All Comments on 'The Long Road Back Ch. 06'

I cant believe she gave away what most people would kill for for one roll in the hay. What a stupid bitch. And then she blamed Danny for the way he acted. At least he didn't throw her out on the street. Hawk should be shot. I hope this doesn’t turn into a love story between two cheaters. I have loved it up till now. That said, I still like the way you write. :)

...So one night of passion to her was worth her marriage. Sure Danny threatened her but other than his words during a time he was drunk and obviously hurting, he didn't seem to display any actions that showed he would actually carry out his threat. But I guess she knew him better than the writing portrayed him, which seemed kind of dispassionate for all the characters, other than the fucking of course. Dunno, she doesn't have my sympathy, she was a cheating wife, and how convenient for her, her husband dies.

Story and plot are also important and I agree with other reviewers that her move from a blissfull marriage to throwing it away so easily pushes away the thought that this makes much sense - except in the most extreme cases. And the author has not given us the character development to make this believable. Danny also - same comments - where did the character development show us he would give up so easily. But sure well written. Too bad writing and thought out character development do not fit.

I want to speak to the character development.

There is really only one character in this story, and that is Crystal. Everyone else is furniture. So hers is the only one whose character is meaningful.

People do everyday what she, Danny, Hawk, and Paul did. Some pay, and some don't. We really don't need to know any more about them than we do. Too much 'character development' could really bog the story down. We just take her word about the others. It's all plausible.

Crystal doesn't dwell much on her own character change; we infer that from her narrative. I think that's one of the strong points of the story.

All that being said, what a reader takes away from the reading is peculiar to that individual.

In my opinion, there have been only 6 or 7 "good" (again, in my opinion) writers here. Now there are 7 or 8.

James

K, really you lost me chapters ago... I skipped the previous three and at best skimmed parts of this one...

I'm mired in the issues I have with it so I'll just skip reading it...

Thanks for the writing though...