The Proposal Ch. 04

Rick looks to Giselle, seeing the tears in her eyes. "I know how she feels," Giselle tells Rick. "I felt the same way for a long time after Jonathan." She clears her throat and says more forcibly to Charlie, "I'm okay with the idea, so long as Rick is." Giselle looks to Rick. "I'm not going to ask you to do this. This has to be your decision, and yours alone."

Rick looks to Todd for support, for guidance. He thinks it odd that he would even care what Todd thinks, but he realizes he does. "What do you think?" Rick asks him.

"I think you should do what you feel is right. Charlie and I talked about this last night. This will be the only time this subject comes up." Todd looks directly at Charlie, "Isn't that right?" he says in a tone harder than Rick has ever heard him use with her.

Charlie looks first at Rick, then at Giselle. "Yes," she says. "Your friendship is more important to me than some immersion." She then looks at Rick and smiles weakly. "Just pretended to think about it before you turn me down, okay?"

"I'll do you one better. Giselle and I will talk about it tonight and I will give you an answer tomorrow. Okay?"

Charlie sniffs again. "Thank you," she says to Rick, and then looks to Giselle. "Thank you for understanding," she says. "No matter what, thank you for understanding."

Todd adds, "It was a rough couple of months after Tip. Charlie took it hard."

"I haven't thought about Tip in years," Charlie says, gathering her composure. "But when I started talking to you about this it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, if Tip had access to the immersion she might still be here." Charlie wipes her eyes again and then laughs. "Some dinner party, huh?"

"Good times," Rick says with a small smile.

"I'm glad you felt you could talk to us about this. We'll—" Giselle glances at Rick. "—talk about this and let you know."

Charlie nods once in acknowledgement, then says, "I need another glass of wine. Giselle, how about you?"

Giselle nods once. "Please."

"I'll get it," Todd says, standing up. "Sit down, Charlie, I'll bring it." As he walks by Rick, he gives a slight jerk of his head toward the kitchen and Rick follows.

Once out of easy earshot Todd turns to Rick. "Don't let her bully you. You do what you think is right," he says, pulling glasses from the cabinet as he talks. "If you don't want to do this, she'll understand. Really. You and Giselle are our best friends. This isn't worth losing your friendship over, and she knows it."

"I don't remember this Tip. When was this?" Rick asks as Todd begins to fill the glasses.

"About ten years ago I guess. Maybe a little more or less. We never told you about it. Nothing you could to do, so why burden your friends? Man, that was tough. Seemed like Charlie cried all the time."

"About ten years ago? I remember this. I thought I had done something to piss you guys off because you got so distant," Rick says, realization dawning.

"Yeah. Sorry about that. But Charlie was a mess," Todd says quietly, remembering how helpless he felt. "Tip was the sweetest woman in the world. I guess we were in our mid-twenties, and Tip was a little older, maybe thirty. And she was stunning, I mean just drop dead gorgeous. But she had simply horrible luck with men. There were a couple of those assholes whose asses I wanted to kick, personally and with great enthusiasm. I know that she and Charlie had more than one conversion about why Tip couldn't find someone to love her like Charlie had."

"There is no doubt that we can be real assholes," Rick says, referring to men in general.

Todd chuckles softly. "Don't I know it. Anyway, I told Tip she needed to find an accountant or banker or someone like that. You know what she told me? Men like that wouldn't ask her out. They were intimidated by her, I guess. In any case, it was a constant round-robin of men in her life. At least she was strong enough to not let them abuse her. I wanted to introduce you to her, but Charlie was against that. I think she was afraid of what might happen if it didn't work out."

"Was she high maintenance? Could that have been part of the problem?" Rick asks, interested now.

"I don't know. I wouldn't think so. Giselle reminds me of her in so many ways. Soft spoken, quiet. Not demanding, you know? At least that's the way she was when she was around me." Todd picks up the glasses and turns toward the den. "I thought Charlie was past this, but I guess not. I know she felt guilty over Tip's death, like she failed her somehow." Todd stops before entering the den and looks to Rick. "Let's keep this conversation between us, okay?"

"What conversation?" Rick says with a smile.

Todd smiles back, nods once, and continues into the den. He hands a glass to Giselle, then the other to Charlie. "You okay?" he asks Charlie before kissing her on top of the head.

"Yes, I'm fine," Charlie says, sounding almost normal. She then looks at Rick. "Rick, I'm sorry. I had no right to ask what I did. Please forgive me and forget I said anything."

"No, no. I gave you my word. Giselle and I will talk about it. But you won't hold it against me if I turn you down?"

"No. I would never do that," Charlie says with a small laugh. "I'm just glad you aren't mad at me for being such a pushy bitch."

Rick laughs. "Charlie," he says, drawing her name out. "Half the decisions in my life you made for me. Where would I be if you were any other way?" He gives her an evil smile and then turns to Giselle. "Would you like to know the first thing Charlie said to me after you met them?"

"Rick Chamfer! Don't you dare!" Charlie says loudly.

