All Comments on 'Unqualifiedly Datable Ch. 05'

And are you trying to get it?

I am questioning my own sanity but I am still with you after all this time and even hoping you finish all the stories. Thanks for sharing

Love that you finally finished it and how it turn out...can't wait to read Danny's story... but post closely please

you need one more chapter like what about the team... what was affecting them...and the lost Ryan and what's up with Adam and the other 2??? do they want Jason back on the team... Tell me .....

Yes you need to continue the rest of the story....I agree with the other anonymous, what happened to the rest of the team? Danny? We all want to know! ! Please!

too many details were left out, like the team, ryan, adam & danny....

deamon child

my seal, the eclipse...

I never thought I'd read the ending to this story so thanks for finally coming back with the 5th chapter. I agree with everyone. This story has too many holes in it. First of all, I know bigotry exists, but what the coach did was illegal. Then, he asks Jason to help whip the team into shape after kicking him off it? What a douchebag! Let's hear more about Jason and Chris and more about Danny and Adam.

Would like to read Danny story.

I could be wrong, but I believe when used in the adverbial form, the more likely meaning of unqualifiedly is "without reservation or limitation; total". So your title means something like "completely datable," which is not the way you used it at all. I also noticed that you tend to use the same sentence structure, especially for sex scenes. There would be five or ten sentences in a row that started with "I" or "He." I think that improved a little over the course of the chapters though. Also, you don't use as many contractions in your dialogues as I do when speaking naturally. I suppose that could just be difference in location, but I thought I would mention it. Most of the people that I know use "I'm" instead of "I am" and "I'll" instead of "I will" when speaking aloud, especially in informal settings. To me, the "I am" and "I will" made the conversations sound very stilted and formal, although I was still able to enjoy the story. I just want you to know that I wouldn't bother giving any feedback at all if I didn't think you should keep writing. You have good ideas, you just need some polishing.

but there are a lot of confusing bits and obviously grammar and spelling issues. other than that, it's a good story :)

(other people mentioned the confusing bits so i figured there was no point reiterating it).

Loved it! Hope you do a story on Danny....I'd like a Danny in my life....great friend! :)

Yes Danny needs to have a story

This was a great story! Danny and Adam would make a great pair!! Please write an epilogue for Chris and Jason! Loved it!

I do get pathetically emotional sometimes... and this is one of those times but your story went straight through my bull's eye... you are no doubt gifted and unique....although forgive my brutal honesty I didn't quite get the Viking story :-)...perhaps it's just me :-)

Hope to read "you" again

F

i would love to read a story about danny but it would be good if Adam Jason and Chris was also in it

I really loved reading these stories. Just as everyone pointed out, there are loopholes. I enjoyed these stories though. You left alot on the table. Like with Adam, Ryan, Gray, and Luke! I was hoping to read up on them and see what happened. Please don't end the series. We need to know what happened!

Very good story