There Must Be a Mistake Ch. 06

Delicious yelled, "You pay that shyster 3 ½ million dollars a year?"

"How many days a year do you work for me Rod?"

"mMknuuop."

"How much did he say dad, I couldn't make it out."

"Rod would you like a 50 percent pay cut? If you don't tell Delicious how many days you work for me per year."

"Less than 100."

"How many less than 100?"

"30 less than hundred."

"Dad are you out of your fucking mind. You are paying this asshole 3 ½ million dollars a year for 70 workdays. You need to have your head examined."

"Do I have to tell you to get your pocketbook?"

"I wasn't even thinking about it. How much do I owe the pretzel jar?"

"You were very good. You only owe it $20."

"Delicious do you remember what I told Doctor Thyme about not judging the package, but the product that comes out of it."

"Yes I do."

"Rod you only work for me 70 days a year. How much time do you spend at home studying for those 70 days?"

"Close to 200, may be 220 days."

Delicious gasped.

"Since you've become my attorney, how many lawsuits have you had to defend me against?"

"Nineteen."

"How many happily lost?"

"None."

"Delicious do you have any further questions about this asshole."

"No dad, I withdraw my objection. Rod I apologize, I really do."

"Your apology is accepted. How long before you leave this planet? I'll help you in any way I can, as a matter of fact the sooner the better."

"Rod she just apologized be nice."

"I hate that we can't argue anymore. It takes all the fun out of life."

"One word from me and I'll take all the sex act of your life. This 20 percent Rod, backdated to the first of the year."

Delicious screamed, "$700,000, I want a raise just like his."

"Okay, I was going to raise you to $100 dollars an hour, but since you only want a 20 percent raise, I will raise you to $72 instead."

"You will not wake up tomorrow morning if you do that."

"I was only following your instructions."

"From this point on I always want the higher number."

"Let me get this straight, if I want to raise your salary by 50 percent you will take it. If I want to spank you and I know you deserve 20 and I normally just give you 10 I have to go with the higher number. Is that right?"

"I am going to be like Gordon. I am going to be good. There will be no more spankings."

I reached into my pants pocket, took out a $100 bill, and put it under the pretzel jar. She knew exactly what it was for.

She pulled it out from underneath the jar and threw it at me. "Bastard."

"That will be $10 please."

"I hate you."

*********

Rod said, "On that note, we have some serious business to take care of. I think the living room is more comfortable, but if you want to do it here, that's fine with me."

"Delicious, it's your choice baby."

"Since I slept with Gray in the living room, I'd like to do it there."

"You let her sleep with Gray?"

"I knew that would get him dad."

"Yes, but that was mean."

"It was the truth."

"Would someone like to explain that to me?"

My daughter and I simultaneously said, "NO!"

"I hate you both, EQUALLY."

Rod opened a large manila envelope first. In it was a spreadsheet showing the DNA of one person whose name was covered. I understood it immediately, but I explained it to Delicious so she would understand it. She had never seen one of these before and even though she was brilliant it was best that she knew exactly what she was looking at.

Rod opened the second manila envelope and pulled out another spreadsheet. It had another DNA profile of the person whose name was covered. They looked nearly identical except for one thing that I've picked out immediately. One was male and the other was female. I brought this to Rod's attention immediately.

He uncovered both names.

Even Zachariah Luck. Divine Elizabeth Luck.

He opened the third envelope and laid it before us. I knew; I knew it in an instant Delicious Margarette (Mark) Luck was my daughter. I did not have to read or see the labs printout, but I let Rod read it so Delicious would hear it.

"With a 99.99 Degree of Accuracy Access Incorporate, LLP. Laboratories declares: Divine Elizabeth Luck and Even Zachariah Luck to be the parents of Delicious Marguerite Luck, born on the 20^th day of July, 1997."

I did not get the reaction I expected from Delicious.

"ZACHARIAH! Where the hell did that come from?"

I followed along. "At least they didn't name me after a drink with an umbrella in it, Margarita."

"It's not Margarita, it's Marguerite."

"It's still one heck of a name to tag a child with. At least they can call me Zach. What are they going to call you Reete?"

