All Comments on 'What Did Happen in Vegas? Ch. 04'

Great story, wonderful charector development.

Like a lot of your work, it was a fun mystery, but didn't really fill in enough of the emotional content in their final confrontation with each other (dealing with the feelings of her affair, his feelings towards Brad, etc.) which is really the main point of this genre. Why not let go of the cheating wives theme and just start writing mystery thrillers?

So the big picture was David and Bill...how smalltime... they were side characters to the major thrust of the story.

And too bad Brad got off...and off ...and off..

Just for the record, I am disappointed....what was that all about...no apology to Lisa...no.."Hey lisa...sorry i tried to fuck you"...or "Hey Tom, I am sorry I tried to fuck Lisa.."....just I am sorry....lame...very lame..conclusion...not even real...

Then fast forward to happy times...get real sir...

Not really a good ending. The two of them acted like prideful morons all the way through and never really matured in any way. Would they still act like prideful morons if some situation like this were to happen again? I would guess they probably would. There are a couple of obligatory "boy was I stupid" apologizes, but there's no sign they actually did learn from their mistakes in any meaningful way.

Then there were all the remarkable contrivances to keep the plot going: cell battery was dead, missed your call, I forgot to tell you, etc etc...

Overall, an emotionally unsatisfying conclusion despite them getting together because there's little evidence they learned anything or really came to grips with anything. Things are too simplistic. For instance, Lisa feels bad about what happened, and that's about all we learn of her feelings.

Obviously, a lot of effort went into this, and that is appreciated. But it could have been so much better.

so his ex-best freind came on to his wife for weeks, months - with her conniving - followed by their having intercourse - but he lets him get away with it? no revenge? still working with him? riiiight.

and his (adulterous cheating) wife wants a baby, while he is beat up, just after nearly destroying their marraige, and he says sure! riiiight.

and everyone is wunnerful! riiiight.

you needed to put in some long term consequenses.

Don't listen to these morons...IT WAS FANTASTIC...I always love it when the couple works everything out and forgiveness abounds...GREAT Job once again.

Brad was hunting Tom's wife according to the earlier stories.

Tom should have accepted his resignation at the very least.

This was an enjoyable read. Thank You

I gotta tell you, I've never labored through a story so much in all my life. There were way too many times that I could not convince myself of the plausibility of what you concocked as you went along. The largest illogic was that so many employees of the same company were all working so hard during office hours to do their own things. I'm surprised the company didn't sink before it could go public. And then there's Lisa .... She just takes off when she wants, is out of the office more than in the office, is too stupid to figure things out until she's slapped in the face with evidence, is so irrational that she decides to get even with her husband rather than trust him ... and I could go on but I won't. I'm beginning to make as much sense as your story, so I'll conclude by saying "I'm so glad it's over!"

too many contrived coincidences to be believable.

And, as anon below says: " (Lisa) is too stupid to figure things out until she's slapped in the face with evidence, is so irrational that she decides to get even with her husband rather than trust him."

She is so good at reading Tom's body language she fails to see he is telling the truth? Do tell.

I am getting heartily sick of stories where the wife digs herself a hole almost to the centre of the earth, then is miraculously resurrected when the stupid husband decides to take 99.999999% of the blame for something he did not do. This guy is so stupid for taking her back he deserves all he will get in the future.If she truly loved him she would never have accepted quite so easily that he cheated

Boring as batshit, this overworked scenario we are being force fed lately.

KK seems to be now working to a formula and his work is deteriorating as a result.

All the sychopants fawning over illogical stories such as this one unfortunately only serve to ensure all we get is more of the same instead of some improvement.

One problem is that the phones in this story were used as a kind of anti-Deus ex Machina - if a phone had been answered, if a message had been listened to, if a phone had been turned on or had not run its batteries down - then everything could have been resolved in a lot less than four chapters.

Just about everyone I know who owns a cell phone is almost fanatical about keeping track of who is calling, when they called, etc. They never turn their phones off for days at a time. And if there is a light blinking on my answering machine, there is a message counter also displayed showing how many messages are being held.

The wife in this story for a while was desperate to talk to her husband. But she never used her cell phone to call him, which would have shown her that her phone was off, and she never checked her messages on her home phone, when she would have received the police notification about her husband's accident.

These dunder-headed actions hurt the rest of the story. And if this guy is smart enough to be a Company President, why wasn't he smart enough to tell his own wife about the evenings with the client at the strip clubs.

The reason - if he had, there would have been no story. But it just is too contrived to be believed.

