- NonHuman
- The Lost Lord Ch. 04-05
- Comments
All Comments on 'The Lost Lord Ch. 04-05'
by TheTask
- 16 Comments
Anonymousabout 11 years agoIts gonna be interesting seeing all 4 of these girls in the same room at once. Hopefully soon.. ;)
Anonymousabout 11 years agoIt is getting good. I like it so far, but feel it needs a little more plot.
Hoodedabout 11 years agoreally enjoying your story keep up the fantastic work looking forward to reading more
Jedi_Khanabout 11 years agoProbably about the same as the last installment. Definitely need an editor to go over your work here. There are too many specific things that need fixing to list here, but in general, the chief among them are sentence structure, word choice, and grammar.
Now for a comment, rather than criticism. Rainer seems to be handling this all unusually well, doesn't he? And the pacing seems to be a bit...brisk. Keeping in mind that I have yet to read beyond this installment, the story is okay but could use a bit of refinement and adjusting to the pace of things.
Like I've said before, I'll be attempting to read the rest of this story and will offer up what I can without being a complete jerk. Hopefully, there will come a time where I can say "You've improved a lot, good job," or something like that, and nothing else in criticism.
eugene2kover 10 years agoThe allusion to Elder Scrolls was a nice touch :)
Though playing videogames when you have a hot chick in the house? Was that a bout of temporary impotence?
Anonymousalmost 8 years agoVery, very cliche storyline between angels, demons and humans that's been done again and again, plus the whole school setting adds further to the boring. Even so it has some "potential" but is ruined by horrid writing skills, and don't get me started on your damn ...Grimoire lol. I give you respect for trying at least and putting something out there to be viewed but your work leaves much to be desired as the writing style is lackluster as is the originality of the tale. 1 star
