There Must Be a Mistake Ch. 06

3. You don't trust me when I am near a boy.

4. You don't trust me when a boy is near me.

5. You don't like me because my IQ is higher than yours.

6. You don't like me because I make you get up early in the day.

7. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't he talking to women.

8. If it weren't for me you wouldn't be getting married.

9. If it weren't for me, we wouldn't be excited about building a spaceship, and all the new patents that will come along with it.

Is that enough for today, or should I continue?"

"May I respond to your shortlist?"

"Do you want me to write them down so your dementia ridden mind can remember them?"

"No, I believe I can do it by myself.

Question 1, you are correct.

Question 2, you are correct.

Question 3, you are correct.

Question 4, you are correct.

Question 5, you are incorrect.

Question 6, you are incorrect.

Question 7, you are correct.

Question 8, you are incorrect.

Question 9, you are correct.

Out of nine questions, you have three incorrect answers. You are back at your high school level. Your grade is 66 2/3. You have failed the test."

"I demand a recount, because as always you are lying. I would like you to act as an impartial observer Rod. He said that question number five is incorrect. He doesn't like me because my IQ is higher than his. You know everything about my father. What is his IQ?"

"She has you Even. I have to tell her. Your father's IQ is 207."

"You bastard.

"That will be $10 please."

"We tied, that's not fair."

"It is fair. You said your IQ was higher than mine. It is not; it is equal to mine."

"I don't like you dad."

"Doesn't that word have a nice ring to it Delicious?"

"I hope Jennifer puts that ring through your nose."

"Jennifer committed a misdemeanor, and I promised to spank her because of it. You are very close to that line again. I will spank you again right now if you wish."

"Oh shit."

"That will be $20 please."

"If you keep this up, I'm going to need a raise."

"If you keep this up, I'm going to wash your mouth out with soap."

"Can we get something to eat, please? I would like to put something in my mouth besides my foot."

Rod laughed. "It is nice to see you in trouble with him instead of me. What would you like to eat?"

"There is a Japanese restaurant across the street."

I started laughing. Suddenly I was in pain, she kicked my ankle again. I would be limping as I crossed the street, only to laugh when Rod received the bill.

25. Dinner With A Twist

It was a different woman who launched herself at me and into my arms this time, and shouted my name, "Even."

Jennifer and I wound up in an embrace several feet from the exit of the elevator, where I was waiting for her. She wasn't late, but she was pushing the words "on time" very closely.

I refused to let her go, and she wasn't going anywhere either.

Rod stuck his head close to ours and asked, "Would you two like a room?"

Jennifer said, "Yes." I said, "Dammit, No."

Jennifer looked at me with love in her eyes. "Sir, I hope your insurance is paid up, because you may not live through Sunday night."

"Madam, I walked 40 miles to get to your house. I will survive not only Sunday night, but many Sunday nights for years to come."

"If you two could break apart now; you are the guests of honor, and there is a room full of people waiting for you to make your entrance."

"Rod sometimes you are a pain in the ass."

"Even, if you had started dating when you were 16 instead of 33, it wouldn't be so hard for you to put your young lady on her own two feet and let her walk."

"I didn't realize I was holding her off the floor. I thought she grew."

Jennifer smacked me on my shoulder, and giggled as I let her stand beside me.

"Is there a protocol on which side Jennifer is supposed to be on?"

"If she is going to run the family, she is on the right. If you are going to run the family you are on the right."

"Jennifer you would you stand on my right please."

"Even, you are very smart man."

"Have you ever doubted that Rod?"

Rod walked in to the room to announce our arrival. When he did, I wanted to kill him again.

"Ladies, gentlemen, and honored guests, it only took Jennifer six hours to do it but she finally succeeded. After all these hours of training, they have finally made it here, and my good friend Even Luck knows where her breasts are."

The room exploded with laughter and so did Jennifer. For you in the field of science, and who have known him for these many years, you must already realize what a giant leap this is for Doctor Luck. He has never been able to speak to a woman, no less look below her neck to see what was there. So, without further ado, here they are Jennifer Stars and the newly enlightened, Doctor Even Luck."