True understanding about men vs womens emotions and true interpretations about real-life situations - the story is just a vehicle for expression + the plot was good ... loved the Timeline

I hope you like my 'Hammersmith Chronicles', coming soon ... Jezzz! These stories are so easy to fantasize about, yet so difficult to actually write for others' enjoyment

Well Done KK - You're the man!

each installment was eagerly awaited!thank you for a great read!

Good story. Maybe not your best but you have so many of your own stories to compete with.

Thank you for the story

I really enjoyed the story; that’s the point, after all. Yeah, there were contrivances, but without them, no story would exist. They weren’t egregiously ridiculous, so they fit and they worked. Thank you for a story with a proper ending and one that had an explanation for all the things that happened. The reader is not left with a boatload of question marks.

I do disagree with characters keeping trivial secrets at the potential cost of their marriage but, then again, it probably happens all the time in real life. Without some sort of premise, no story would exist. A story is really a series of devices used to create tension between characters. Without tension, we’d all be complaining about the story being so bland.

While I have considerable agreement with Kanga40’s comment, I believe all books and stories have been written, all movies have been made and all notes and songs have been played. There is truly nothing new under the sun. It’s just the arrangements that are different.

I’d like to gratefully thank K.K. for his work in the past and this story in particular.

Phil

I really liked this story KK and the ending was pretty much as I expected.

My reactions are basically on the story as a whole and not just this ending. When confronted by the evidence Tom should not have risked his marriage. He should have told the truth. Lisa cheated. She is guilty of that no matter what Tom did and there is a price to pay for that. Brad betrayed his friend and there is a price to be paid for that too.

I believe Tom and Lisa should be back together BUT in my mind the healing process would have to take a lot more time than it did. Also, because of his redeeming actions I believe Brad and Tom should ultimately renew their friendship.

Other than those things, I think the story was wonderful. Congratulations on another fine read KK. Your works are greatly appreciated.

Charleybear

Wow what a story very well written and a great ending

I have to say that I looked forward to each chapter. You slowly built the tension until I was almost angry that I couldn't finish the story at the end of chapter 3. However as soon as I began the last chapter I knew how the story was to be resolved. It was all downhill from that point. I felt that you could have kept us more interested until the end if there was some doubt on certain aspects of the story; perhaps his marriage, or his promotion could have been less certain. But with all the good guys working on getting Werner and Ransom, the outcome was a forgone conclusion.

Still, this was well written and I enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing.

Bill

A masterful tale of suspense and intrigue! Written in the finest traditions of Stephen Coonts and J.A. Jance. Thank you so much and I look forward to your next tome.

Can somebody tell how KK put this story on eroticstories.com in complete form, but in literotica cut it up to four chapters?

a failure to communicate...

God I have waited for SO LONG to use that.

Scary enough it is true but...

We also have three characters, the, well, messed up hubby; his BRAIN DEAD wife, and in the secondary role the slime masqurading as a Friend.

Hubby.

Ok so he promised a client/new pal something. All good. BUT he has a wedding band on. THAT changes things. In my life there is a simple rule. What ever you tell me, you are telling my wife. And what ever you tell her you are telling me.

There is this Bibical quote that I am going to mangle here about "Let no man sunder what God had made one."

When you are talking to one member of a married couple you aint talking to 'him' or 'her' but half the marrage. The Married couple superseds the individual.

Now i can understand him being stunned AND him being mad that she doesn;t trust him wen he is telling the truth that he never cheated. BUT those are secondary.

Wife:

Kanga, I love you. I really do. You hit the nail in the head.

The main problem to me is the Applebees pictures.

She KNOWS he was in the hospitol at that time. BUT she makes up excuses for the pictures.

Thay HAVE to have got the time wrong. The pics are right, HE is wrong, HE is lying.

She gets a MAJOR bitch slap that something is up and she turns it around to make Hubby WORSE!

She was LOOKING for a reason to cheat. And why?

Slime bucket.

Ok...IF he had heard that hubby had cheated and then went out with her and that started it all...I might have some sympathy.

But he didn;t

he's been 'working' her for months. Breaking company policy, (and she, the intellegent woman knows this and lets him, hummmm...why?).

Simply, he was trying to get her to have an affair with him.

GREAT FUCKEN FRIEND THERE!!!

He was doing all the tricks. And using his knowledge of them to let him do it better. Unsing 'insider information' to get at her.

And she was falling for him.

How do we know this?

Who did she pick to get revenge with?

When the hubby KNEW she did something with him and was hurt who did she invite into their house?

Who did she think was over reacting? "Oh hunny I just slept with him, nothing for you to get mad about."

