All Comments on 'The Trials of Pauline Ch. 05'

I think your story has great potential, perhaps just too short to do it justice.

I don't mind a change of point of views, but I felt you did it at the wrong moment when you switched from Rita to Polly towards the end.

You did let me into thier heads, but not enough to let me know what is driving them beyond horny school girls who found themselves in a strange situation that was getting stranger by the minute, and liking it.

This was the first chapter I've read in this series, so maybe a paragraph in there to tell me where it has been would have been nice eg. relationship between the girls etc

Good contribution, and I look forward to seeing more of your work.