I don't know what you call 13 musicians, an orchestra, or a band, but they started playing as we walked in. There was a combination of laughter and applause. As I closed in on Rod in the center of the dance floor I tried to pull my hand away from Jennifer. She would not let me go.

"I was only going to kill him once."

"Do it on your own time, this is our time."

Rod handed me the microphone and told me to say a few words to the guests.

I decided I would kill him twice. He knew I hated to speak in public.

I looked at the area where my colleagues were sitting, and decided to have some fun with them.

"Fellow members of the scientific community, I want to set the record straight for my friend Rod Laver, and some of you who have not gotten to know me yet. I have always known that females had breasts. I just thought they were on the other side."

If any of you thought scientists were a staid group of men and women, who wore thick glasses and pocket protectors, you would not believe it tonight. Their reaction to my little joke drew catcalls, hoots, hollars, and screams of laughter worthy of any great standup comedian. It brought the house down, as they say.

Rod was so caught off guard by the humor he didn't think I had in me; he was lying on the floor laughing, applauding, and crying at the same time.

The orchestra/band started playing, "Someone To Watch Over Me." Jennifer took my hands and said, "Dance with me."

"I don't know how."

"It's very easy. Hold me close, and move your body with mine."

I held her tight, and prayed she had feet left when the song finished. I moved around the floor following her lead. As our bodies rubbed against each other, a small problem excitedly became a very large problem.

Jennifer looked up into my eyes, and asked, "Would you like to change your mind about getting a room?"

"I would love to, but I promised God and you that I would wait until after we were married. I will not break that vow."

"Even Luck, I adore you."

"Jennifer Stars, you can say whatever you like, I am still going to spank you."

"Meany!"

Oh was I in love. We continued swaying back and forth, until I saw a handsome young man, from the science side of the room, approach my daughter. I was about to break off the dance, and rescue her from the male of the species, but Jennifer would not let me go. She saw the same thing I did.

"Leave her alone, daddy."

"But..."

"If you let go of my arms, I am going to kick you in the butt. She is in a room with 169 other people. He is not going to do anything untoward to her. They are only going to dance"

"How little you know about men. Dancing leads to dating. Dating leads to cuddling, and cuddling leads to the loss of her virginity. I will not allow that happen."

"When will you allow that to happen to a young lady in the prime of growing up, and her hormones raging?"

"40 sounds like a good number to me."

"Even you are a scientist, and you know more about everything than any man I have ever met. What is the average age of a girl losing her virginity?"

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that you may kill me before our wedding."

"Darling if you don't answer my question there will be no wedding."

"You wouldn't do that to us. We love each other too much to be apart."

"I have lived without a man in my life since I was 19 years old, and became pregnant. I will be hurt, but I will survive."

"16 years, 4 months and 23 days; 16 percent become pregnant. 42 percent get abortions, 36 percent have their babies and keep them, and 22 percent put them up for adoption, both legal and illegal."

"Is there anything you do not know?"

"Yes, I didn't know if you are serious about leaving me. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you."

"I would rather lose both arms, than leave you, Even. It was the best threat I could come up with at the time."

"I was very frightened I could lose you. However, you deserve another spanking for scaring me to death."

"Look Even they are dancing, they are not screwing on the dance floor; isn't that wonderful."

"You distracted me. That was unfair."

"It is a normal female tactic. A man can rarely do two things at one time with a woman in his arms."

"I will remember that for the next time. Did you know Gordon has a photographic memory?"

"No, I just thought he was very smart for his age. How do you know?"

"Delicious tested him. She called him a sponge. You tell him or show him something, and he can repeat it back to you verbatim. That's how she found out I was her father. Gordon repeated the entire story I told you while I was working on Michael. He asked her why she was calling me Uncle Even, when I was her father.

"I bet that knocked her socks off."

"There's a funny part of it too. Delicious went through the whole process from intercourse through producing a baby to explain to him how I was her uncle. She said to him you will understand it as you get older."

Gordon replied, "I understood that since I was two. I think that is what convinced Delicious he was photographic."