No matter what she says, at that time her heeart was splitting...and the lion's share was leaving the hubby for the ass of a friend.

Can I see hubby and Wife reparing the relationship? Yes...with hard work and counciling and years of therapy.

Not with a bad sex session.

Can I see hubby/wife and jackass getting back to even a normal friendship.

Nope.

He was a shark and broke so many 'rules' of friendship and trust it is unforgiveable.

"but he redeamed himself at the end."

Yup and got to keep his job. The revenge on the guy is that he loses not only HER but his best friend. And he knows it was all his fault.

I know not the blood and guts that most people want but hey...it's there.

ah well KK, I will eagerly await your next tale.

Excellent ending,but isn't there something in the wedding ceremony abouut forsaking all others?Unless I've got it wrong it doesn't add but if you think your partners playing around you can do the same.Lisa should be slung out,and 'best'friend Brad given what he deserves-a bloody good beating!

don't think so. come on... really??? drwildcard thinks this is ok?? DISAPPOINTLY LOUSY!!!

Not up to K.K.'s usual level of story telling. Other than it was much longer than necessary when considering what the story was all about, it had two serious flaws.

Someone has already used the word I was going to use: contrived. But that best describes my opinion. The story was too, too contrived. The characters didn't react as similar people would have reacted in similar circumstances. All the various lives and all the various events were too intermeshed to be believeable. The story line could have been developed without so many "contrived" situations.

The other serious flaw was Tom fluctuated between astounding brilliance and utter stupidity. These are not qualities of a corporate presidental candidate. His wife suffered from the same fluctuations. Must have been the water at their house.

I have learned to expect better from K.K. It was only because he was the author that I stuck with it to the end. Had it been written by most anyone, I would have quit long before the ending.

Oftentimes, I feel jealous of readers who point out a fundamental flaw in a story, and then maintain (mostly by the rating) that their level of satisfaction from the story has not been diminished. I wish I could do that. Take for example the same point which Charleybear and others recognized. I refer of course to the initial “complication” which is supposed to set the whole plot into motion, the presumably unbreakable oath of silence reg. the husband’s whereabouts. How on earth do you square Mr. corporate executive, clearly sharp and highly skilled in negotiations and problem solving, with a sudden inexplicable diminished capability? You can’t. He would know how to call his client and tell him: ‘look, something unexpected came up, like- my life is about to fall apart! Would you mind if I just tell my wife (under a severe oath of secrecy) that we went to some strip bars?!’

Or take the wife, she works in accounting - but never heard of fraud and doctored documents?

As to the almost comical levels of vain pride and stubbornness, which both spouses demonstrate. How are we supposed to believe that they were ever able to function as a couple before the crisis? With these traits (and these are traits, you don’t wake up with them one morning as if you grew a pimple on your face),

you created a contradiction. On one hand, background information of good marriage and top notch jobs; on the other, Characters which could never fulfill the background you gave them with the kind of poor judgment and poor social skills they demonstrate. So one of the two had to be changed upon reviewing your draft - either by adjusting their background to their actual performance (troubled marriage; low skilled jobs) or else by building much more solid case to stir the plot. You chose neither.

If I could just forget the problems with the characters – all the rest would have been wonderful (I am serious). The structure of parallel narratives which calls for ongoing comparisons (almost like in poetry); the seamless alterations between dialog and narrator speech; the introduction of the “log style” with the time frames, all keep the long reading fresh and intriguing. I wish I could control those rushes of annoyance when again and again I felt that al this wonderful craftsmanship is almost “much ado about nothing”

there is always this tension between trying to make the story believable and interesting at the same time.

Speaking as one of the band of readers: why can't we accept as believable things that happen in real life. My brother-in-law married my sister-in-law! Really! If I put that in a story I'd get roasted. See the item below for a actual example of the incredibly stupid things people do, that readers would never believe in a story.

So, I'll put my writer's hat on: K.K. picked a plot device that maybe wasn't as strong as it could have been. Can a reader suspend belief for a bit and take in the whole story? Was it entertaining? Was it enjoyable? Do you throw the baby away 'cause it made a little boo boo?

Yeah, I noticed that his refusal to say what he had done was maybe stretching it a little. Did it bother me? Yeah, for about three seconds and then I read the rest of the very well written story that entertained me for a while. As a reader, that's all I ask, and I generally give high scores for that!

