All Comments on 'The Real Deal Ch. 01'

The only thing I see different for Angela was she got caught, yet, she goes from sucking the guys cock to calling him an animal after being caught. I didnt see the cause for the change.

Good for Terry. Get rid of garbage. Love can withstand just so much. The slut didn't love him [made fun of him] but then suddenly decides he's all she loves, after being caught. Ha.

However, the author is a dumb shit concerning cocks. First 10" is about 1 in 5,000 and 3-1/2" around is slightly more than 1" diameter and that small is very rare. Typically the diameter is almost 1-3/4" and the length is 6" to 6-1/2". Since the bending is a fuction of moment of inertia and length, it would be about 8 times more bendable than the average cock. He would have to use both hands to put it in or it would bend double.

Further, most vaginas will only streach to about 8" so it would not all enter and every time he withdrew much and tried to poke it back in, it would likely bend too much. Trying to fuck with such a cock would be nightmare.

However, it you can get by the silly cock size, the story is worth at least 75. The rating I am giving it.

Apparently all ex-SEALS (they are no longer all in the Navy) become wealthy in civilian life and are life long buddies with all other rich ex-military. Also, they apparently all assume a meek and mild persona and are regarded as wimps by their slut wives. Oh well.

Rob that was great the Seal piece was great Terrance should have caved in johns balls and then so his dick falls off i think after some therapy they should make a come back and i think she wont screw this chance up again

so give them another chance i also think terrance should get back at John thru johns girlfriend or was she his wife?

lets see the next chapter ok.

Pat Murray

Atlanta,Ga

Numerous grammatical errors, syntactic blunders and typos make this opening chapter hard to read. It's poorly written. The author's penchant for screaming at his readers by using capitals is very annoying. An editor would've improved the quality of the prose.

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The characters were laughably shallow. Terry's an engineering genius who got filthy rich after a supersecret career in the SEALs and has plenty of rich SEAL buddies who kick ass at a moment's notice for Truth, Justice and the SEAL Way. Give me a break. This guy would be make fine fodder for a really bad Hollywood movie.

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Angelia is the prototype bored housewife who just happens to find Mr. Superstud and without any worries at all about jeopardizing her lifestyle or her marriage decides that she's just gotta have than big ol' ten inch long dick. Well, at least the author only needed a ten inch cock to make his story erotic. Heh.

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The playout of the story is every macho man's fantasy. He kicks some ass, tosses her cheatin' butt to the curb, and eats plenty of apple pie while making sure to cash in on some more lucrative business deals. Awful.

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I don't think I'll bother with the remaining chapters as this chapter is truly awful.

Love most of your stuff Rob. Please write something new soon. Definitely looking forward to it. No wimps please. Glenn in NC

you make me sick as a writer don;t ever call someone else's stories down when you write this crap. FEEL SORRY FOR HER GIVE HER MONEY AND A BIG JOB, that's some punishment.

champion and great Navy SEAL. I kept those things from you while you and I were together. Now take all these rewards for being a good adulterous whore and run along and have a good life knowing I love you.

Things such as "where he washed he face with a cool cloth" should not be allowed in the final draft.

The curse of the mystic kung-fu and ultra military training strikes again! With a splash of a surprise 1/3 corporate ownership thrown in for good measure! Hey fans, can the bad cliche list get any bigger? Lets tune in to episode 2, and find out if this 6 year old tale of predictable surprises and preordained woe holds any other shocking revelations!

"10 inches long and about 3 1/2 inches around." No human without severe genetic deficts has a 10" dick. And, 3.5 inches around is 1.1" in diameter. That is 1/2" smaller in diameter than average. Such a long very slender dick would not function. At that length and diameter, it would be to flexible to fuck with. And, if he means 3.5" in diameter than that is impossible for a human. The maximum recorded diameter for a human is slightly over 2". Even a horse would not be 3.5".

Writing anything that stupid does not deserve a rating greater than 1 regardless of if the balance of the story has merit.

to the prceeding comment. I'm not deformed, but do have 11 1/2 inches. Measured often by my wife. Sorry you don't. As for the story, I am liking it very much. The writing is above average and I gave it a four.

