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He grinned down at her, then carefully, with her legs still holding him tight, he rolled over onto his back, taking her with him.
"So far, so good." She felt the cum leaking from her and hoped that the cock held in place. With as little movement as possible, she reached for the cover and pulled it up over them. Then she settled onto his damp chest. He wrapped his arms around her. After a quiet moment she broke the silence. "I think I'll keep you."
She felt him chuckle underneath her. "But won't a relationship interfere with your job?"
She squeezed around his cock and looked up into his eyes, tilting her head in mock confusion. "I've got a job?"
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 9 years agoYes, usually bad grammar can distract you and halt your progress through the story. Regardless, the story was wonderful. The stories of each individual are enough to immerse you but still remain mysterious. The only criticism I can give is that the story should start off with Derek watching her in the bar, trying to get her attention, this way you understand his obsession and hostility toward her :) The sex was written extremely well but the emotion portrayed is magnificent! You should seriously consider publishing a book maybe along the lines of Mills & Boon Publishing. - Just don't forget to hire a proof reader ;) -
SarinDipityabout 11 years agoAuthorHi, Just wanted to say that I completely agree about the grammar and misspells. It really does distract from the story. I went over this several times and thought that I'd caught most of it. Then I read it on line and was sad to see so many. I'm hoping I can fix it up and resubmit. Til then, thank you for your feedback on the characters. I'm happy you enjoyed it.
searchingforperfectionabout 11 years agoI really enjoyed this a lot. The malice of the ghost was very well portrayed, as was the inherent goodness and solidity of Brian. Despite being "on camera" the most, Bridget's character was not drawn as well. That lack of depth (even in an obviously shallow person) took away from her transformation. Of course, that's just my opinion.
On a separate matter, this story needs a cleanup in the grammar and spelling department. That's one of my pet peeves.
