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All Comments on 'Topless Beach Bunny'

by jarocklover34

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  • 4 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
i rated this a 2.

i just couldn't continue reading.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
I I I I so many I.s s

story idea is good just oops many I did this writing

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Good concept ... but ...

It's a good start. But what's the rush? Slow down, invite us into the storyline. If it is a seduction (by the topless lady?) then you've gotta seduce your reader.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

That story sucked ! It was just to short and hurried ! Slow down next time!

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beach