All Comments on 'The Right Choice Ch. 01'

All I can say is.....DAMN! That was smokin! Two fine men want you, what is a girl to do? Damn.

I like your story, but it seemed rushed. It would have been helpful if you took the time to flesh out the characters a bit more and gave us insight into their feelings. What is Wes after? What is Ben after? How do they really feel about Toya? What do they look like? Those kind of things, instead of BAM, they meet, eat, and cum. There was also some word choices that you used that were suspect. Like when Ben's friends saw his "new facial feature"- what does that mean? Did he get a new nose? Describe the face to us. I can see the improvement in your writing from you previous efforts, but I think getting an editor or, if you're already using one, a second editor would help take this story to the next level.

I would like to read more of wes and toya, I think they would be good together.

with Anonymous in DC. You should give more background information on what Toya felt between both men while she was in high school and what she's feeling now and the emotions/reasons behind it (vindication, redemption, etc.), instead of having her jump in bed with both. Descriptions are helpful as well. Good idea for a plot, just add extra/essential details and you're story will greatly improve. Update soon.

i really hope you continue this story. i love the way it was written.

Two loves, one real-one curious. What does a woman do?

Surprise surprise Ben was a jerk

Please continue