DJ

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Charles D. McKinley, 25, of Brooklyn, N.Y., had four weeks of vacation coming, so he decided to visit his parents in DeSoto, Texas. Rather than buy a plane ticket for $320, McKinley, a shipping clerk, packed himself into a shipping crate and air-expressed himself home, charging the fees to his employer. When the crate was delivered to his parents' front step, McKinley pushed out of the box and shook hands with the "shaken and frightened" delivery driver. The driver called the police. After an investigation by the FBI, the U.S. attorney, postal inspectors, the Federal Aviation Administration and the Transportation Security Administration, McKinley was charged as a stowaway, a federal misdemeanor. (Dallas Morning News)

After reading DJ's comment I came across this little gem in the news.

"LONOKE, Arkansas (AP) -- The mayor was arrested in a corruption probe, the police chief is accused in a drug-making scheme, and the prosecutor says the chief's wife took prisoners from jail to have sex with them -- and more arrests could be coming."

Now there is something you don't see every day and might have trouble believing if you read it in a story on this site. The police chief's wife gives a whole new meaning to conjugal visits.

Apparently, what seems unbelievable to some is real life to others.

(or Why Probability in life and in fiction are not the same)

Once and again I read examples which illustrate that real events could be most improbable, yet real stories. I could not agree more. I realize that real life surpasses all imagination.

My comments about credibility in literature, have very little to do with this issue though. In order to establish credibility in literature, both writer, then reader have to work through the parameters set by the author in each story. So, external realities do not matter much, at least not directly. We have to work with the directives that the author set for us. We simply can not comprehend any story without directives from the author. We totally rely on the author, both in terms of the general rules of the universe of the story - including probabilities, and in terms of the personalities of the characters etc. in order for the story to make sense we all expect it to be consistent within its own universe.

If the writer tells us: ‘this character is a big shot corporate man’, then that’s what me as a reader am working with. If in addition to that the writer would have created an image which projects that in this story nothing is predictable or probable, I would have worked with that too. In this story he does say the first and does not, IMO, create such a directive for the second. So when suddenly the hot shot husband seems unable to pick up a phone and call a client I could not enjoy the story as much.

lol

at this rate, I think I'll start reading Just Plain Bob's Slutty Sussie stories! at least Bob's are short, 1-2 pages only, with little or no expectation of any kind; except that there's gonna be lots of err sexy humping going on, almost nonstop, like his/her stories on a daily basis,,,,

seriously, I mean, this actually hurt my little head when I tried to phinish it, being that it's a KK story!

don't know y'all but I think the REAL KK's on vacation, likely down by Tijuana, south of the border, drinking Tequila or some other olive-derived substance down there!

so, Tom becomes the big shot at the company and Linda gets pregnant immediately after all this "miscommunication," eh? KK, you gotta be shittin' me, right? lol!

You know something? I hesitated to comment before, but even a K.K. story that's not quite as good as others he has written, is still better than the majority of tales on this site. A new story by K.K. is something I always look forward to.

This seems more like your earlier stuff. Brain-dead females, and wussy husbands.

A little to long and (as useual)hubby's a wimp.

I`m so Happy about Tom and Lisa he deserved that promotion

i kept saying he couldn`t have cheated on Lisa i hope you continue with another side of that story.

Thoroughly enjoyed the story.. Of course we believed he didn't mess around in Vegas but what was his lie and why?. And then he didn't try to explain the photos as fake to Lisa, either. It was too bad, very unfortnate, that she allowed Brad to go as far as he did.. It is a well contrived story and the happy ending makes it a happy story..

This hero deserved better. For the life of me, I can't understand how he could forgive her lack of trust. I can't understand how he could forgive the way she treated him. I guess some men are just masochists. The wife is remorseful, but she brushes aside what she did. The husband loves his wife, so he brushes aside what she did. And so they live happily ever after...

If Tom is a typical example of Corporate America man and

If Lisa is a typical example of Corporate America wife then

May God save Corporate America

Another wimp. He doesn't have the balls to survive corporate life.

Great writing, but what an unbelievable outcome. How much more dishonor and face-to-face disrespect can this husband take and still find a way to forgive his wife so quickly? When you hear about a story similar to this in real life, it is unbelievable, so how can a reader be expected to believe it in a story? The contrived ending wastes the otherwise outstanding writing.

