All Comments on 'Trouble in Paradise: Conclusion'

"Trouble in Paradise" is by far the most erotic story I found on this site. The combination of the exotic location and the corrupted police men, the danger when Jill submits to the criminal "enforcer", the complete humiliation of the female character Jill, the description of her body, ... It calls for more.

While this was a fair stroke story, again I have to complain that you have cast aspersions of a libellous nature on a "foreign Police Force"; that they all rape and kidnap white couples is a common enough fantasy in the BDSM community.

But It Just Ain't So!!

I worked for several years with a Caribbean police force, and they were the best cops (once I got through with them) that anyone has ever seen in the Caribbean. They most assuredly do NOT kidnap foreigners and rape "De White Ommun".

When an American or any other foreigner is arrested, a special prosecutor is notified, and the foreigner's home nation's consul or Ambassador is immediately notified. The only country Not following this is Cuba, and for the mainland, Mexico. Venezuela does call our embassy.

The detainee is usually arraigned and sent home as persona non gratia(we don't want ya, get the fuck out!) on the next airliner out of port, usually after a steep fine, that for "personal amounts of mary jane". For coke, and smack, expect to stay awhile. A LONG while. And oh yeah. Expect to have your spouse stay also. As an enforced "guest of the state". They usually arrest them for "acting in concert/conspiracy, as do we.

But you can forget about rape. They all look at Americans as having brought in the AIDS virus to their countries. We're not really well liked down there, in the Caribbean.

So STOP giving these hard-working cops, male and female alike a round of applause, and support them in their hard jobs, well done.

What happens next? Do they go free? Does she "work" off more of his sentence?

Your story-telling is incredible. I could feel the monster cock as if it was stretching my own pussy. Amazing! Love Hayli

As with all of your stories I fully enjoyed it. This one, however, the ending kind of lacked. How did Brad react to seeing his wife in this position. All he really saw was her willingly doing a prisoner, I mean a guy wouldn't ever just think, "Oh she is doing this for me." I'm sure he was disgusted and humiliated that his new bride was doing these people who have treated him so wrong, ya know.

but I'm not ranking it higher because it doesn't have the needed final chapter - what happens after they leave. Does she decide to stay there, does husband refuse to bring her home? All he knows is that his new bride is a whore, he has no idea how it happened. The conflict in the final chapter would have made this story.

i would love more tito sex, he was hot.

Great story!

She was hot!

great story, should be extended

Please go on with this story!

There’s an awkward problem with this kind of “fantasy” namely that if you give it more than a surface reading it instead comes across as an awful reality horror story.

Despite being labelled as the conclusion this chapter just seemed to trail off and run out of steam.

It was erotic in places but came across as a bit mechanical and forced (no pun intended) aside from the tired cliché of dirty cops I thought there was a lot of potential in the story. Making her believe that she was overcome with lust was one option but the potential for humiliation at her expense given their attitude towards women was missed. They could have openly given him a vial/ small bottle of the aphrodisiac as a souvenir from their beautiful country with the advice that now she’s had ‘real cock’ maybe he should use that to control her.

In all honesty the thing that sickened me wasn’t the story at all it was the comments from “very erotic “ Anon 12/09/09.....

“Does she decide to stay there, does husband refuse to bring her home? All he knows is that his new bride is a whore, he has no idea how it happened.“

Seriously?? What kind of fucking arsehole are you? You have to be a man surely because that bullshit sounds like male ‘logic’. It’s pretty fucking obvious what’s happened, husband and wife were arrogant moronic tourists believing themselves above the law, he got arrested and she gained his freedom by fucking whoever she had to in order to secure his release. If he turns into an ungrateful jealous bastard that’s his problem not hers. FML what typical shitty attitude.

Tess (UK)

I may have read this before?

I like this kind of story. I think you can milk quite a few more chapters out of it without

repeating anything. Make her do it while husband watches. Explore story and events from both wife and husbands view and feelings.

The plot is good as far as it went but the story felt rushed. The author could have built up the tension and horror of the scene by dwelling on the revulsion felt by the wife as she faced the enforcer; he could have stank of stale sweat and been verbally arrogant. Her husband could have begged her to do copulate with the enforcer for his freedom. The point is to build torment in the readers mind. Just my thoughts. 5 stars.