All Comments on 'The Sitter Ch. 02'

by GriffRoark

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  • 5 Comments
Dark_StormDark_Stormover 9 years ago
Even more delicious

This just keeps getting better and better.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

The first reviewer simply meant that there were too many "..." and "-" constructs used. Personally I disagree, I hadn't noticed before I saw the comment.

Kale_82Kale_82over 10 years ago
Wonderful

The story is well thought out and the 2 characters each have a unique voice. Great 2nd chapter. And as a side, I don't know if you have a fastidious editor or what but you seem to have almost no typos, a welcome show of pride in your work.

For the next segment I can only see a shower or bath, possibly both (big bathroom). If you continue beyond that I would say start a new encounter. Maybe a few days or a week later. Maybe someplace interesting.

GriffRoarkGriffRoarkover 10 years agoAuthor
Explain?

Please explain what you mean, and its ironic that your grammar is so terrible....

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
eye strain

The eye strain almost causes a person to stop reading. All the frequent and over use of "word ... word," "word - word," etc. in some places are far more than the text. Forget this trash style of writting and use the proper standard grammar which for indicating a pause or break to improve things.

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