by TheQuietAuthor
very hot. well written too... I'm hoping to see at least a few more of these. I can't wait to see what happens next.
It really detracts from a good story when there are MANY spelling/usage errors. I had to wonder if you even reread what you wrote before submitting it. If you do not feel confident in your own ability to edit, please submit it to the editors here before publishing it. The story certainly had merits, but it could have been even stronger with better editing.
very good for your first effort - but you need an editor - particularly the first half - words missing - others mis spelled
when it is your own work it is often easy to miss what you have actually written rather than what you think you have written
plot line is a bit far fetched but i enjoyed it.
Keep it up
Waiting for chapter two and beyond. Little editing and you are on your way.
But just a little. The storyline was good, a good fantasy. A few errors corrected and you're good!
Excellent story! My only disappointment was that it wasnt longer :)
Looking forward to more of this great stuff!! Keep it up!
By far one of the hottest stories on here. Keep these coming, please!
How come there's not any comments?
This story's great, the fantasies are just my type.
I'm seriously looking forward to the sequels.