All Comments on 'Traditions Ch. 02'

Ever since watching an episode of My Big Fat Gyspy Wedding on telly I have been hooked on the Travelers. And now an IR story about a Traveler man... HELL YEAH!

I really like the story! My only thing is I can't really picture the characters that well. I have an idea of Declan, but Cheyanne has no face to me. In the first chapter it was said that she was surprised that the dress fit her because her friend wore a D cup and she was happy the dress made her look like she had a butt and in this chapter it was described that the blush looked good on her tan skin. So what I am picturing is just a thin or slimmer very light skinned black woman, I mean he couldn't tell she was black in the club. But beyond that I have nothing. I really like the story and would just like a little bit more description all around.

Lovely story, please update soon.

Thanks for another Super good update . I'm totally stalking this story . Love it !!!

Though Declan come off as assy sometimes it is expected with different cultural views and upbringing and his no nonsense personality. But loving this story and can't wait to see how this pans out for them.

I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens between these two-- with their different cultures. I love the way the story flows--please update when you can!!! Great second chapter

Well i have to say that with perusing around this site that I have pretty much read them all and most have the typical story line but this one intrigues me especially since it has to do with the Romani/travelers customs and as you have named it "traditions" it's secretive and people want to know more info about them. I would like to comment that the flow is good and i know that you need to find an editor which is something that you have already said that you need. I would also like to comment that when you were talking about 'Ginger' i didn't feel like it was genuine it seemed like it was very "American" especially the way that she talked. The English do have their own lingo when it comes to pet names "sweet-cheeks" is not one of them. Also where Declan is concerned i feel that when you are trying to capture his Irish accent it needs to be more defined, so you can't use it in one part of the story and then switch it to complete proper English it needs to be consistent. Also I would like to say that the Irish don't use the word "ass" it is mostly "arse". I would really appreciate as a reader and i think most would also agree, that using typical cliches when writing a story, especially on here, such as a 'jealous girl who likes him who is going to be vindictive' or even the language, don't make it to obvious. I hope that is making sense :) Other than that I think you will have an amazing story on your hands and honestly take your time to truly capture the characters that you are sharing with us because this story has HUGE potential to be on the "Hall Of Fame" list. Good luck and i can't wait for future posts!!!! :)

Keep them coming!!

I love reading about his entirely "new" culture! You just don't hear much about gypsies. I really like this story so far and the interaction between Declan and Cheyanne. I can barely wait for the next chapter!

I have to admit I was a bit irked with his little explanation about the role of "woman" but I realize that it was him explaining how things are not necessarily what he might feel. I just hope she challenges him on this if he ever tries to "put her in her place" after all she seems to be serious about her education and where she wants to go in life. That aside this story is verrrryyy intriguing, can't wait for mroe! Also, I have to agree with another poster that I'm not getting a good visual of Cheyenne so I'll just put myself in her place ;)

Where does this fascinating story with great characters lead....give us the scope

I am really enjoying this story, I want to read more about Declan and Chayenne...........

I'm more interested in this tale. I love the way it is unfolding. I like how you are introducing us to a culture that we may not be aware of and it's not overbearing but it fits in the story. Thanks for not making Cheyanne a rebel but taking it all in stride. Ready for the next chapter...:)

I'm enjoying the story thoroughly so far, and find it really refreshing to read an interracial story with a twist. However, some of the words and phrases you use when the British characters are talking really annoy me, simply for the fact that they're American words, and a British person just wouldn't say them. For instance, Declan calls Cheyenne's handbag a purse, whereas really, a British person would call it a bag. The same goes for sidewalk and pavement, and cute vs. hot for example. I can tell you are an American writer and it's an honest mistake to make but I feel it would make your story 10x more authentic if you sorted these little things out. I don't mean to offend, only to help, being English myself I really noticed them - though it might just be me!