by vic_elor
I like the switch to third person. Normally it wouldn't make sense in the middle of a story, but since you've broken it up into chapters, it adds to the story. You need to edit more carefully, though. You've got words that are spelled correctly, but aren't the words you want. You need to reread after you spell check. Otherwise, I like the story. It's interesting.
With this further progression into the story the characters are sympathize-able and the girl is all so much cuter in her dog mannerisms it's sweet. I look forward to more.
Your writing is awesome! cant wait til the 4th part comes out! This is a great story!! Keep up the great work!!
it is a great story and i hope to read the fourth part real soon i really like the story
I was worried that you had given up this story but i am glad to see that you haven't. I think this is one of the best storys on Literotica and i hope i get to read the fourth part soon.
The reason i think this story is so good is because is that you have succeeded with something that is very important that alot of other authors fails with.
And the thing you have succeeded with is to build up two characters that are sympathetic, unique and captivating.
The other thing you have succeeded with is the atmosphere in the story and it makes everything believable and makes me want to read more and find out what is going to happen next.
The only other thing i have to say good luck with your future writeing and i hope to read the fourth part soon.