by Caramelangel247
I really enjoyed reading, I like that you have a pix
on your profile.
I like stories with pix better.
They are hotter to masturbates to.
I love your breast.
Steve
Just finished 2nd read through. Great and agree with the ladies who preceeded me.
A love story to be sure.
I really liked this story. It was a great first effort. I hope you write more. It was well written. Bravo. Very well done.
I LOVED this and I really hope to see more of this and other stories of yours! And it's a plus that your first comment came from your mom!
Enjoyed this very much...looking forward to more of your work including more of this couple. Thanks for sharing!
Anjel54
I liked the chemistry between the two. The fact that he was not ashamed to pursue and have her was cute. This is definitely worth a sequel. The story could have gone into the nonconsent/reluctance category, but I totally get why you wouldn't want to put it there. Really great first try - I hope to read some more from you.
As a bit of constructive criticism, an editor from the Literotica editor's list will help with story flow. I find it incredibly useful to bounce my story off another set of eyes, so that the ideas flowing out my head, through my fingers and onto a document are being presented the way I want them to.
Good read & definitely worth taking your writing out of your journals and onto the site.
QMS
Thanks for all the positive responses. I enjoy writing but I tends to file them away and never really show them.
Although I've learned a valuable lesson not to share links on my facebook. Apparently my mother is watching *faints*. I must admit my mother complimenting me on my erotic musings is highly amusing!!!
Baby, Momma is very proud! I am so glad to read your stories it reminds me of your writings in the past. I too blushed and I forgot you knew thos word..LOL..keep it up !
Your #1 Fan Fam...MOMMIE
Don't you dare stop writing, im soo hooked, I went for wanting to laugh to down right blushing at parts of this little story keep up the good work, your well on your way.
Exquisite! You have a talent. Let your fingers do their random dance more often ...
Now you need to Follow-up and let us know how the Cinnamon Rolls were.
and what the Rest of their Week-End was like.
This is very good! You should keep writing! You have a great writing style, so you should not limit your self to erotic stories only! :)