All Comments on 'The Mall Adventure'

Good first story, short but good. I enjoyed reading this story & I hope you will continue writing more parts to it. Please make future stories longer.

Not a bad story, but obviously a fantasy; i.e. not real. You might consider mentioning this at the heading and/or at the top of your next "story". :)

Good, but you should add some dialogue. Don't tell us what your characters said, let them say it for themselves.