All Comments on 'Unexpected Relief Ch. 01'

Wow. I'm simply dumbfounded by the quality of your writing. This story was both emotional and erotic. Great work.

I'm sorry the story sucked and guy was a pussy for the entire first page and I stopped reading when i got to the female black character with grey eyes and teak skin... Next time just make the both white and put it in another fucking area...ugh y'all are on my last nerve with this shit. oh and you get a 1.. I have no idea what's wrong with the other reader maybe she is illiterate too, because the story is full of errors.

I loved this story!! Not only for its eroticism but for the quality of your writing. I hope you submit more in the near future. Really, really loved it!

Extraordinary. To be honest, a good editor could polish it and make it even better. Even so, it's very, very good.

Five.

Thank you for your comments and observations.

I've done some of my own editing- I've always been bad about pre-mature posting- just waiting on the moderators, but I think I'll make use of the volunteer editors too.

For those of you who enjoyed my story, I'm glad. For those of you who haven't I'm sure you'll find something more to your taste.

Who knows? I might be able to get more ink on the page before my break ends.

Don't worry about the haters... you are a good writer. Just find yourself a good editor and write what you feel.

Would have been an Excellent Tale in any category. . . by that I mean there was no need for the inter-racial bit. Can not understand why it was there in the first place. Inter-Racial depends somewhat on the Inter-racial-ness for plot points.

And your editing was pretty good, too. There were no glaring errors, none I picked up on anyway (and believe me, I pick 'em up). So, if this is all your own work, keep it up.

The characters were not fleshed out very much, so it's no big loss if this pair proceed no further. Nice if it could, though.

I think I said it already, Excellent Tale.

Cheers and Thanks,

Kilroy.

The inter-racial part was very interesting and added to the story. I WILL be reading more of your submissions. Thank you for an enjoyable read.

Ok I loved this story. This can't be the end I can see lots for this couple.

I won't repeat what others have written praising your writing you have a literate style. Ignore the spelling and grammar police. You can fix that. Keep writing!

I love the way you write.

One star for the creationist crap in the first paragraph, Four stars for the rest.

how love will find you when all else is darkness

Wonderful read

I'm going to say it sucked, but I didn't care too much for it. When reading the beginning of it, I was wondering "Is this in the right section?" Talking about his past relationship was good, but it was too long and too early in my opinion. And yeah, I stopped reading when you started talking about the black female character. Biracial people are considered black, but they aren't. They are a whole race of there own. It really irks me that the majority of interracial stories out there have mixed black women or black women with "less black" looking features.

Firstly, thank you for reading my story. Unlike that first anonymous guy, you actually bothered to read it from start to finish before you told me it sucked. I appreciate your input about the length of the protagonist's relationship, but that's my style. I know it's not for everyone.

To the sticking point- If mixed people are their own race, doesn't it still belong in the interracial section, especially if the person they're having sex with is a essentially a WASP type person? You can also claim that a mixed person is half-white, or whatever- however, for example, I don't think so many people would be worked up over President Obama's race if he didn't look the way he did, and he's also mixed. Many people would consider him to be black, regardless of the fact his mother was white. Unless the "African-American" (I hate that label by the way, it's typical cumbersome PC tripe) was literally a black person who just came from Africa they're mixed in some way with something else. Race itself is an arbitrary social construction that owes more to sociopolitical perceptions than any scientific reality.

However, when it comes down to it, Unexpected Relief is at heart a story about how two people from different backgrounds, who once had one type of intimate connection, converged several years later to create another and the sexual fulfillment they experienced because of it. I had to stick it somewhere- I know it could have easily gone into several other areas. My story doesn't follow the typical "formula" of the interracial category, but honestly, I don't really give a flying fuck. <End rant here>

I'm going to make another comment on this story, even though it may not be received well in all quarters. I'm doing so as a result of seeing some of the complaints about it, such as it being questionably placed in the interracial category, the characteristics of the female lead, etc.

So what if the female character is mixed, perhaps even biracial? She's still not white, by prevailing standards, so that makes this an interracial story, doesn't it?

Not every story in this category has to have characters who are typically white, or typically black, or typically anything.

I realize some black women have an issue with this sort of thing, and I understand why, which is why I thought twice about commenting on it, but I still think there should be room in this category for characters such as Yolanda.

It's just my two cents, and if I should have kept them to myself, my apologies, ladies.

I completely agree with the anon 1 and anon2. Sorry but I'm not reading anymore story with black women who truly aren't black. No biracial is not black. I'm sorry sweetie but its not, and yes you are entitled to write any character you like. I didn't like your story because the lead male sucked he was a whimp at the beginning and I couldn't even finish it. I won't give you a rating because its my personal reasons why I didn't like it, and although your story is definetly not for me there is an audience for it. I wish you good luck on your writings but I won't read anymore of your work if these are the characters you write about.

I don't understand why most of the authors here portray there female characters this way. Lol its horrible... Good luck lady you have a talent and your audience loves you.

The story didn't suck. It was decent. The lead character just needed a bit more depth to him but other than that not too bad. Maybe get an editor and flesh it out a bit.