"No, they could call me Maggie."

"Good choice, you do have strong resemblance to Margaret Thatcher."

"Before you to start a war could we continue please?"

"He started it."

"I can't wait to get both of you into outer space."

"Rod, you do realize when I leave you are going to have to find another source of income."

"No my friend I won't have to. I will write a book about the great Even Zachariah Luck and his trip into space. I will detail every nut and bolt that went into this venture. It will be a six book set which will take me 20 years to write. The money will flow in forever, and I will receive all the money from your patents."

"I hate to burst your bubble when you have everything lined up so perfectly. One of the last things I'm going to do before I depart this earth is to make sure all the money from my patents goes to feeding all the starving children on this planet. I will work it through the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation, because they are the most honest people I know."

"Let's continue before I eat the diary just to get even with Even. Remember, I have already read this. Much of it is inconsequential, and the ramblings of a woman tormented by a man she hated from the day she was told she was going to marry, until she died. She never wanted to marry him. Your parents forced her into it, and regardless of how hard she pushed against it, they wouldn't let her have her way. You can skip many years in between because all it has a stories about Delicious growing up. Nothing really consequential happened during those years. Divine was depressed and unhappy at home. Her salvation was Evens phone calls, Delicious' being a wonderful daughter, and her friends at work.

I'm going to leave the two of you alone, and I'm going to go home. You don't need me to tell you what Divine thought, meant or said in the words she wrote down on paper. If one of you would let me out please."

********

I sat down alongside my daughter, because there was no longer a doubt she was my daughter. I asked her if she was ready for the big reveal.

"It frightens me; I'll be honest with you dad. Why would she lie to me all those years? I know she loved me. She proved it every day, but why would she lie to me about everything."

"It's not a very big book, let's hope the words she put in it helps us understand what she went through, and why she wouldn't let me help her and you."

My Dearest Even, I am hiding this book in the one place I hope he will never look; amongst his trophies. He is a bad and malicious man and I could not get mom and dad to realize that before they forced me to marry him. They thought I was exaggerating, but I was not.

The baby I carried was not his, it is ours, yes ours. You were so sick you probably thought it was a dream, but it wasn't, it was real. Mom and dad were in Bar Harbor celebrating their anniversary. You were out with that lapdog friend of yours Rodney. God knows what you see in him, all he does is abuse you. You should kick him in the ass and get rid of him.

I have no idea where you two were, but you got caught in that freak snowstorm that came through, and instead of staying at his house, you had to come home because you didn't want me to be here alone. You were such a fucking idiot. When you opened the front door you were wet from head to toe and shivering to death. I stripped you down to your shorts and sent you up to take a warm bath. You never stopped shivering as I put you to bed. Your temperature was 104. I uncovered you and stripped you bare. I gave you two Tylenol and rubbed you down with cool water. I put an ice pack under each arm and between your legs to try to bring your temperature down.

Your fever was so high you became delirious. I was so frightened for you. Then you started talking about me, and I wasn't shocked by what I heard. The things you said about me were the same feelings I had for you. You said how much you loved me and how you wanted me to be with you forever. You wanted no other woman in your life but me. You didn't care if we couldn't have children; you only wanted me, because I was perfect in every way for you. Your thoughts were my thoughts in every way, and I thought them every day.

I worked on you feverishly for hours trying to get the damn temperature to break but it wouldn't. The snow outside kept getting higher and higher. The radio said it had turned into a nor'easter and we could expect 12 to 16 inches of snow by the next evening. There was no way an ambulance could get to our house, and you and I were stuck together. Together was fine, but I had to get you well.

To make a bad situation worse the electricity went out. I went downstairs to get the lanterns and the flashlights. I brought them up to your room and sat by your side. This is the time you thank goodness for gas appliances. If and when you woke up I could make you hot soup. I remember you telling me all the time, with that magical brain of yours: If you want to get cool, drink something hot; if you want to get hot you have something cold. I could not understand it until you showed me what you meant. I knew one day you would be Doctor Even Luck. I knew you would not let dad hold you back. What would you do stuck in a paper factory like he is? You would go crazy after one day of that boredom.

