buried. Anyone who thinks otherwise hasn't had kids. Did Jerry just completely leave his kids and have no contact? And didn't Jerry get rid of the fat cow and get a new, slim and trim model? Seems like they both lost. And mostly because they couldn't communicate worth a damn.
Every character in this iale was a cheating asshole. All scumbags who should suffer in extreme pain with some form of a disease.
Well written. though.
a story from the woman's point of view. From the moral point of view Stephanie should have dumped Jerry before screwing around. The Hal, Mike and Gloria are just cheats.
Superbly written by a Master of the Craft. This is the reason why I like perusing this site, to rarely find a pearl such as this.
I liked the way Bob made Stephanie a character that the reader could feel sympathy for, even though she was a cheating slut.
A nice storyline and a smooth flowing story.
Thanks for the read.
Well, you finally found one I guess. I gave it Five Stars; can you believe it???
Nicely done. Such sad, shallow people. Authentic enough to bring back memories I would rather forget.
I loved the "sag" a of The Fat Cow. She was a wonderful forthright character. One awful mistake this author made was not introducing the lead character by name. Her real name, Stephanie, was only mentioned once during the whole story by my calculation...and that was a third of the way through the story A very amateurish writing mistake. Nonetheless, I enjoyed this story.
... but miserable people and situation. Jerry was an asshole and it looks like he was fucking around too. I kind of get why Stephanie stuck with him until she was working but after that why prolong the agony? Life is too short to live miserably unless you have to. At least she finally wised up. Was she a slut because she cheated? Yeah, a bit. But Jerry deserved it so who cares. It was probably a realistic story describing the crap in people's lives but not a happy story.
Call it a 4-star. This story is not your usual fare (other than the category), but I rather liked the story. I didn't care much for the wife (the "fat cow"), but all in all, a decent piece of fiction.
For some reason your writing is growing on me. Still a little fast paced and devoid of any details of the characters, but some humor here and there. I guess what I miss in your stories is the lack of passion, anger, happiness. It's all a narrative within a narrow range of emotion, so I read them and never get caught up in the tale.
via Feedback link. They are very extensive, but you are free to disregard any or all. You write well, even though this is a genre I don't ordinarily read and don't generally like. I can genuinely sympathize with ol' Steph, and she is a hottie for sure. Hal is more of a stereotype, and Mike is just cardboard; but that's all right for this genre, it's all about the ladies anyway. I'm sure the trolls will be in here blasting away, but fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. In any case, why do they read this stuff if they don't like it?