I don’t have a problem with the leading lady being mixed. But when people put a tag as “black woman,” some will assume she’s not mixed. Why not just use the tag “biracial woman?” That way, some (like me) will know what to expect. Her being mixed has nothing to do why I first wonder if it was in the right category or not.

I don’t have a problem with stories featuring characters such as Yolanda. I just rather read interracial stories where the leading lady looks like me. (Brownish skin, brown eyes) That way, I have a better time putting myself in her place. Plus I noticed in a lot of interracial stories, involving black women, the author (not talking about this one) put a lot of emphasis on the leading lady not looking “too black.” I even read a story that said you can tell the leading lady was mixed because of her “soft and feminine features.” I never read an interracial story that offended me like that. Yeah I know it’s just a story, but I have read, heard, and met a lot of people who thinks this way. That’s why I tend to stray away from stories that stress this same belief. I don’t have a problem with mixed women or black women with lighter and more angular features, it’s just a lot of stuff try to stress that this is what your “ideal” black woman should look like.

There was an error when I was typing my comment, which is why I need to proofread more in the future. I meant, “I’m not going to say it sucked.” They story just wasn’t my cup of tea.

I didn’t say anything thing about a “mixed person + white person” not being an interracial couple. I assumed this story wasn’t interracial in the beginning, because you spent a lot of time talking about the leading man’s ex. I’m not worked up about anything. The only thing I’m saying is, if one of the story’s leading characters is mixed, why not tag it as that? And I’m not just not just talking about you, I’m talking about a lot of authors. Yeah people “consider” Obama as black, just like many other biracial people, but they aren’t just simply “black.” They are this race + that race.

You could consider AA to be mixed, but that’s only by a small percentage compared to biracial and multi racial people. They are directly mixed, we aren’t. But hey, if you want to put it that way, everyone would be considered mixed. Either by nationality or race. The “mixed” I’m talking about is, when someone has parents of difference races.

I know if all the movies and TV shows I've seen, and books I read depicted the only good looking, smart, successful white people as having only full heads of red hair and freckles, I'd think that would suck too, considering that certainly isn't me.

In Yolanda, I was going for someone who was Creole. Do I see her as a black woman? Sure. Do I think she's a very sexy example of a black woman? Fuck yes. Does that mean she is my "ideal black woman", to the exclusion of all others? Not at all.

It's funny, I almost gave her brown eyes- but I remembered this rather pretty and sweet black girl I knew when I was younger, and I remembered loving her eyes- so they became Yolanda's eyes. At least in my mind, I portrayed her as having a majority of features that were classically Nubian from shade of her nipples to the shape of her body. She might not have been ebony skinned- only milk-chocolate colored, and might have had grey eyes instead of brown or black ones. Did that make her any more or less sexy than any other black woman to me? No. I see her as one of many manifestations of beauty out there- and that's the one I chose for 'Landa.

However, I did try to explore the self-esteem aspect and identity issues that often come from being mixed in America and highlight how Tom's compassion and understanding earlier in her life helped her to become more confident, so she in turn could be there for him when he was in a low point in his. I know it's just supposed to be something to get your rocks off to, but I can't help but put things like that in there.

I'm currently working on a sequel, and I hope to explore both characters more and expand upon them and their personalities- and how that might play (or detract), from their relationship. I hope to do that in a way that keeps the spirit of both characters alive, and still be a titillating read enough to get your jollies to.

So, even if you didn't enjoy the story, I enjoyed seeing your obviously thoughtful comments, and how they gave me something to consider. I return, I hope that my own thoughtful responses have given you pause as well.

~Tendermindholes

Because of your thoughtful response, I think I will give the story another trying. I stopped reading after Yolanda’s description and just will pick up from there.

I just want you to know I understand the issues about light skin vs. dark skin, hair texture, eye color, facial features, etc. Your sensitivity is fully understandable to me. Well, as a white male I may not be able to fully understand, but I do try, and I assure you I'm offended by anything I hear or read that slights darker black women in any way. I don't think this author, or this story, is guilty of doing that.

I know this author and this story isn't guitly of doing so, and I didn't want to come off as jumping down his throat about that. Reading interracial story after interracial story, I'm always comming cross this. It's just gets tiring after a while. It's getting hard to find a good interracial that has someone who looks like me and it not be trashy or a quicky. Basically I was just venting in these comments.

This was a wonderful, well written story! The depth of emotion expressed...just wow! This story is a lot more real and true to life than would be expected in love story. People who have been in the situation of having a cheating partner can empathize more with Tom. Often times, it takes someone you connect with to get you out of that dark place. In this situation, the one he connected with happened to be a black chick from his past. Well done. Please keep writing!~~LilyJade

I was actually expecting this to be a bit longer but after reading the end it didn't matter -- this story was breathtaking

I get it, a lot of interracial stories on this site feature black women who have mmixed features...light colored skin, eyes, hair, you name it. To make it worse, some stories do feature dark-skinned black women, but in the author's eyes, those women are always 'cute'.....never be pretty (you know, like their non-black/dark counterparts). So I understand the uproar.