"Oh my God, I used to take baths with him. He could probably tell you exactly what I look like."

I moved away from her by a few inches and started to say 'Gor...' when she slapped her hand over my mouth.

"You wouldn't dare."

"You threatened to leave me. Don't tell me what I wouldn't dare to do."

"I'm beginning to understand why Delicious says she doesn't like you so often. I'm beginning not to like you."

"You don't have to like me, as long as you love me." I pulled her closer and kissed her.

Unbeknownst to me the music had stopped. The people around us stopped dancing, looked at us, and started applauding.

Jennifer turned a bright pink as she blushed. I put my head against hers, and told her it would always be like this for us.

Delicious and the young man she was dancing with came over to us, and pulled us apart. "Hey you two, cut it out. Dinner is ready to be served, and everything is getting cold because of this hideous display of public intimacy."

"I took her hand and said, "Young lady you and I have to talk."

"Dad before you chop my head off for dancing, 'WITH A MAN,' I would like to introduce Doctor Grayson Thyme, of the Johnson Space Flight Center, in Houston."

I looked at this 'TEENAGER' and knew he had to be lying. He could not be 20 years old. I took an instant dislike to the man, because he was trying to get into my baby's pants.

I shook his hand and asked, "How are things at the International Space Station going?"

"I have no idea Doctor Luck. I'm working on Orion, the manned mission to Mars. Right now we are three years behind schedule because we don't have a rocket with enough power to get it into an earth orbit high enough to slingshot it to a Mars trajectory. Even the Russians don't have a rocket powerful enough to do it. If we don't overcome that problem, every dollar we are putting into the capsule will be wasted."

"Did Delicious tell you about the project we are undertaking?"

"No, I didn't know if she would understand the simple things I was talking to her about."

I grabbed her before she could hit him.

"Doctor, do not ever make that mistake again, or you will be getting up off the floor, possibly missing a mouthful of teeth. Delicious has an IQ of 207."

"207 shit that's higher than mine. Where was she tested?"

"She was tested by a government agency twice. You don't have to know their name."

"Oh them, they tested me also. They told me I didn't fit in to their plans."

"They told Delicious the same thing. It was great news for us, because we are about to start on a project that will take us to the stars, not just to Mars. We are funding it privately. She will be developing the propulsion system, without using hydrogen and oxygen. I will be making the design prototype. And a four-year-old boy will be doing most of the math involved. Don't just look at the package the next time. Believe in the product that comes out of it."

"What type of propulsion system are you going to use?"

Delicious smiled when he gave her that opening. "I'm sorry Doctor it is so far over your head, I am afraid you wouldn't understand it."

Doctor Thyme dropped his head, and laughed. "I guess I deserved that one, didn't I."

"It gave me great pleasure to do that to you. It means I won't have to hit you at some later date for insulting me."

"Listen people, we are standing in the middle of the dance floor drawing attention to ourselves. Soon half of the scientists in this room will be standing next to us to trying to find out what we are talking about. If you want to continue this discussion, we will do it Monday, if I am alive." (Dammit, I forgot to duck.)

Doctor Thyme and Delicious both laughed, I just looked at Jennifer and rubbed the back of my head.

"I will get you for that."

"Are we getting a room, or are we waiting until Sunday?"

"I am beginning not to like you. I love you, but I am beginning not to like you."

"Delicious does he always repeat himself after he gets hit?"

"Why don't you hit him again and find out."

"Baby girl do you remember what happened to you in front of the clothing store? It could be repeated on the dance floor."

"No thank you; my ass has not recovered from the first spanking."

"Thank you very much, that will be $10 please."

"I hate it when you do that to me."

"I love it when I do that to you. Doctor Thyme would you escort my daughter to her seat please before she cannot sit down."

"I thought she was your niece?"

"It's a long story Doctor, and I just found out about it two days ago. I haven't seen the proof yet, but my lawyer has and he assures me that it's true. I would like you to keep it under your hat until I verify everything."

"Miss Delicious, I would like to reserve the first dance after dinner, and the second and the third. Actually I would like to reserve all of them for the rest of the evening."