Rick continues on as if he hadn't heard. "We hadn't even gotten in the car yet before Charlie pings me and says, 'If you let this one get away, I'll kick you right in the balls.' What could I do? I had to marry you then."

Giselle looks at Charlie quizzically.

"What can I say? I liked you," Charlie says, blushing furiously.

Rick continues to look at Giselle until her attention comes back to him. "First and last time Charlie offered any unsolicited advice on my love life." Rick pauses for a moment then continues, "Best advice I ever received."

Giselle continues to gaze at Rick for a moment before saying loud enough for all to hear, "Smart woman, that Charlie Rose."

"I agree," Rick say just as loudly, still looking at Giselle, then after a pause continues, "Kind of pushy though." Rick looks to Charlie and, after staring at her solemnly for a moment, begins to laugh.

"And yet, you love me anyway," Charlie says with a slightly sad smile.

"That I do Charlie, that I do," Rick confirms.

The heavy mood finally broken, the four begin chatting about other things. No more is said about immersions, friends past, or any other subject that would darken the mood. After a time Rick says, "We need to go. Giselle and I have a few things to talk about."

"Okay," Todd says. "Thanks for coming for dinner. We enjoyed it."

"As did we," Giselle agrees. "Next weekend, our place?"

"Maybe," Charlie says. "One of my girls has a big shoot coming up late in the week, and I've had trouble with the photographer before, so I am going to along to... supervise. If that doesn't interfere, then I don't see a problem."

"Okay. We will plan on it but if something comes up, we can skip it. No problem."

"Sounds good."

"I'll let you know something tomorrow," Rick says to Charlie, talking about the immersion.

"Thank you, Rick. Whatever you decide is fine, okay?" Charlie says, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I know, Charlie."

With that, Rick and Giselle make their final goodbyes before stepping out to their car. Rick opens the passenger door of the Aston, waiting for Giselle to slip inside before closing it and walking around the car and dropping into the driver's seat.

"That was fun," he says, a hint of sarcasm in his voice as he starts the car.

"Be nice, Rick," Giselle scolds gently. "This is obviously important to Charlie. I had a good time anyway. Didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did," he admits, slipping the car in reverse and backing down the drive.

"Do you know what you are going to do?"

"What do you think I should do?"

"Oh, no... I told you, this has to be your decision and your decision alone. You do what you feel is right and I will stand with that decision one hundred percent."

He pilots the car through the neighborhood, thinking. "I have to admit, my first instinct is 'no effing way.' But then I wonder if Charlie isn't right. You said yourself that..." He trails off, then changes tactics. "Tell me something. When Charlie asked you what you would give to feel like you feel now, what did you mean?"

She answers his question with one of her own, "Did you know this Tip girl?"

"No. This was the first I've heard of it. Why?"

"Just wondering," she says, and then pauses a moment to gather her thoughts. "After I found Jonathan cheating on me, I was so hurt. I couldn't understand why he'd do that to me. I loved him, and I'd have never done something like that to him." She pauses, the memories still painful. "After we broke up he didn't say anything nasty to me, but he didn't have to. I wondered what was wrong with me, what'd I done to deserve this. I couldn't understand it and I felt so... alone. Unloved. I don't know. I just know I was so depressed. I never thought of killing myself, but I can see how, if that happens time after time, you might get to that point. Anyway, I can see how capturing the feeling of love, even if it was only in an immersion... yeah, I can see the appeal in that. It can't possibly be as good as the real thing, but on a sinking ship, anything that floats becomes a life raft. Know what I mean?"

He's quiet as he turns the car onto the boulevard. It's only ten o'clock so there is plenty of traffic to contend with. "So, you think that when you were down, feeling low, you'd have drawn strength, comfort, whatever, from an immersion? Knowing the feelings were really someone else's?"

"I think so, yes. When you're hurting, to be able to get away from the pain, if only for a couple of hours... I don't know, but I can see the appeal in that."

"But, don't you think that would make it worse? Feeling so alone and abused and then feeling something that you think you'll never find. That seems like watching a guy stuff himself on steak when you're starving."

"Or, it could be like you having just eaten beans for dinner because that is all you have, but in an immersion, you enjoyed a steak dinner. In the end, you end up in the same place, but you substituted your dreary reality with a fantasy."

"Do you really think, deep down, that your immersion will affect people like that, that it will give them the hope to continue on, to give them a little happiness that they otherwise wouldn't have?"

"Honestly? I don't know. I can certainly see how it could. But then, what Charlie is suggesting will tell us that, won't it?"

He drives along in silence, thinking. He pulls the car off the boulevard and into their residential area. Rolling to stop at a light, he looks at her. She's staring out the front window, lost in her own thoughts. He stares at her until the light turns green, then he puts the car into first and pulls smartly away, his attention once again on his driving.