However, after reading the author's response to the comments, I don't think he's the asshole that some have made him out to be. Whether or not we like it, this is an erotic site, and people are allowed to write what THEY like with the hope that we will like it too. And guess what black women, some white guys prefer light skin women, just like some black men do, and I can guarrantee you that no amount of negative comments will change that. So if you don't like a story, leave your feedback, but there is no need for the back and forth...it makes us look whiny, and we are above that.

P.S. hook a sister up and let her know about the stories/sites that do feature beautiful black/dark sisters. This is a huge site, and I don't have a lifetime to search.

I loved your story and the characters and look forward to your future works. I really liked that Tom got some healing out of his interlude with Landa. Keep up the good work! ;)

Firstly, this is a good story you should be proud of. Could it use a little polish? Sure, but otherwise, it was good.

1) Don't you find it interesting that people "hate" this story, yet they take the time to leave some longwinded, and detailed reviews? Really? The haters hate it so much they will spend their time giving a review. Fascinating! Or even more fascinating is they'll finish the story, something they've admitted to hating AND THEN leave a review! Truly fascinating!

2) What's will all the semantics police about the meaning of black, biracial, and interracial? WTF?! Only black is black and anything else is other and not black or interracial? Are you wackos serious? The hairs some people split...

3) Showing remorse and restraint -even if they're misplaced or exaggerated- don't make a man a wimp, nor does showing emotion. He's human, not some emotionless killing machine or some cold Charles Bronson clone. So all you emasculated, and powerless, misogynist "Wimp Whiners" can circle jerk each other while you watch the Terminator while reading your favorite rape fiction to get your "man" fix, the rest of us will enjoy reality.

are truly out there. Who gives a fuck that she's biracial, she's still black. And complaining about light skinned women? WTH! I'm fully 100% black and I'm light, my sister is lighter than me and we have another sister that's dark skinned. We can't help our genes. Some men, no matter their race, actually like lighter toned women just as some like darker ones. It's called a preference.

Someone said something about only wanting to read bw/wm stories with darker skinned women. I think that's sad. If I were to only read bw/wm stories that were specifically with only 'light skinned' black women, I'd be losing out on a lot of good stories. Again...black is black, at least to me.

Said all that to say this, the story was rightfully categorized as any form of black is considered, by our government, a black person...enuf said!

And complaining about Tom because he has feelings? Really? I actually prefer a man who isn't an emotionless lout. I was really expecting some garbage after the comments and it was anything but; I liked it and the sexy time was hot. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work. -Mel

When I read this story months ago, I was so impressed that I gave it a 5 right out of the gate. I did see the first anon comment, but just chocked it up to the standard ignorance that seems to be common in this category. All these months later it still gets a 5 because I love it and it's so well written, and frankly I'm shocked by the subsequent "she's not black enough, light-skinned women, blah blah blah..." comments. I find it a little funny as to what irks people, and how more readers would like to see more stories featuring dark-skinned women, but where Yolanda is concerned; we're reading and writing these stories where white men and black women of all skin tones get together and have families and HEAs, but the line of acceptable reading doesn't extend to those gorgeous mixed babies? See how ridiculous that sounds? You can not like the fact that she's not as dark as your reading eyes prefer, but to say the story sucks because of it, might I recommend you writing one so that we can bask in your non-anonymous brilliance. Give the author (and those of us with good sense) a break.

To the author, I LOVED this chapter and after reading your responses...I think I love you too ;-D but I definitely love Mel!

Hi, I'm a black woman with an eye for white, older men. I say an eye because I don't indulge. I loved this story, the pathos, sensitivity, raw passion, everything. Nice build-up and great coming of age for the male character to release his manliness and just enjoy his woman without trappings of politesse.

I read the sequel first and now this. will look out for chapter 3, this could be the beginning of a great love story.

It was such an emotional yet loving story that I couldnt help but love!! I also wanted to point out that I'm a black woman and I didn't see a problem with the description of "Landa" all that should matter is if the reader loved the story or not... I'm not on this site to judge someone on how they write, I'm here to relax and read a good story NOT judge!! So with that being said: Keep up the good work =)

This is a great story. It has a wonderful mix of a negative / hate situation with Tommy's former girlfriend to how a loving woman; Yolonda can be so open, caring and raise Tommy from his negativity. She brings out the true caring and tender feelings he has and they both reap the rewards that positiveness holds.

Please write more chapters about where they go from this point and how Yolonda and Tommy expand their lives and lust for each other. I think you can go in many different directs; based on how she is as a person and sexually.

Thank you !!

Reading the first page made me remember similar situations in my life. I could literally feel the betrayal, the shock, the anger and the helplessness. I only hope you didn't write that from your own experience, cuz that is tough stuff. But the "good part" made up for all the sorrows. Very erotic, very nice, I love it. Please keep going :)

It took me a while to get into this one,but now I am enjoying it and looking forward to reading more. Good job and thanks for sharing your talent.