All Comments on 'What Just Happened? Ch. 04'

Annie_00, do you have a thing against using quotations?

Another thing, writing in short chapters is not a good practice. An otherwise great erotic story just get cut into pieces.

"One" Star for this one!

Don't you get it? People don't want to be confused when they're masturbating. And the way you write is only good for making erections wither. We don't want to ponder WHO is speaking to whom because you won't use quotation marks to indicate speech.

You are a talentless submitter of garbage.

its getting better dont stop now some of us are enjoying it verey muc h

Keep up the good work I can't wait to see what happens next :)

The story line is the same old expected trannny stuff and the writing is not getting any better. Why can't the writer take advice and put proper punctuations in the script?!

Just bad writing throughout the series.

keep it up and ignore the naysayers. I don't give damn about proper grammar. My hard on stayed hard for the whole story. It is good enough to know what is going on. This isn't English class. It is Literotica and this is an erotic story. If u don't like it than move on.

You will note that all the critics seem to go on reading your stories chapter after chapter, so even they can't think it's all bad! I enjoy your series -- the lack of punctuation, especially quotation marks, gets to be part of the style, sort of an e e cummings-like trick. Therre's also a sort of breathless naive flow to it that fits in really well with the character. It's not literature but it's good erotic or even pornographic writing. Keep on truckin'!

Well, as the writer refused to take heed of constructive advice, I just show up again to appeal to his senses and continue to give him the One Star rating he deserves.

While it is a fact that there are faults with this story, some of the comments made on it are unnecessarily harsh and destructive, offering little in terms of advice. Your comment in particular, Baloney_Pony, is quite indefensibly cruel; perhaps you consider your own work too good to share with us - or is it that you are the typical critic - the self-styled arbiter of all that is good and producer, not even of garbage, but of nothing at all?

It isn't the best story I have ever read, not by a very long chalk, but you have put something of yourself into this, annie_00. Please continue to write and post for us - there is always room for improvement and I think you can do it; show your critics they are wrong!

Good luck with your new stories!

If you can't follow the writing style...don't read it and shut up!

Great story. Keep em cumming.

When I don't like the writing, I say I don't like it. I don't need somebody's permission to do so. After all, the writer does allow readers to submit public comment. And Literotica is a combination of literary and erotica. So, I'm still waiting to see if the writer will respect readers' sentiment and improve readability of his/her work.

I can't wait to read the next chapter. Please continue...

Readers have a right to say what he likes or dislike about a story here. What p_ties said was just silly. And I agree with the other guy, Literotica is not just about erotica. It's about writing literarily as well. And this writer need help in this department.

Oh, the humiliations... getting checked out as you get Tim a drink... having your face dick-slapped, and having to beg for it while dear stepsister directs you... nice!

Hence 1 Star!

Haven't come across something as badly written as this here for a long time.

As a writer, totally incompetent. Wish I could give it a 0 rating.

Great story, add a few more chapters, please.

What for? So far we have four pages of unreadable garbage! What more of this do you want, huh?

I think the story was great so far.I wont to see moor of it .

To all folks that gave a comment and hidding behind a ANONYMOUS you should be shame. I am not perfect in english but we are here to express and create what we like. If you hade some brain you should think more and think at those basic point, What my comment will bring, Is my comment is constructif, How my comment will help the author, stop to be selfish. If you feel the hat is for you and you want to answer to this post please stand in front of your word and use or creat a login otherwise keep your word for you.

Please continue with the next chapters. I do agree that it would make for easier reading if you used quotation marks but that's the only criticism. The other negative comments are uncalled for. This story is really hot. David, welcome to the "crossdressing cock-sucking sissy" club -- I've been a member for a couple of years. A couple of things -- 1. you need to find a girlie name - mine is "Cindy"; 2. you need to suck your sister's tits and lick her pussy; and 3. you need to get fucked by a well-hung man. That would really make me hard. I can't wait to read your next chapters.

Just ICK.

I hope there will be more...please

Please continue with the next chapters of this story. I enjoyed the progression from CD sissy to sissy cocksucker. I too am a sissy CD cocksucker who also loves getting fucked both by well-hung men and by my sister-in-law's big strap-on dildo. Please continue. I can't wait.

I have ever crossdressed but I really want to. I enjoy sucking a cock and really love your expressive way of describing this beautiful act. Please add chapter 5!

I love dildoes and stories time for real thing

Oh how I wish in David's place, to be sucking on a dick for the very first time how tasty, quick delicious and Meaty treat.

Wished i had a stepsister. Tom/Tammy

She abuses his trust. But there is a simple solution. Bite the end of Tim's cock off and put a stop to everything once and for all. You turned what was a good story into a pile of cow manure when you couldn't let this be about crossdressing you had to make it a gay thing. Messed up story for sure.

hope theres more commin