"And what had she done? SHE CHEATED ON HIM, SHE LIED TO HIM, BOUGHT PRESENTS FOR ANOTHER MAN WITH HIS MONEY, LAUGHED AND JOKED ABOUT HIM AS A MAN. CUT HIM OFF FROM SEX. LET ANOTHER MAN DO THINGS TO HER SEXUALLY THAT SHE WOULD’T LET HIM DO!

She was a SLUT!

She didn’t deserve him!"

This reads more like "Remo Williams and the Fucker who Seduced His Wife" than real life. Zomg! Instant remorse! Several sidekicks to the head! Black belt at 15, kickboxing champ at 18, and a Navy SEAL! And rich, too, really really rich! And so nice he decides to bypass the prenup safeguarding his tons and tons of money! This feels more like an exercise in mental masturbation than any form of attempt at a credible story. Superguy with money and a heart of gold! What's next, maybe a one-man invasion of some terrorist safe house where he liberates some barely-legal sex goddess (with, of course, 36D tits which defy gravity) who goes on to show up his ex-wife with seemingly-coincidental public displays of look-what-you-had-and-threw-away?

I read a little of this, and then skimmed to the end. You should probably stop writing stories. On a separate note, why do all of the husbands in these stories have unlimited resources? Must be nice...

In this down economy it seems that if you join the navy and become a SEAL then you will automatically become a millionaire. At least according to this and other stories you've written.

Also why does he go from "get out of my house you cheating whore" to "maybe we will get back together sometime in the future" it makes no sense. Yes he still loves her and I'm sure he could get over her cheating he could even get used to his dick not even touching the sides of her pussy and busted ass but you could never get over the disrespect that she showed in his bed while she was fucking her stud.

I stopped reading at this point " Terrance looked at her. He didn’t want to feel sorry for her. He wanted to hate her. Make her feel as bad as he did.

But he loved her too hard and too long. He hated to see her cry. Terrance reached down and picked her up from the floor."

Forget the grammatical error this is pure shit. Wimp. A navy seal cant be like this.

He caught her and he threw her out. Let's see how this continues...

I'm a bit confused as to why they might reunite? She's been having an affair for months, she's been using his money to pay for dick, she disrespected & belittled her husband, she did things with her lover that she has refused to do with her husband -- whom she professes to have LOVED , she cut her husband off; So why the hell would they reunite? She has become obsessed with a bigger dick I really don't see her going back to her husband penis or lack there of.. Something's just can't be forgiven, I don't care how long or how much you love a person-- lack of respect & trust is hard to regain once lost, the fact that she thought he was so inept & dense let me know that she'll do it again but be more careful. Sometimes when you love a person --love just isn't enough. The fact that she just realized what she had thrown away after she was caught says that in her mind her husband was a non-factor, she forgot she was married. What I don't understand is why would she cheat on her husband whom she claims loved her so much? Like I said love isn't enough, love didn't stop her from cheating, the disrespect & the lies. I think the best thing to do is get rid of the skank before she brings him home AIDS... All that glitters ain't gold. She loves big dicks now.

The SEAL them,e does get tired - even if you keep the MA idea - my son was a national champion as was my daughter and ex wife so that is not nearly the stretch that every SEAL gets cheated on and beats up the unsuspecting asshole since he is such a nice mild mannered guy that no one thinks he is a risk heh.

it starts out good but he turns into a fucking cuck at the end.

Did he have to be a Seal? I can live with the kickboxing, but why does every cuckolded husband seem to be a Seal in these stories? And wouldn't a Seal just do like he said? Chop her up into little pieces and feed her to the fishes? Oh well, maybe you can redeem yourself in the next chapter. This one wasn't very original.

In real life, it is not likely that he would be a SEAL or a millionaire or own 1/3 of the company his wife works in and her not know about that....

Almost 25% of your story went in WARNINGS and DISCLAIMERS and other nonsense.... Don't read if you're 18. This is an adult theme. Its a work of fiction, yidda yadda....

Get writing a REAL story. The story you have written is GOOD. Let no one tell you OTHERWISE. But too many Deus Ex Machina.... Navy Seal? And Black belt? In multiple styles? And kickboxing champ? what next...Beat Chuck Norris?

Enjoy your story. And write for yourself. You seem to be writing to please the readers over here. That'll never do. If YOU enjoy your story, others will.

of the story, but I will read on. I agree with lance_spearman.

