All Comments on 'The Full Package - Wednesday'

Leaving Pable alive, that's going to come back to haunt them.<p>

This thing is now turning into a Pierce Brosnan movie, btw. Not good. Why do I get the feeling that everything that made the first couple chapters sexy is now over and in its place we're going to get an action and adventure story. No more sweet exhibitionism play from Cody, which was the best thing about this story. Now she'll just fling herself at the stupid husband and that'll be that.<p>

Damn. Oh well, hopefully this thing will surprise me and turn back around.<p>

It's still well written and it's still a compelling story so I can't give it less than a 75. It's losing its appeal though, with each new chapter. If the next chapter is more action and adventure with the husband continuing to be a moron then this one will have lost me...

I went back and read the other stories first. You write well and you have skills above the average literotica contributor.

But, I agree in that what originally worked for your first two chapters is slipping away. I understand, because you need to do the next thing and keep the story moving, but it's tough to get bigger while maintaining the integrity of what originally worked. For your next chapter, which I'm excited for, don't worry about topping what you've already done with Cody. Relax, write for fun, and don't worry about outdoing yourself. It feels like you're trying a little too hard.

Keep it up!

Great story and characters - the build-up with Cody was fantastic. Really hoping to see further stories with these characters!