The Top Ten

This is a list of my ten most favourite women of all time. As I don't actually know any of these women personally, my opinion is based solely on their performances in movies and on TV.

I have listed each woman according to her most outstanding characteristic feature.

1) Most Sexy - Marilyn Monroe

Could there ever be any question on this one? MM was simply the sexiest woman ever. Every thing that she did in her movies, the way that she walked, talked, sang, danced, and smiled, was just pure sex. MM was the complete package, pretty face, fabulous body, cute voice, lovely smile, sexy walk, and sweet personality. And the fact that in the roles that she played she was usually a little naive, even innocent, just made her all the more sexy.

2) Most Sultry - Brigitte Bardot

A Sultry woman is like a hot humid summer's afternoon, when you just know that something is about to happen, and when it does, it will be spectacular!

There is only one possible contender for this category, and she is Brigitte Bardot. In fact I created this category specifically for her. I have never seen another woman who comes anywhere close to BB in sultriness. She reminds me of nothing less than a volcano that is about to explode!

Of course BB is sexy, but hers is a completely different kind of sexiness to that of Marilyn Monroe. MM's sexiness is overt, intentional, and in fact probably carefully orchestrated, whereas BB's sexiness is completely natural, almost accidental. This is well demonstrated in the movie 'And God Created Women'. In this movie, BB is a seventeen year old virgin. She's bored with life and restless, but she doesn't realise that what she really needs is a good fuck. But all of the men around her realise it, because of the (mostly unintentional) signals that she sends out.

3) Most Sensual - Bo Derek

I have always found it hard to identify exactly what it is about Bo Derek that appeals to me. She's not the best looking woman in the world, nor does she have a great body, but she has something, something that I can only describe as 'sensuality'. It's always there, and I'm sure that it is completely natural. Everything that she does, she does in a sensual way. This is best shown in the movie 'Bolero', where she plays an eighteen year old girl who sets out to lose her virginity. But she doesn't just jump into the sack with the first guy who comes along, she seeks out a very special man to take her 'gift' as she calls it. And the girl that she portrays is not sweet and innocent, fighting her primitive urges, but she is aware of these urges and wants to respond to them. I think that is very difficult for a woman to act as a virgin when she is not one, but Bo does this very well.

4) Most Sassy - Barbara Eden

A sassy woman is always ready for sex. She always enjoys sex, and she makes sure that her partner does too. She is a flirt and a tease, but she delivers on her promises. She is adventurous and will try almost anything. Most of all she knows that sex should be FUN.

Barbara Eden, especially in her role in 'I Dream of Jeannie', is a great example of a sassy woman. Of course the harem costume helped too. Major Nelson must have been completely gay not to take Jeannie to bed as soon as he met her.

5) Most Classy - Amanda Holden

I have not included a category of 'sophisticated' here, as in my experience most so-called sophisticated women are bitches. While this type of women may appeal to some men, they do nothing for me. So a 'classy' woman is sophisticated, but she is not a bitch. Getting her into bed would be a real challenge, but the results would be well worth the effort.

The English actress Amanda Holden is my favourite 'classy' lady. Her best role I think is in the movie version of Agatha Christie's story 'The 4:50 from Paddington'. In this role, she takes a job as a housekeeper with a wealthy family so that she can investigate a murder. But even though she is pretending to be a servant, she does so with class. And she also fends off the amorous advances of several men with grace and style.

6) Most Beautiful - Barbara Bach

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, they say, and so this is the most controversial category of all. My personal choice is Barbara Bach. I was completely smitten by her in the James Bond movie 'The Spy Who Loved Me.'

7) Most Lovely - Senta Berger

A woman whom I would describe as 'lovely' has many attributes from these other categories. She is pretty, of course, and she has a nice personality. But she is mainly a good person, kind, considerate, capable, and caring. In other words, she is the woman that we would all like to marry.

The loveliest woman that I have ever seen in the movies is the Austrian actress Senta Berger. Her movie work is not well known, as most of her movies were made in Europe, but she did make a few movies in the US in the early 1960's. I particularly remember her as the girlfriend of Johann Strauss Jr. in the Disney movie 'The Waltz King', which was the story of Strauss' life.

8) Most Sweet - Kimberley Davies

Kimberley Davies is a beautiful Australian actress who had a role in a short-lived US soapie, called I think 'Pacific Palisades'. In this soapie, she played the role of a sexy bombshell. In reality Kimberly is not like that at all. She is shy, and a little lacking in self-confidence. She is the sort of woman that you want to hold close and protect her from the nastiness of the world.

9) Most Cute - Reese Witherspoon

A 'cute' girl is sort of a younger version of a sweet woman. But 'cute' is a little more than this. A cute girl has the attributes that only girls possess, and that seem to fade from women as they get older. Young men would like her to be their first girlfriend, and older men would like her to be their daughter.

Reese Witherspoon is my favourite 'cute' girl. I just love her in all of her movies that I have seen.

10) The Hottest - Pamela Anderson

I've saved this category for last.

A 'hot' woman is, of course, the one that we would most like to spend the night with and have no-strings-attached don't-bother-to call-me-in-the-morning sex. There are plenty of contenders for this title, but Pamela Anderson, when she was in 'Baywatch', is my choice.

So this then is my list. I expect to receive many emails from irate readers telling me that I have got it all wrong. I look forward to these, and if your reasons are good enough, then you might just convince me.