Rick wrestles on the horns of his dilemma. He wants to help women, if he can. What man wouldn't? If a kind word or gesture makes someone feel better about themselves, he'll do it without a second's thought. Is this really any different? In the abstract, no, it isn't—but it's so personal he isn't comfortable opening himself up like that to a stranger. On the other hand, they won't know him, as Charlie said, 'from Tom's house cat,' so is he really opening himself up at all? He's so deep in thought he nearly drives past their road, forcing him to brake and turn with much more aggression than normal.

Rick feels Giselle looking at him, startled. "Sorry. Not paying attention."

"So I see," she says, knowing he is wrestling with his conscience.

A few minutes later he pulls the Aston into its bay in the garage and kills the engine, but makes no move to open the door. She doesn't either. "Okay," he says finally. "Let's do it. I'll send Charlie a couple of one time use links tomorrow, so it can't get out of hand."

She looks at him impassively, her face giving nothing away. "Are you sure, Rick? Are you really sure? Don't do this for Charlie. Don't do it for me. Do it only if you think it is right. You have to promise me, here and now, that you're not doing this for me, because if I even think you are, I'll pull the plug myself. Understand?"

Rick stares at her for a long time before he speaks. "To be honest, I don't know why I'm doing it, but I promise you I'm not doing it solely because I think you want me to." She starts to speak but he holds up his hand, silencing her. "What I mean is, I trust your judgment. Charlie's too. Charlie thinks this is important. I get the feeling you do as well. I... I don't want to stand in the way of something important, if you know what I mean."

She looks at him, really looks at him, trying to determine his feelings. She places a hand gently on his cheek. "You're a really sweet man, a good man, did you know that?"

He puts his hand over hers. "If I am, it's because you make me this way."

They sit, looking into each other's eyes for several long moments, until she pulls her hand back. "Come on. I have something I need you to help me with," she says, her smile and the look in her eyes saying far more than her words ever could.

***

As soon as the door closes behind Rick and Giselle, Charlie sags. "I hope I didn't fuck up," she says glumly.

Todd takes her into his arms. "Shhh," he says quietly, "Rick understands. It's fine. Don't worry about it."

"I hope you're right," she says, her head on his shoulder. "I didn't intend to browbeat him about this. It just slipped out." He says nothing as he holds her tight. "Do you think I should ping him a little later to apologize and tell him never mind?"

"No. I think you should leave it as is and see what happens. I'm pretty sure he isn't mad. You just need to let him decide what he wants to do." He stands her up so he can look into her eyes. "You've pleaded your case. Now the rest is up to him and Giselle."

"I suppose you are right," she says quietly. "I hate it when I get all bitchy like that. I don't know why I do it."

"Because, my love, you believe in what you believe in," he says matter-of-factly. "If it makes you feel any better, the only time you really got bitchy is when Rick called the immersion porn. I happen to agree with you. I don't know what you'd call it, but pornography it's not."

She blows out a puff of air, trying to release her tension. "Thanks," she says, reaching into the cabinet for a clean wine glass. "I don't know if that excuses my behavior though."

Todd gently takes the glass from her hand and puts it back in the cabinet. "You've had enough of that. It won't change anything, and it'll make you feel like shit in the morning. Why do that to yourself? Just relax. Everything is fine. Trust me, okay?"

She glares at him for a moment before softening. "You're right."

"Look, why don't you go hop in the shower? Take a nice long hot shower and unwind. I'll clean up these few glasses and, if you are still all keyed up, we can talk about it some more."

Charlie sighs and turns away. "That sounds like a good idea." She takes three steps to their bedroom, but then comes back and kisses him lightly on the lips. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For taking care of me. Just for being you," she replies before turning and walking down the hall to their bedroom.

He quickly washes, dries, and puts away the two wine glasses, making the kitchen tidy and ready for the morning. As he walks down the hall, he can hear the water running in the shower. He briefly considers joining her but decides that now is not the time. She's probably feeling vulnerable and he doesn't want to push her into sex. Though he is typically the pursuer, tonight he will let her come to him if she wants to be intimate. While she stands in the shower, not washing, just letting the water cascade off her body, he swishes his mouth clean and depilates his face.

Todd is already in bed when the water shuts off and he listens to the flap and pop of a towel in use as Charlie dries herself. Moments later she emerges from the bath dressed in a low-cut sleeping gown that, though it almost touches her knee, it is slit in several places to well above the thigh, making it far racier than it first appears. She quickly crawls into the bed and immediately cuddles up to him, her back warming against him as she shivers slightly.

"The water got cold," she says as a hard shiver racks her. He doesn't say anything, but tucks the covers in around her more tightly, warming her with his body heat. As she warms, he can feel her begin to relax in his arms. "That's better," she sighs as one last shiver passes through her.

"Yes it is. It was like hugging a frog before," he says quietly, smiling at her soft giggle.

She is gripped by an enormous yawn, "Goodness! Suddenly I'm so sleepy."

He pulls her in a little closer. She wiggles a bit, getting more comfortable, and he knows it won't be long before she drops off into sleep. He won't be able to hold her like this long—he can already feel his arm under her head becoming numb—but he will hold her close and tight until she falls asleep if it kills him.