The Management Training Program

"Please continue Eric."

I was struck by such terrible confusion. It was hard to collect and organize my thoughts knowing that the cane was to be the result of my confessions. I knew I was to be spanked, but I thought she was going to let me speak my mind first and bear up to the punishment later. This was so much worse. I had so much to say -- and I wouldn't be able to last very long this way.

To tell the truth Terri had caught me off guard again. I stammered and stumbled a few I's and um's -- trying desperately to get my bearings. I was afraid Terri was going to whip me for my failure -- which only made my confusion worse.

Thank heaven she didn't. Instead, she stood patiently by as I struggled to compose myself. "I know I have a serious responsibility to live up to -- and that I've failed to meet that responsibility. I've looked at myself as the center of the universe, rather than part of the overall success of my company. And in doing so I've caused a lot of problems -- some visible, others probably not yet even realized."

I saw Terri move out of the corner of my eye and then, SNAP -- the blinding white fire pain as the cane landed on my bottom. Again I screamed and grunted out a sting of curse words, trying to bear the brunt of her punishment. I could almost feel the welt rise on my ass. "Oh please stop. It hurts too much. I can't go on. I'm sorry."

Terri said nothing. The silence built to a deafening crescendo. I knew I had to continue. I grunted my confession through clenched teeth, trying to ride out the sting of the cane.

"I've learned that my position -- and my success as an executive must be based on trust. And I know that this trust must be earned rather than demanded. I've realized over the course of today that trust is an outcome of my actions. I'm too volatile. People don't know what to expect from one minute to the next. That means they never know where they stand. They are worried about making a mistake. Worried about meeting my high standards. I think the result is they want to avoid me and my activities. I've made them afraid rather than engaged. I've never been aware of the feelings of others. Never felt it was important. When, in fact, it is probably the most important thing for me to do."

I struggled to find more to say on the subject, knowing that when I paused, I would pay a severe price. It was not to be. It was a natural stop -- a totally complete thought. I braced myself as much as I could in this position. SNAP! The cane landed with a vicious bite. "Ayee! Oh shit! Fuck! Damn!

The combined pain of the caning was building to unbearable proportions. I writhed in my position, desperately trying to shake off the sting. It was an uncontrollable gesture -- and totally useless. My bottom was burning. Tears filled my eyes. My mind was racing with one thought -- how much more?

I lay there for a long moment living in my own personal torment until finally the sharpness of the sting subsided away ever so slightly into a sustainable throb. I struggled for control of my thoughts, knowing that I had to continue. With panting hesitancy I continued my confession. "You've taught me a very painful lesson today about rules. And why I can't hold myself above them. I've always thought that rules were for others, not me. I've been incredibly haughty, believing that others should be held to a different standard than me. It's all somehow related to teamwork, I suspect. In order to promote teamwork, I need to include myself on the team. If we are truly to be effective we all need to exist under the same set of rules and guidelines. I think this key lesson will also help me adapt to situations where I am not in control. Like now! I finally realize how important it is to give up my belief that I have a right to control others."

I braced myself for the cane I knew was coming and for once wished I was wrong. SNAP! The intense pain of the blow built to an immediate crescendo. I screamed in agony, sucked in my breadth, gritted my teeth -- all those involuntary reactions that help reduce pain. It was of little use. This was a whipping. My bottom was on fire. The psychological torture of confession, knowing that the torment of the cane would follow was too much. I begged for Terri to release me from the torture. "Anything but this." I pleaded in a not very elegant way. I knew I couldn't go on.

Terri must have known it too. "I know how difficult this must be for you Eric. How hard it is to balance the lesson of the cane with the clarity of mind needed to confess your shortcomings. I do think we've gotten through to you. I know, by the way you are speaking, that you have learned your lesson. You needn't say anything for these last two strokes."

Last two strokes. More whipping. My bottom was hurting so badly, I didn't think I could take any more. There was nothing to do but just lay there. SNAP! The cane came down immediately. The pain was severe in its intensity. I cried out in distress. Only the anguish was present. The sting was relentless. SNAP! The last blow put me over the brink as waves and waves of suffering flowed through my butt. I buried my face in the cushion and writhed my butt around. There was no relief. It was pure torture.

The final blow built to a stinging crescendo and I struggled to bear up to its effects. The combination of the day's activities had taken its toll. No level was left untouched. The intense after sting of the cane was dominant of course. But there was also a deeper pain. The muscles in my bottom were bruised and cried out in anguish. In between, was the broad continual sting of the hairbrush/paddle. And finally, around the edges, an overall stiffness in my back, thighs and shoulders. Every movement of my body, every flinch of my muscles, was crying out in a virtual symphony of torment.

But that was not the worst of it. The ever-present physical pain was understandable. After a full day of beating, it was logical that my body would hurt.

The psychological pain was infinitely worse. The final confessions of the moment -- and the unexpected blows of self-awareness about my behavior, and the knowledge of why I was here in the first place -- left me reeling. So much so, that I actually welcomed the physical side. Deep in the back of my mind I knew it was a well-earned and clearly deserved punishment.

As I lay there struggling with both my psychological and physical suffering, I felt Terri's presence behind me. And then, her touch. I jumped involuntarily as she placed her hand gently on my bottom. But this time, it was not for an additional spanking. The cream on her hand was soft and silky. The feeling was exquisite. Blissful relief. Ever so gingerly, Terri rubbed the soothing softness of the cream onto my tortured bottom. The contrast was so striking. It was pure ecstasy. The overall tenseness within my body began to flow away. I was a prisoner to the sensation. I collapsed to the feeling, wishing that the moment would continue forever.

"Eric, we're finished" she whispered. "All I have to do is write up my report. You have behaved well. And I don't think any additional lessons will be necessary."