I don't understand why any of the commentaters would comment like this story is any way like real life! If anything this story was close to real life. People make mistakes. People aren't perfect. K.K. wrote about it in a very realistic way in my opinion. Anger. Pride. Mis-communication. Selfishness. All were in this story. Well represented. Tom a wimp? Not hardly. He was the first to lie. Did Lisa cheat? What is the line crossed to constitute cheating? A kiss? A toungue kiss? Groping of clothed genitals? Groping of bare genitals. Genitals touching genitals? Penetration? Orgasm? Ask a past president. Ask your minister. Ask your mother. Lisa and Tom both let anger and pride get in the way of the truth. I thought it was a good representation of real life. Life is complicated. Don't you fucking idiots know that true love conquers all? Now, enough said about the gist of the story. Very well written K.K. It was good to read a longer story after just plain bobs short, seemingly incomplete stories. Thanks for the entertainment!!

If K.K had published this under humor and satire then I might have enjoyed it. The characters were too unbelevable. Tom Maintaining his lie and letting all that happened happen. He should have called Koonze right away and got permission to tell his wife. OH Lisa...yes now there is a real wife. She gets an uncollabrated email and pictures and is ready to fuck another man...Real fidelity...The only characters that were true to form were the conspirators because they were trying to hide something. Readers deserve somethinbg better than a hack writer tryinbg to make a story out of nothing. Heaven help you...

Good story as usual from K.K. but I think that Tom should kick her out. Basically, she wants his best friend and down the road she'll want to try Brad on for size again. She still defended Brad even after she admitted to Tom that she had sex with him. She even invited Brad into the home and then defended him as a good friend to her husband as Tom sat on the floor with blood running out of his mouth. Even at the end she didn't have bad words to say about good old Brad. It's likely, Tom will do something that she doesn't like in the future and she'll run back to Brad. It doesn't say much about the marriage to begin with if the wife jumps in bed with her husband's best friend at the first sign of trouble. Granted it is just a story, but Tom should call Brad and his wife together and tell them that they can have each other and that he will go on with a new start in life. But it is K.K.'s story and I look forward to his next one showing up on the wbsite.

Sure it is a bit over the top, but it was fun and absorbing.

I can not believe the negative comments and votes of some of the readers.

Possibly the fact that K.K. has only published two more stories since this one corelates with the negative commentary on the three parts of the stories and on the next ones...

Gentlemen we are driving off our best authors if you can not praise them stick to pointing out technical problems.

LONG AND DUMB

A wife that does not love, lust for, respect, and honor her husband is no wife at all. Trust is the bsis of marriage and business. If there is no real trust there is no contract, marriage or otherwise. Reconciliation at any cost is never a good choice and taking back a shrew that tries to stab you in back is even worse.

subjugation and humiliation is one of the best writers in Lit, then Lit is doomed and the writing here is world class trash. I have read several of this writers stories and I have only found one that I half way liked. Not reading such cuck based writing is no loss.

I enjoyed it very much even though the suspense was killing me. Great, well thought out plot. However, many of the comments saddens me. Although, one hit the mark when Anon stated that fiction mirrors life. Just like the comments reflect the personality and character of the people writing them. I’m afraid that if people don’t start learning how to be better parents then more and more people are going to turn out like these insecure and hateful minded people that lack the self-confidence to do anything meaningful with their lives. The only way they can get pleasure is by criticizing those that try and accomplish something in their lives. Well, that and drugs but hurting others is definitely one of their favorite pastimes. Sad, Sad people. Nice work K.K. Thank you for all your hard work just to bring some enjoyment to those of us that can appreciate it. Pay no attention to the nay sayers. Just pity them fore they will never amount to anything and blame others for their lot in life.

And that is of Lisa's betrayal. No matter how you decorate it with all kind of pretty flowers it is still cheating and Brad was as much to blame as she was. How you can let these two become parents is way beyond me. For that I had to give you a zero. If these people are the ones that are the custodians of our money and business then it's easy to see how our economy melted down.

Pretty good; got better. HOWEVER, she still owes a LOT of ass kissing to make up. There was NOT enough conviction to forgive her for all the stuff she did, and that she had REALLY learned from her mistakes. She got too much of a clean slate, too easy. Otherwise you would have gotten five stars!

To sum this story up, it was about two people with the I.Q. of ten.

this was terrible. she not only didnt trust him, but she fucked brad. call it whatever you want, but he was inside her and she treated tom like shit. there is no way she can be forgiven. fuck you kk because i hate your stories. i mean seriously, does nobody realize how fucked up this whole story is? how that bitch didnt actually apologize? yea, maybe he should have said what he did, but he gave his word, which means something and his wife should have trusted him. even worse, she hooked up with his supposedly best fried who also didnt believe toms innocence.

