by Feral_Intelligence
I loved the teasing back and forth. The way it was described made it feel like I was there. Wish I was there actually... (: I will be coming back to this one!
I agree with the others, it could have been great. I'd have enjoyed it if she mentioned Rachel, but he was secretly fantasizing about Amanda. Hopefully she'll return the favor in the next part and she'll beg him to cum on her face as she squirts.
But it could have been great. The ending was just a place you stopped writing though, not a place where the story wrapped up. More work on the conclusion and you definitely would have earned a five.
please write more.....Devin says that Amanda will owe him.....write something on this lines...
waiting for it..
p.s - this was a really good read..