All Comments on 'The Story'

I fucked all of your friends abut do you still love me dear? Of course I do even more since I now know you're a bviog fucking whore!!! Let's set you up with the neighbnorhood, put out a sign on the front lawn and I'll watch you fuck evereyone in town. WHAT A BUNCH OF SHIT! I'm really sorry I read it. I was hoping the husband would go nuts and beat the shit out of her and his so calle friends.

The subject matter is interesting, a wife and husband opens up their marrage. I like how you made sure the reader knew they had both participated in the event, even though the details are somewhat vague.

now some of the technical stuff. Each snippet of conversation and it's associated tag line should be a seperate paragraph. This makes the conversation easier to follow as to who is saying what to whom. I think you could tell a tighter story using a third person narrator style than going first person. That way, you could easily insert thoughts from the wife's perspective.

I am not a grammer person, but there were a few areas where the sentences were short and fragmented, forcing me to re-read them to make sure I followed them.

Keep working on it. I liked the story overall. so I will be watching for others, besides the two you already have.

JimDinMN

Let her fuck anyone and everyone, that way she can show you how much she really loves you. And you can fuck her and share all the nice diseases she brings home for you. Always, safe, sane, consensual (in advance) sex.

im sorry to say that im a man if this is the way we treat our wives.im all for fun but that is out and out wrong.im all for good sex with my wife but show a little respect to females.i love sex but not at the expense of some one else,thankyou for letting me express my thoughts.i read alot of literotica so keep the stories coming.a faithful reader thanks

So I gave it a 1.

Perhaps that's why it's the weakest and least believable. It is a shame that you haven't written for so long.

A commenter makes a good point. If she's going to fuck other guys, why shouldn't hubby make a buck off it? She has no problem fucking other men, he obviously doesn't...may as well turn some cash from it, and while I wouldn't quite consider "whore" a worthy occupation, it does seem to me to be more honest an occupation than "slut".

Hope you're OK, write more. OldBearSwitch

Dawn left him a week later and his happy marriage ended. She left with one of the guys he played basketball with who wouldn't share her.

Stupid story. A hornet teenager wrote this story.

Willie, Tino, and Mike, what a group for a gangbang. First I've read of BBT anywhere.

And "no" to the marriage. She's a whore. With who knows how many diseases. Time to get a divorce and start over again.

1 star

If I knew a couple like that, I would pity the husband and despise the wife.

The next week, after returning from work, he walks into the house finding her on her back with three strangers making her airtight with a dozen more standing around waiting their turn. She is screaming more dick, fuck my ass and pussy harder. The next week she goes out and stays for a week before returning. After that she returns only long enough to grab some clothes before returning to all the guys she is fucking. Way to go hubby.