Good story over all. KK is a great writer even if I don't agree with were the story ends up. I thought that he was too eager to forgive her in the end. I also feel she was dug in pretty far to be forgiven that easily. The ending on this one however was good. Reconciliation was justified and believable. What Lisa did with Tom was forgivable with work but still forgivable none the less. It would have been nice if that part of the story had been played out more even if that meant some of the other parts had to be cut.

Still it's one of KK's better works.

Tyr

I think the people who dont get the dynamics of what happened in the story were never married, or just very bitter, I can see the reactions of both Tom, and Lisa and their actions totally on the mark. Trust issues are hard to explain and even harder for someone who has not had to deal with them to understand. They were both trying to misrepresent themselves because of some preceived reason. Speaking personally, the actions of Lisa are understandable in this given circumstances. Today, with all the electronic devices available, it would not be a streatch to make anyone into a preceived cheater. For those who can not accept what Lisa did and Tom's reaction, and Lisa's guilt and Tom forgiveness, then all I can say is you don't really know the meaning of true love, Today's moral compass seems to be spinning a little faster than it was last century. Sometimes you really have to fight for "till death do you part." We are all just human, and anyone and I mean anyone can fall prey to someone in a time when you are at you emotional low. Being human just means we all do things we regret sometimes. Look at the heros on television in a day of 42 minute marriages. It takes real courage, and compassion and a love that is bigger than yourself and a willingness to fight for that marriage of a lifetime. I wish I would have realized this myself when i gave my ex that untimatum. I know now I will look deeper into a persons soul before I judge them and then execute the love we have had. I cried tears of joy with the ending, Turly a great story compared to some of the other junk on Literotica.

Excellent work, I loved it. Kept my attention all the way through. Maybe you should consider writing more mystery novels instead of just erotica. This was truly your best, so far.

I knew when I read Winterfoxx's sorry little tale that I read something similar before but just could not remember who wrote the story, now the penny dropped when I reread this

Nice one KK

Wow this was a good but frustrating story on a married couple that had trouble communicating. The fact that the husband had promised not to say anything about what happened in Vegas must of been very hard especially with all that was happening around him. I enjoyed the story and and glad that your shared it with us. Thank you.

Brad was a bit of a prick but consider that IF he did believe the pictures then he was being a friend to Lisa, with benefits.

Lisa, on the other hand, immediately doubted her loving husband and never really gave him a chance. Her decision that Brad was more important to her than her husband by allowing Brad into Tom's home AFTER being asked to cut him out of their lives was one of the ultimate disrespects she could have done.

Even AFTER he is AGAIN seriously injured by trying to get down the stairs to confront Brad, she STILL doesn't get it.

Sorry, she's a CUNT and he should have tossed her out of his life just as soon as he got the Presidency of the company.

Brad should be shown the door IMMEDIATELY.

It is good to be King.

Your stories have plenty of angst, because they are extremely frustrating. They are complex, detailed and above all, UNBELIEVABLE!

You HAVE to make things more realistic! The husband in this case, having arrived home in chapter 1 and seeing Lisa crying at the kitchen table--if he was who you painted him out to be--had to realize that he needed to be straight with her from the get-go. And even if he did give her the "reading in my room" bullshit story, he still could have corrected it then and there--with a little damage done, of course. Because of this, the rest of the story is implausible.

The husband's steadfast refusal to reveal the lesser lie while allowing the greater lie to be believed, is illogical.

The story falls down on its very foundations.

used is for 7th grade kids. The dialog is so stilted, for people with small English vocabularies. Quite unbelievable for people who are supposed to be executives. A spelling editor is needed for a few mistakes.

Such a clever and intelligent wife just waited for a chance to ride some strange dick, so it was very convenient to believe all the bullshit about her husband while encorouging Brad to snif at her skirt until she will be geting even to "save" her marriage.

In short, ouragious piece of crap, never mind the language

Chapters 2 and 3 were garbage but this chapter is good and kind of makes up to the two worthless chapters.

Pretty good story, but the myriad coincidences, miscommunications and lack of communications all contribute to a highly implausible story .

I believe that if you had kept it simpler and omitted much of the contrived problems, this would have been a much better story. However, I concede that this is just my personal opinion and many will disagree.

Brad. What kind of a "best friend" is he? His character's abrupt changes in attitude were almost schizophrenic. He went from being a loyal friend to a scheming scoundrel and then to a humbled idiot. The fact that he felt the loss of his friendship with Tom for a risky tryst was just so out of character.

And Tom was an idiot for not simply admitting the truth to his WIFE. Who cares if she knew about the strip club? Tom should have considered her as his confidant... Her reactions were more justifiable than Tom's irrational responses to her behaviour.

