All Comments on 'When the Husbands are Away...'

Authors should never attempt to write a story from the point of view of the opposite gender. It never comes across well. The worst ones are when the author is a male, using the name of a female trying to write as a male (or vice versa). Some basic rules of literature come into play, even on this site. Write about what you know, and write to your audience. This one failed on so many levels.

Soon they can all share vd and a cup at the soup kitchen.

You go from 1st person to 3rd person quicker than I can short-shift a corvette.

What the fuck is wrong with you author?

And you didn't do well in language arts ... Dif you? Go try and establish a relationship with a real woman, not a latex sex dolll before you write anymore harlequin romance trash.

Why don't you, you idiot, go to Iran and publish your stories? They know how to handle a perv like you. So, hit shit and die.

I've shitted turds better than this faecal tripe...

Poorly conceived, poorly written. Completely unrealistic. Reads like a 13 year old boy's fantasy. Please either stop writing or wait until you grow up to try again. This pathetic attempt was just a complete waste of time..

u paint women as nothing more than sperm buckets with no brains, loyalty, or respect for themselves or their families. Now redeem your soul and write a story of how the husbands make louie a snub nosed, bagless, enuch, the women after they have their clits removed nothing but cum buckets with no enjoyment at all. And that wife with the 28D tits wow, can she stand?

She was a 28D?

I can not believe anyone could possibly think any woman could be that size! Lol

What a childish moronic story.

Literotica surely published this story while laughing at the author.

I have NEVER Posted a comment this negative. I prefer to normally not comment on bad or poorly written stories. But this is so bad i felt a need to let the author know to either:

A: complete high school

B: read more storie and learn to write like a mature individual

I don't think the author will be old enough to visit this site legitimately for a few years yet.

Really bad Do not quit your day job

I have to wonder if the writer used the old pick words out the and try to type them approach. I could not follow any part that I tried to read. Please stay in school, even Jethro Bodine managed to make it out the sixth grade. But Steve please pay attention to the writing lessons. English has rules and structure that must be followed or you will turn off the readers.

Top marks for making the effort. Your story did show some promise, but was seriously let down by your english syntax and grammar etc. However, don't be too put down, as most people out there don't have the nerve or the ability to attempt what you have done. Congratulations, and try again please, but maybe find someone to help you with the detail. Like many others, I suspect you might now begin to realize what school was all about, but seriously, it's not too late. It never is! Have another go, please, as there's nothing quite like it when you get it right. (Harry in VA of course, excepted)

You really need an editor. As far as the story is concerned it needs more. Preferably a good burn the bitches chapter 2. But that's just me.

remember your target readers when writting if it is a cuck story, cheating wife or a burn the bitch as you will have anonymous readers complaining no mater what

They really need to rename LW category to cucks please come here. Poorly written story.

Not my kind of story and not well written, but more than I ever did. Best of luck!

to simple, do build up and dull. Find a new hobby

In addition the dialogue needs some work - don't you think the wife was a bit hypocritical claiming her husband was not a "real man" because he had a normal cock instead of a freak of nature when she had breast implants? I guess in addition to being a self centered moron she was not a "real woman".

Sorry but you have no skills at writing at all.

"And you didn't do well in language arts ... Dif you? Go try and establish a relationship with a real woman, not a latex sex dolll before you write anymore harlequin romance trash."

I don't think anyone who misspells "did" should criticize anyone on their language arts skills.

All of you who say this story is unrealistic need to realize that this is an erotic site; being realistic is not the point. This site is supposed to show the exceptional. People do not want to read a story about normal sex. Virtually all stories here are unrealistic.

Also, instead of just calling my story "crap", civilly criticize the negative aspects so I know for next time. If you say my story is sexist because of the unrealistic women, notice that Louie is unrealistic as well.

As for having a bad story, if you want to read a masterpiece, go to your local Barnes & Nobles and look under the "Classics" section. You don't go to Literotica for dialogue or character development. You go to Literotica to get off.

Also, my lack of experience is probably due to the fact that I have this really cool thing called a life, which prevents me from having time to learn how to write perverted stories. That and my 300k-a-year job.

You people who say I should go back to school should know that I'm a Harvard summa. Looking back, my mistakes were pretty minor, unlike many of yours.

This story is pitiful and beyond bad. This author should stop wasting ink and find another way to waste peoples time. I didn't know that shoveling shit was worth $300,000 a year.

how wonderful to have a cheating cunt for a wife so you can support her in the style she has become accustomed so she can fuck anything with a cock - the women you created are worse than whores.

hated it... fkin slut

At the same time I cannot quit chuckling. The story has good potential that sounds like a middle schooler wrote it. I understand that you're a cuck Steve, but it might be a good interest for you to take a writing class. I'll keep my eyes out for another story and hopefully this time you can actually make it a little bit more in depth.

there all sluts, there are no real men, just real cock. get a video, and get them all divorced, then remove the big cock from the owner.

He knew about your new hobby and was readying to leave you for his new sexy secretary?

The words... Get Out Slut, the marriage sham is over.

One of my favorite stories. Yes, it's campy and horrible, the dialogue is horrendous and the Grammer is absolute trash. But this story takes me back to a time before high speed internet and I had to use my mind and imagination to get off. I read this story years ago and occasionally I'll look it up just to take a walk down memory lane.

When the husband's come home the cheating birches will pay.

Fucking whores. Needs another chapter where the cunts get caught