I got tired but I would not leave you alone just in case you woke up. I put on my nightdress, brought in my pillow and blanket, and lay down on the floor. After a few moments I knew this was not going to work. The floor was too cold, and definitely too hard. I decided to lie down on my side by you.

It was a tight fit for the two of us on your single bed, but I made do. I placed my hand on your stomach, closed my eyes, and fell asleep. I don't know how many minutes or hours passed, but I felt your hand on mine. I thought you had woken up, but I was wrong. I looked into your eyes and you are still asleep. I felt your head, and you were slightly cooler than before. Then I looked down at our hands and I think my eyes nearly popped out of my head.

Your hand was covering my hand which was holding your erect penis. I had seen a male organ before, but that was in biology class. Here I was in my brother's bed holding the real thing. According to my biology book this was a circumcised penis because it did not have the flap of skin covering the top. I started moving it around as if it was a specimen; checking its length, width, and height. The natural question popped into my mind: How the hell does something this big fit into an opening that small. Since geography class tells us about the overpopulation of the planet, I guess it fits quite well. I pulled my hand off your penis saying to myself what the hell am I doing, you are my brother, I'm not supposed to do that to you. I looked up at your face, and realized you are the only person in the world I wanted to do it with.

I went to your chest of drawers to see if you're hiding any condoms. I check everywhere, even underneath the draws and you're not hiding them anywhere. I realize you were probably as innocent as I am. I would love to lose my virginity to you Even, but I can't get pregnant. Our folks would kill us. Actually, they would kill you and force me to have the baby. It would ruin both of our lives. Maybe I'll just stick to head in to see what it feels like. I won't break my hymen. I leave my cherry intact for my husband; that will make him happy.

Even stop that. I can't believe it; you are unconscious, and you are playing with that thing. Your penis is as hard stone. I take off my nightdress and underwear and remove your arm away from this plaything. Your body is so warm. The way you wraps your arms around me I'm sure you are awake, but you are not; or at least I think so. I decided to test you. I take your nipple into my mouth and bite it. You didn't even moan in pain. You are asleep.

I am about to take advantage of my brother, the love of my life, and I cannot tell him how I feel about him. This is so wrong, yes it is wrong, but I'm going to do it anyhow, damn the consequences. I want my brother. I love my brother.

I slide my body down, until my rear end is resting on your thighs. I check the length to see how much I have to move up, and surprisingly it's not much at all. I spread my lips to see if I am moist enough to have it enter me a little, without causing me too much pain. I cannot believe that I am wetter than the Kennebunk River. I was paying so much attention to your sex; I hadn't been paying any attention to mine.

There you were back to playing with yourself again. I could only imagine what you were dreaming about. I hoped it is about me.

I center my body, and prepare to put an inch or so of my magnificent brother's instrument inside me. I placed my hand around him to make sure it would go in me no further than that. There are going to be no accidents tonight. I was going to remain a virgin.

I rubbed the head of your penis between the lips of my vagina to moisten it. I felt for the opening, and slowly, oh so very slowly I allowed you into my body. I never let go of your penis. The tip never touched my maidenhead. I moved slowly up and down and side to side. The sensation was mind blowing. I knew sex was going to be fun when I had a chance to do it legally. I let go with my hand and stayed still just to feel you alone in my body. It was you and I alone in bed as lovers. All was right with the world.

I moved my hand back to take it out of me when you screamed. I had no idea what happened, until one second later. I felt your semen filling my vagina. I screamed, "Even No!"

I jumped out of bed, ran into the bathroom, and attempted to wash everything that got into me, out. I must have stayed in the bathtub for 20 minutes flushing water in and out of my vagina. I was positive I got it all.

Nine days later I missed my period. I wanted to die.

We were going to Cape Cod the following weekend for the fall festival and I decided to do the deed there. I hoped to find a nice young man, do it quickly, get it over with, and never see him again. I would tell my folks and I lost my head and it happened. I wanted to get an abortion, which they would not hear of, because we are Catholic. I would be able to have our baby, without them ever knowing. It would be perfect.