I think a plot twist with Lisa having full-blown sex with Brad would not have affected the plot all that differently, purely because Tom's idiocy was more of a reason for it to be a plausible actuality.

She should be carrying Brad's child! :-)

... Tom's a pussy, Lisa's a whore and Brad's a piece of shit. Now, there's your whole fucking 4 chapter story in one fucking sentence. By the way, do you think you could make at least some of your characters semi-intelligent instead of the halfwit retards that these three are.

Hubby is an idiot and cuck in waiting. His wife is a whore and his best friend is piece of trash to be castrated ASAP.

And KK is cuck and writer of smut

hey kk fuck the haters i loved the story one of my fav. good job!

hey kk fuck the haters i loved the story one of my fav. good job!

hey kk fuck the haters i loved the story one of my fav. good job!

hey kk fuck the haters i loved the story one of my fav. good job!

I like the story gave it 5 stars, but have to hate on Brenda as a name for a baby. Sorry.

...although in my oppinion you got caught a bit too much in details during ch.02.

5* - and probably one of your best. Thank you for the read.

Amazing how everything came together at the end when the rest of the story was non-stop failed communication, just-missed phone calls, forgotten wallet, etc. And all because he couldn't (wouldn't?) tell his wife what happened in Vegas. It might have been better if the issues really started with the photos, but then Tom would have done the rational thing and demanded to see the photos.

Some of these characters had to be the stupidest execs around. SELLING ALL MY NTD STOCK!!!!

I tend to either really like or really hate this author's work. The Stein, Being Proactive, Wendy, That Sunday Afternoon are some of my favs. Then I read something like this...total waste of time. His actual writing is always good but the reconciliation storyline and main characters...really? Doesn't matter on how the story ends...just as long as it's SOMEWHAT believable. In this story if Lisa would have tripped and fell onto Brad's cock it would have fit in...that's how weak the story was.

She can't find a pay phone on her trip to Vegas? Can't call from the hotel? Not a well thought out plot point, that.

The ending was a cheat. Babies Ever After is a cheat. There's a lot that needed to be said about their relationship and a lot of healing that needed to be done. Suddenly he just decides he still loves her, they have sex, happily ever after!! What about the resentment he felt? What about her guilt? They have sex and suddenly everything is normal again? What about Brad?

I'm... for the most part... happy to see reconciliation here. It's clearly what you were building towards. I can live with the revenge on Brad being that he loses his best friend and loses his shot at Lisa. But where was the character growth to accompany the reconciliation? Why not show Brad's loss?

The ending did not match the buildup. I actually skimmed quite a bit through this. It was predictable, anti climactic, and had some glaring holes in the story. Overall, I liked the storyline, but by the end I was marveling at how stupid these two were. Talk about making mountains out of molehills.

just not much meat to this tale.

One thing you did well was to have managed all of these characters with unloading them all too soon or sloppily. The writing itself is good.

But you must not have a long term loving relationship, like ten, twenty, or thirty years, because no loving couple would have let all of these opportunities to fix their misundetstanding go so summarily down the tubes. That type of thing does not build tension or friction for and eventual release. It's just plain irritating. Loving couples live and breath for each other. They don't stamp around like children bitching and moaning and saying FU to the other.

But what about this Brad? What a fucking predator creep. He is too cardboard cutout. He's a good or best friend and he's gonna fuck the guys's wife. It would have been better if David Ransom had done it.

The wife AND the husband are just not likeable enough.

Again, this is similar in some respects to the dtiverson story where the wife is convinced with faked "affair" pictures to cry on the faker's shoulder and then she fucks him for days. But the great thing about THAT story is that, on the way to the conclusion there is an encyclopedic dissection of every thought, feeling, and violation of trust that the wife has commited. So in that case, at least you can try to accept the husbands conclusion.

Anyway, KK, I had serious trouble with the setup of this story, but I have read other works of yours that I enjoyed, so I will stop in now and then to read again.

"If I would have been more patient with Lisa, I could have ended this before it got out of hand.”

Yup!

Brad may be an ass, but when the chips were down he came through like a true friend. That may not buy forgiveness for what he did, but it has to be worth SOMETHING!

“Lisa helped Tom up to their bedroom and for the first time since the accident they slept together in the same bed.”

Minor point – didn’t they sleep in the same bed the night before in the hotel?

@JackWoody Re: It's Fiction

True, but GOOD fiction gives us characters that we believe in and care about!

But neither of your lead characters were very likeable people. Combine that with the fact that they seemed really dumb and it just wasn't as good as it could have been.

