All Comments on 'The Gift Ch. 01'

I thought this story was incredibly sexy but I feel like it is incomplete. For what I've read, I can only assume that the Shane has had romantic feelings for Kristine for at least a small amount of time. It almost sounds like he's trying to convince himself that he only sees her as a friend but he really has deeper feelings for her.

Either way, I think you need to find a way to explore the dynamics of their relationship a little more. Maybe add more of a conversation to the begining and as the conversation progresses there can be asides to the reader, explaining his feelings/thoughts/whatever about Kristine and their relationship. He is her best friend, who obviously wants her, and hasn't expressed his feelings because... she has an affinity for bad guys without realizing it? If his best female friend was in so many bad relationships, he might have more of a reaction to that (i.e. being protective, thinking angry/violent thoughts about her exes, etc.)

The passion for each other is there and its conveyed really well. Shane tries to control his urges until he's sure she feels the same and then he reacts passionately. Its very sexy and sweet. One thing that was a little weird, the dialouge where he's giving her tips doesn't quite fit with the... lust? He keeps saying please. I mean, i understand he's trying to make the experience different from her past horrible ones, but you say "please" when you pass the salt. He can be sweet without being overly proper and polite.

I'm really looking forward to the next chapter. So don't leave me hanging:D