Fucking cunt. Did she really expect him to stay with her? Although I've read the series before I don't remember. Because there aren't many good tales coming out lately I'm looking over old stuff. So I'll continue...

When all you really need to take out a naked guy who's just blown his load is a mail order TASER.

"And when he pulled out his cock it was a good 10 inches long and about 3 1/2 inches around."

Alright authors, listen up. Please, if you are going to use numbers, understand basic math first. Do any of you understand the difference between circumference and diameter? For example, a cock 3 1/2" around would be slightly over an inch THICK. Divide 3.5 by pi and what do you have? Oh, pi is 3.1415. This guy would have a fucking cock the size of a garden snake. Long and unbelievably skinny.

So if you want a cock to be as thick as mine, 6 1/2" in CIRCUMFERENCE, that makes it a little over 2" thick. Know your basic fucking terms. Not just this author, but many or even most, make this simple mistake. BTW, 3 1/2" in diameter would be the size of a beer can, more or less.

Don't even need a Taser, a Louisville slugger works just fine.

Remember this motto: "The only dirty fight is one I lose."

Thanks for the offering.

and now its channel changing time. TK U MLJ LV NV

after "various black belts," "national champion," Navy SEAL," etc. Didn't wifey know this so she could warn her lovers? Did not rate. (I might come back to this at a future date, but, for now, I have no interest.)

Oh, and look at the tags! Come on authors! This is what happens when you fail to give Lit. at least one tag.

This might be better placed in Humor and Satire as the husband seems to be a parody of the standardized BTB story hubby.

And cheater cunts don't drop to their knees and beg. Cheater cunts do what they do best, cheat and hurt everyone else around them.

He had better not take the bored-out disease infested cunt back.

I know I could get over what I just saw - and I'm normally a wimp. I'll keep just enough of an open mind to allow the author to convince me RAAC is appropriate. Wife seemed to be fairly calm for what she just got caught doing.

Tags sucked. I won't be able to find this story in the future.

“I am a whore! A no good useless piece of pussy!” she cried.

It reads like satire, but the author is serious. Unreadable.

What are you? 12?

In real life Terrance gets a divorce from Angela and fires John Bright and Susan, and sees to it that Angela is transferred to another location. Better than one out two marriages end in divorce. Reconciliations? Only in fiction.

The writting does not come across as something from someone who is writing this with feeling. It is cold, mechanical and appears that English is not the author's first language.

2* because of the manner in which this was written. It could be 4 if written by a human.

You write about supermen with tiny dicks that marry size queen whores.

Interesting once, maybe as a weird fantasy but not over and over.

While 10 inches long is something

3 1/2 inches AROUND IS NOT! I am guessing you meant that measurement as width because ''around'' means circumference and that would mean a diameter of just a little over an inch...which would make it on the very thin side

Your prologue stated this story is ''probably what would happen in real life''

Shirley you jested

But then perhaps hero did rule the martial arts would while potty training.

Me, myself, and I had eight black belts before I turned twenty-then I switched to suspenders

A man skilled as hell m should have taken these guys out early on.

Except for a few 12 year old readers that enjoyed and want more I agree with those readers that found the meek mild husband’s secret life as an ex-SEAL, secretly rich, with rich ex-SEAL friends and owns 33+% of wife’s employer company absurdly unbelievable!

I wrote this in my last comments- “buy a believable plot, get an editor and develop believable characters!”

Not really believable for me due to rich super man Seal protagonist, super slut wife, and snake dicked affair partner. But I never down vote a story where an arrogant cheating partner gets his ass kicked.

Fucked up, got caught, its over, Acceptance, TK U MLJ LV NV

3 stars not believable but is story cheaters caught and slightly punished

Been through it all Darby's Rangers ace pilots green berets Recon seals

Etc

Capitalized should show my branch

I can deal with them all didn't I grow up with the shadow knows

...if taken as a parody on the clichés and exaggerations of Loving Wives stories.

Also liked the straightforward writing style.

5 stars.

Paul in Oklahoma

I have to assume this is satirical.

It's a bit comical. He's trying to be both a badass and a wuss at the same time, and that makes for funny reading. Like, why give her money for the appraised value of her rings? Taking them back is symbolic as well as to preserve his family heirlooms. Paying her off for them marginalises the action.