Not worth any rating

So the fatal flaw in this story is that when he realizes that he has been set up and the photos have been faked to sabotage his career, he has this sudden desire to go find his wife and forgive her. Why? He knew they were fake all along. He knew he was innocent, and her judgment of him as an adulterer was unwarranted. What changed? Nothing, and yet the author treats it as some kind of turning point and realization on the part of Tom. Poorly done at the end, but still five stars overall.

Brad needed some serious pain and Lisa was a cheating cunt that was never fully reprimanded for screwing around.

another "oh I forgive you honey for fucking around on me stories "what a bunch of crap

About a fucking wimp cuck named Tom and a stupid cheating cunt named Lisa.

I quote "Tom was impressed. He always knew that Lisa was intelligent " really really reallyyyy ,stopped reading right there.

where the wife cheats and the husband is written to feel it is all his fault he loves her so much he can't live without her for a minute and the first thing he wants to do is get his mouth on her pussy. Is he looking for the remnants? This writer is as bad as I've seen about no matter what the wife does the weak little pussy she is married to wants her back, right now. She doesn't even get to apologize before he's sucking cum out of her pussy, or ass I guess if that's where she's keeping it. Tried to give it a two but the counter jumped to 4. How do they rig them to do that?

So all is forgiven? What utter BULLSHIT!

any man would have told her you didnt trust me and you let another man have what was mine...you are a slut and i dont want to be with you.....why do you guys always write these guys all the same its ok if he licked your pussy or fucked you or you sucked his dick I love you ....WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT

.... the cheating WHORE wife Apologist lives "down" to his CuckyBoy ways. Time to go back to your bedroom closet Kuck Kuck and wait for the next "real man" to arrive and ASS FUCK your "loving wife" in her gaping SHIT HOLE!!!

Only thing left is to say ....... Burn in Hell Kucky!!!!!

.... oh and Lisa is STILL and cheating, CUNT!!!!

I am glad she was able to do something to him where he thought he had sex and therefore would take the credit for the baby. Why she couldn't wait is that she already had the dough rising for Brad's bun in the oven. Man is much too weak and indecisive to be the President of a large, successful company. She also had to quit because it was the only way she could keep the fact from him that the design boys were enjoying her whenever they wanted to. I normally don't enjoy this type of cuckold story, but this was more of a case of how could she not screw around on him. Women want to breed with the best genetic male they can find, at least in Loving Wives Land, and Tom was a good provider for some reason and Brad was the alpha dog type she wanted to pass his genes forward. Pretty sad.

Too long. Even the contrived mystery couldn't keep me in it. Bailed after first installment.

Shitty no man acts like this. Where's the burn the birch stories everythi by o n lw seems to be fag shit. 1 star

EXCELLENT!!!!!!!! Five stars.

K.K.

A well plotted tale with excellent character development. As a reader I would like to thank you for contributing something that was a novel approach to the general LW run-of-the mill. I also welcomed the deliberate absence of bloody cuckold wimps and slut wives stereotypes that seem to pervade this particular genre at Literotica. Cheers!

The whole story was based on a very weak reason not to tell his wife what really went on in Vegas!! Why would Koonce care if anyone found out he went to a strip club? From that very bad excuse for a story you then went and showed us what idiots both Tom and Lisa were! Then the story just got downright stupid trying to support characters that had no characteristics that anyone cared about! The End!

Overall a contrived and obvious plot, the author tried to hide information from the reader but did it in the most ham-fisted way possible.

Disappointing ending that was tied up so quickly it felt like RAAC, there was never any doubt that they would stay together which is to the story's detriment, there should at last had been some real attempt from Tom about getting a divorce or something on that vein.

Me, I'd of divorced her in a New York Minute. Without trust in any relationship, there can be no relationship. She had absolutely no trust in her husband.

Lets see, she dont believe him so she fucks his best friend to get even for something he didnt do. Then after she finds out she fucked up she is soooooo sorry and he takes her back. Then when the asshole she cheated with talks to him at the end about resigning he says oh no just keep up the good work and you will still have a job.....THIS IS THE GUY WHO LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING JUST SO HE COULD FUCK HIS WIFE........anyone else would have fired him on the spot and made it damn hard for him to get another job......just more cuck shit

such a shame your no longer around to post your cheating WHORE wife Apologist stories!!!! Oh well ... once you figure out how to get out of your bedroom closet maybe you'll ... fucking DIE ASSHOLE!!!!

How could he stay with her. She lacked the trust that a good marriage needs, as-well-as good communication between a husband and a wife.