I was about to say, "NO" when I was hit in the back of the head by two hands simultaneously.

Jennifer replied, "Doctor she accepts."

Delicious had a smile on her face that could have lit up the room. I turned to my fiancée and growled.

She in turn took me into her arms and kissed me until I could not remember why I was angry.

When I came out of my stupor, Delicious was seated at our table, and Doctor Thyme was talking to other scientists.

Jennifer said, "Come on lover, it's time to eat."

"What happened that am I forgetting."

"If the famous Doctor Even Luck has forgotten something, it could not be important."

"You're right, let's have dinner."

As we approached our table Delicious had a worried look on her face. It disappeared into a smile. I couldn't understand why, because I didn't see this happen.

Rod asked me, as we were leaving the party, why Jennifer gave the 'Thumbs Up' sign to Delicious as she approached our table. He wanted to know what it was all about. That was when my mind cleared, and Jennifer yelped.

She laughed at me and said, "It took you long enough."

"I am going to have to watch out for your hypnotic kisses. They could be hazardous to my health."

"It wasn't your health you were worried about. It was your daughters, and she is flying high. Look at her; you couldn't wipe that smile off her face if you tried."

"That is not what I'm worried about remember? I told you Dancing leads to Dating. Dating leads to cuddling, and cuddling leads to the loss of her virginity. She's too young, maybe not in years but in experience. I have to protect her from herself."

"Even from the little you've told me about her, if someone tried to do something to her that she didn't want he would be in trouble, not her."

"Jennifer a little while ago you kissed me and I forgot everything that was going on around me. I am 33 years old, Delicious is only 17. If it happened to me, it could happen to her just as easily."

"Do you trust her at all?"

"If there was ever a loaded question, you just asked it. Yes, I trust her."

"If you do, take her off the leash and let her grow."

"When did you get so smart?"

"The day I found out I was pregnant. My parents kept me on such a tight leash, while I was growing up, I had to have sex whenever and wherever I could. I wasn't promiscuous, but I loved sex. Then Tom came into my life. He was 25, and he swept me off my feet. I was a freshman in college. It was my first year away from home. I was as free as a bird, and I could do whatever I wanted. Four months later I was pregnant with Gordon, and Tom was gone. I had to drop out of school, and tell my parents I was pregnant. Believe it or not they did not blame me. They blamed themselves. They realized they reigned me in so tightly, they didn't allow me time grow up. Then they shipped off to college, where I had total freedom, but I was unprepared for life.

Gordon became the light of their lives. My parents helped me raise him. They taught me how to become independent, and how to run their businesses.

Then my dad's mother passed away. My parents were driving to her funeral when they were involved in a multicar accident on Interstate 70. My dad was killed instantly, my mother walked away without a scratch. My dad's mother left me a huge trust fund, which I will get when I turn 25. My father's estate was split between my mother and I. 7 months after the accident, my mother was diagnosed with uterine cancer. She died last year. Very few members of my family showed up at her funeral, just my grandmother, and a few of my aunts and uncles. I never felt so lonely in my life. I don't believe I have ever told the entire story to anyone."

I held her in my arms as she cried. I kissed the top of her head, and told her I was honored she revealed everything to me.

She placed her head against my chest and said, "You are still not getting laid until Sunday night."

"Wasn't that my position?"

"I thought you were a virgin? How could you possibly know about positions?"

"Lady, you are asking for a beating."

Her grandmother walked over to us and said, "That's enough for one night you two. My granddaughter is coming with me. I have to keep you safe from her so you may keep your honor Doctor Luck. I trust you completely; it's my granddaughter that you have to worry about."

"Grandma!"

"Come with me young lady, we have fitting in the morning. You can see each other later in the afternoon."

"You are absolutely correct Madam. She has been trying to get me in bed all night. Take her away before I submit."

It was Jennifer's turn to growl. "This is going to be the shortest marriage on record. I am going to kill you Sunday night."

"As long as I die with a smile on my face as large as Delicious' and I have an open casket, it will be worthwhile."

"Bastard."

"I know both my parents."