For some reason, LW authors often lack rudimentary knowledge of anatomy and sex. For example: "And when he pulled out his cock it was a good 10 inches long and about 3 1/2 inches around." This, hilariously, puts the allegedly hung Mr. Bright in the 99.999 percentile in length, while measuring as a micropenis in circumference. In other words, his penis resembles a breadstick, which is an hilarious image. Notwithstanding this 3.5" in circumference micropenis, the hapless LW husband notices that the slut is all stretched out when they have sex. Again, this is idiocy. Vaginas, even when penetrated by something large, do not become permanently stretched out, or even stretched out for a long period. In fact, it will basically return to normal in very little time. If, on the other hand, she has gotten a serious rogering, even with a very average penis, her vagina will be TIGHTER because it is swollen (and sore). The rest is formulaic and silly (martial arts, Seal, "friends", etc). What's worse, given this level of betrayal, the author writes the cuck as taking her back and thinks it is what would happen in "real life". When I read these stories I often have two thoughts - the author knows less about sex than he does about quantum mechanics, and he has been psychologically feminized.

Did you get enough cliches in?

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He watches "hours" of tape? Why? If his cock is so big that it permanently stretches her cunt, it's gonna rip her ass wide open.

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How "small" is his cock?

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Why is this three chapters?

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Of COURSE he's made off of patents; haven't we all?

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Changing accounts to other banks does nothing. If he hides assets that she IS entitled to, he's in legal trouble.

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Of COURSE he's a martial arts expert and/or a Navy SEAL. Every cheated on husband has to be. Oh, and friends that will kill for him.

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Can't have a good LW story without a slut friend who just HAS to make her friend into just as big a slut as she is, even though she was nothing but kind to her.

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“Twelve years over. Just like that? I never knew you could be this cold blooded.” - LOLOL, that's rich, coming from her.

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And of course the wife who is so full of herself, with zero respect for her husband, is suddenly prostrating herself at his feet.

So he was a black belt in several forms of martial arts before he was 15 and a National Kickboxing champion at 18 he's also a rich Navy SEAL who owns multiple companies who has friends who are also Navy SEAL Black Op assassins types who will kill for him . This guy sounds more unbelievable than Batman.

and a 10 inch dick that is 3 and a half inches around would put that bitch in the hospital. Vaginas are never permanently streched out. She goes to a whoring slut who cucked her small dicked husband to begging for his forgiveness in a matter of seconds. He goes from a Navy SEAL martial artist badass threatening to kill to some softee is matter of seconds it is totally unbelievable this sounds like shit written by some precocious teenager who has no idea how the real world works.

Continue to BTB!!!!!!!!!! She WILL again. You WILL be better off. Think of what she did every time u think u still love the cheating WHORE

I was liking it until I read "WHAT WILL HAPPEN? WILL TERRANCE AND ANGELA REUNITE?"

That makes this story look like just another start of an RAAC piece of crap. It's also well beyond ridiculous how precocious this guy really was-National champion at 18 with black belts in several disciplines, then a Navy Seal and still time to start and run his own business and become rich from numerous patents.

I love a good BTB. I am in that camp with both feet.

The author states that this is his "real world" take on things, and then sets about making it as unrealistic as anyone could possibly imagine.

Unassuming Mr Average, but has secret patents and offshore accounts, still leads a sedentary life.

Confronts the monster-dicked muscle bound adonis and suddenly he's a champion-level martial artist.

Let's the guy walk away after a mild beat-down, but says one wrong step and the asshole is a dead man. If not by him, by all his friends in low places.

You don't have those kinds of things in your history if you live a quiet life unless you're on the run, sort of like in the film "A History Of Violence". Even then, you don't have ALL of the traits attributed to the protagonist, not really possible.

Couldn't finish it. Sorry. Abstaining from voting though, because I didn't.

Better luck next time. If you're going to try and say this is realistic, then make it so. Too many cliches.

It took longer than it should have to realize this was satire and then it just seemed to go way overboard. The trick to good satire is to sneak it in, not beat you over the head with it.

1 star - violence always gets a single star rating - this story was a waste of time.

Mediocre at best. Bad at worst. 3 star and I’m being kind