Everything went as planned at Cape Cod, the kid was rough, but it did not matter. Three weeks later I told my parents I was pregnant. I thought the boy would be in Massachusetts or Connecticut or New Hampshire or any place but in Maine. However, my father demanded to know the boy's name. So I told him, Julius Mark.

"Julius Mark; Sam and Julia Mark's son, Julius?"

"Dad, I did not get a social history of the boy. We made out and I lost my head. We made love and parted company. It's more my fault than his."

"His father works for me, and his son is going to stand up for you. I'll make sure of that young woman. You are getting married, whether you want to or not."

"Dad I don't want to get married. I will raise my child by myself. I don't want to force the boy to marry me because of a mistake I made. It will not work. He will hate me and the baby."

"He better not, or I will fire his father's ass."

This is how the conversation in our household went for days, until the following Saturday, when Mister and Mrs. Mark brought Julius to the house.

Julius looked at me as if I was already dead. I walked over to him and said that I did not want to get married, but my father was forcing the issue. He didn't believe me, not then, not ever.

Both of our parents made arrangements with the priest. We were married at the foot of the altar on a Monday morning, with just our parents as witnesses. If they could have thrown a blanket over our heads, I think they would have. I don't know why they forced us to marry if they were so ashamed of me or us.

Dad finished the basement of our house and made us an apartment, with a private entrance and everything. It was very cute. We could go into the main house by the stairwell and we often did to share dinner with the family because Julius and I were still in school.

I became the laughingstock of the sophomore class walking around with a belly like a bowling ball. Julius was getting a mixed reaction. Some of his friends were getting him high-fives for getting me pregnant and others were calling him an old married man.

This did not stop him from screwing around with other girls. Some of my friends, who did not desert me, told me about it. I never brought it up to him, because I knew it would happen.

That did not hurt me as much as you deserting me Even. I never stopped loving you. I was carrying our baby, but I couldn't tell you. Your reaction cut my heart out. You stopped talking to me when I needed you the most. The hatred in your eyes spoke volumes, but not a word came out of your mouth. A simple 'Hello' would have brightened my day, but if I walked into a room you would leave it. You left for MIT without saying a word. I delivered our baby and you weren't there. You had a month off from school at Christmas, and you left on January 2. You watched our baby play, and you barely laughed. You could have killed me, and I would have felt better.

During the nine months of my pregnancy Julius and I got along, but barely. It was probably because we were downstairs from our parents. Once I started showing he barely touched me, and I didn't mind at all. I knew he was getting all the sex he wanted from the girls at school. I didn't know he had a reputation when I met him, but he did, and as long as he left me alone I was fine.

Then the worst thing in the world happened, he graduated in June and dad got him a job at the factory. He came home that night, I had dinner ready and said hello as he walked through the door. He walked over to me and backhanded me across the face. I fell to the floor crying. I asked him what I had done wrong. He said I am going to die in that fucking job. That day ended our marriage. Every time he walked in the door I made sure there was something between me and him. I was never going to be hit again. There was always a knife underneath my side of the mattress, where I could get to it quickly. I had little things that looked innocuous that could turn into weapons quickly. Cans of hairspray, spray paint, cooking spray, anything that could blind him for seconds so I could get away from him. I was not going to be an abused wife.

Then, roly-poly came into our lives. A cute bundle of chubby arms and chunky thighs that you wanted to bite and tickle. Our baby Even, yes ours, the Gerber Baby in the flesh. Was she ever a joy? She drank my breasts dry every night. I thought she was going to be 50 pounds by the time she was one, but all she did was drink and poop. She was very good at both of them.

She was a little more than a year old, and I was putting away groceries. I asked Julius to change her diaper, which he really hated to do. He brought her into the bedroom and I couldn't understand what was taking him so long. I went in there to find out. I screamed at him because he was playing with her privates. I told him if he ever touched her again I would kill him. He knew I wasn't joking. For the first time in our marriage he ran out of the room looking frightened. So what did my little darling do when I picked her up, and held her close; she peed on me. No good deed goes unpunished.