I couldn't believe my ears. Her words came as a powerful shock. The reality was hard to comprehend. Finished. Done. No more spanking. I didn't know how to react. No words came forth from my lips. All I could do was lie there in position as Terri continued rubbing the soothing cream onto my bottom.

"This has been a difficult day for you" she cooed in a tender voice. "Just stay there and let me relieve some of the pain for you. I'm pleased with your performance today. From reading you file, I was uncertain whether our program would be effective."

The soothing sound of her voice and the blissful sensation of the cream flowed through me. Terri continued to gently lather liberal amounts of soothing cream on my tormented bottom. The silky coolness was a wonderful sensation. But no amount of cream could completely remove the pain of the day's treatment. Every inch of my butt was still screaming in anguish. I collapsed in my position and availed myself to the slight relief of the new feeling. Terri continued to whisper softly about her pleasure in my performance. I didn't so much as hear her words, as I did the sound of her soft voice. I didn't want the moment to end. I needed to be reassured by her words. It was only much later that I realized that what I truly craved was absolution.

But after a while, I became aware of Terri's words offering her help in getting up from the couch. "Let me help you up Eric. Don't try to rush it. You must be very sore." I couldn't seem to move. My legs were stiff. My muscles didn't want to respond. My body was holding me a prisoner in position. However, with a seemingly Herculean effort, I was able to push off the cushion and slowly rise to my feet. But, even the simple act of movement was accompanied by overlapping waves of agony. My bottom was awash in the after sting of the spankings. My legs, back and thighs were stiff from inactivity. And there was a deep throb that was rapidly working itself to the surface.

Terri held onto my arm and slowly rubbed my back in a sympathetic gesture. I allowed myself to be led from the spanking chamber into her office. The first step was pure torment. Every motion ignited in pain. After the first steps, movement became easier. My body was beginning to recover. The coolness of the air conditioning in her office brought an additional moment of relief. I slowly began to regain my composure. Out of the chambers, out of my world of torture and into the office. I was entering back into the real world. It hit me hard. My punishment was complete. I was done. Tears of emotion at the knowledge formed in the corner of my eye.

I watched as Terri walked to the desk and opened a small bottle of aspirin. She handed me four tablets and a glass of water. "These should help a little, Eric." For some reason, I couldn't speak. I accepted the medicine without a word. Terri took the glass from my hand and placed it on a nearby table. "I need you to stand here before me as I write up my report, Eric. Turn around so that your back is facing my desk.

So here it was. The final act of the day. My humiliation was complete. I was to stand here on display like a child who had been sent to the corner. But in some strange way if felt appropriate. "I will leave you to your thoughts Eric. Please, no talking. This is the final part. Keep your hands folded in front of you. I want you to think about what happened here today -- and why."

I heard Terri move around behind her desk and the sound of the computer booting up. For a long moment, all I could do was listen to the sounds. And then I heard her start to tap on the keyboard. My report! Waves of anxiety flowed through my veins. I was uncertain whether I had passed the program. She said we were done, but I was unsure whether she said I had passed. I wanted to ask. I needed to know. I was desperate to find out. But her instructions were very clear. The final part.

Terri's fingers were flying across the keyboard. My future with the firm! Her fingers were crafting my future position. What was she saying about me? The uncertainty was almost worse than the punishment. For a long time I stood there. Each tap of the keyboard only heightened my anxiety. And then she stopped. I could feel her gaze. I could feel it on my bottom.

Her hesitation brought me back to reality. I became aware of my own sensations. In the silence, the intense sting of my butt moved forward. Hundreds of confusing thoughts raced through my mind. Unconsciously I began to reflect on the events of the day. My initial thoughts were about the spankings. The paddle. The hairbrush. That cursed cane. I seemed so surreal, as if it had happened to someone else. But the reality was obvious. The sting of my bottom was unavoidable. The pain was so real.

After some long moments, my thoughts turned to the reasons why I was here. I found myself reliving snippets of Terri's lectures. Worship of being right ... the power you have over people ... haughty and arrogant. And then my own words of confession flowed in like an overpowering wave. Abused my position ... quick to judge ... made others feel bad about themselves ... deserve your punishment. It was all true. I had abused my position. My own personal success was insignificant -- because I had failed at the art of managing others. I couldn't stop the thoughts as they flooded into my brain at a dizzying pace. The clarity at which I now understood the whole fucking point of the day was now embedded in my very being.

I lost all track of time in my contemplation until suddenly I became aware of the furious sound of typing. I emerged back into reality. I had no idea of how long had I been standing here. In the back of my mind I heard the sound of printing. Multiple pages were churning out. I desperately wanted to turn and look, but was afraid to do so. I heard Terri rummage around her desk and the sound of paper. Then I felt her presence beside me.

"Eric. I've arranged for a driver and a van to take you back to your home. I'll have someone else drive your car for you. I've sealed your report and you are not to open the envelope. Deliver it to Mr. Taylor first thing Monday morning. Here is some aloe for you to use this weekend. And you are not to say a word until you have left the building. Nod your head if this is clear to you."

I could do nothing but nod. It was cruel to leave me this way. I was in torment at not knowing whether I had passed. "You can wear this gown for the ride home." I slipped the gown over my head. It was incredibly soft. But even so, I could feel the pressure of the material on my bruised bottom. I looked at Terri with pleading eyes, hoping that she would notice my frustration and offer some words of encouragement. "The back of the van is padded and you can lie down on your stomach."

She seemed ambivalent to my pleas. I followed her through the office and back into the waiting room. The driver appeared out of nowhere and accepted the bag of my clothes from Terri. I walked slowly toward the front door with Terri following closely behind me. As I was leaving, Terri touched my shoulder, turned me around, pushed close, leaned in and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek. And with an almost imperceptible sound Terri whispered, "You passed."