All Comments on 'When We Were Married Ch. 02C'

Four chapters in and no likable characters. Who are we to root for in this tale?

As an outsider looking in, I say 'nuke' her! Scorched earth works for me!

Buuut, trying to put myself in Bills shoes, well, I don't know what I'd do.

One thing I am sure of 'tho, is that it's a great story, and one I look out for when I log on.

DQS, thank you.

love both characters very much bill to me is a man of honor who is very single sighted. he's a man who truly and faith and trusted his wife and that is probably what lead to his world coming apart bill like many men and women thought the one safe place in life was his home and never kept his guard up. part of me wants to put all the blame on deb but there both a fault. debbie to me is a women who didn't love bill as much as he loved her. bill told her every thing or at least as much a he could about his life, but debbie to me seem to have all always kept secrets from him may it be about work or the kids this latest chapter has shown me that debbie is not a very honest or truthful person. if she would would have communicated more with bill this whole craziness wouldn't have have gone down.hope bill finds peace of mind. to me only bill closest friends truly understand the man of honor, dignity, and great moral strength he has.

hope for more chapter soon need my drama fix thank for the great read.

Good story so far, but I see one big problem: no likable characters. The husband has some positive characteristics, but it seems he let his work kill off his marriage and his relationship with his kids. Okay, people make mistakes, fine. But even now, he really isn't lifting a finger to at least try to improve his relationship with his kids, or acknowledge his flaws. Based on his recent behavior, she would be dumb to want to get back with him. Whereas the wife, geez, where do I start? She's been pretty nasty all the way through, but in this chapter her comments on the phone were really nasty and uncalled for (esp. attacking his manhood in saying he could only have sex if he paid for it). If your goal is to eventually get these characters back together, you're digging a deep hole for yourself, because it seems they both would be much better off without each other. Why do they supposedly still love each other, or ever loved each other? I don't see any reason. And if she has renewed interest in him after he loses weight and goes to the gym, that'll just reinforce how shallow she is and make any reconciliation seem hollow (unless maybe her attitude starts to turn around before she finds out how he's changing). To this marriage, I say good riddance!

Two only: 1, I love the complexity, maybe completeness, of your characters; 2, your handling of the legal aspects of the "business side" of Debbie and Doug's affair is by far the best I have seen in these stories.

The only shortcoming in character development I have noted is with your protagonist. There is still something missing about Bill; I am not sure what, but he ain't showin' all of his cards yet. Everyone else is growing nicely as story characters, not necessarily as people.

This is a good story and I will await the next installment whether it is 02D or chapter 3.

Everything else is just an expanded version of JPB stories. This is just too many words all saying the same thing ....com'on get to the point buddy....I'm wallowing, wallowing, wallowing...through too much nonsense. Remember, your "Moment of Clarity" story...I just got mine. I'll wait, let you complete this story and use the "find" button for "Lew"....everything else is gratuitious.

this whore rip your heart out and you playing goodie two shoes.no common sense.

Nice character treatment as usual. Doug's point of view was really interesting. As he came off as a rather nice guy before - apart from screwing a married gal - he might not be lying. Lots o possible twists in this story.

First, an obvious inconsistency . . . "I had made it to Carlos' gym a half dozen times during the month." Just a few paragraphs later, Bill muses that he has been going four or five times per week. Author, please read more carefully to avoid distracting contradictions like this one.

Second, there is the disparity between Bill's winning attitude in the courtroom and his wimpishness (not sure that's a word, but it sounds appropriate) when it comes to his dealings with Debbie and her fuck buddy Doug. Withholding the emails from Lew makes no sense. Then telling Lew he can't use them to win makes even less sense.

Bill is about to prosecute an elderly man for murdering his cancer-laden, suffering wife. Probably he discovered she had some life insurance or something. But the facts were clear -- she was suffering and terminal and without hope. Probably it would have been better had she been in Hospice -- an overdose there would not be unexpected. My point is, Bill is heartless when it comes to winning. Why is he so weak in defending himself against the humiliations heaped upon him by Debbie and Doug?

Most jurisdictions, by the way, would only enforce 5 years of alimony from the higher-earning spouse, especially if both made good money at comparable, professional jobs. It would not be a lifetime of alimony. Also, Debbie would not be entitled to 1/2 of his pension while keeping all of hers. The fact that she had an adulterous affair would certainly weigh against her in court. So her lawyer's demands are not plausible and this hurts the credibility of the story.

This sub-chapter of the story attempts to portray Doug in a little better light. He's smart, well-published, hard-working in his field, and he could have had 20 other pussies but he forsook them all to be with Deb. My heart bleeds for him in sympathy. Let's really look at his actions -- he is a love-'em and leave-'em womanizer, in love with his own 8" dick, who in his own words sees nothing wrong with seducing an attractive, older woman in whom he senses vulnerablity due to a stale marriage. He's like a predator chasing down a wounded victim -- there is no nobility in this; he did not do it for compassion but rather for self-interest.

What "noble" purpose(s) would he have in pursuing a woman 12 years his senior? He loves her? Give me a break. He wants to marry her? She's just about too old to have children with him. They have a lot in common? Oh, yeah, they work together. Clearly, he has a thing for older women (his own self-confessed history confirms this). Clearly, he satisfies his own ego in breaking up a marriage -- this is very wrong, no matter how you cut it.

I'm perplexed that the author makes Bill look weak even when Bill should really have some backbone. I'm disappointed that we are looking at a reconciliation even though the hurt is so deep, no logical person would believe it. And Bill, apparently smart enough to see his ex-boxer-friend for help with getting into shape, is too dumb to see a doctor for the little blue pills, not to mention some counseling for depression.

One last quibble. Carlos Lopes set a record for the world time for running a marathon at age 38. Why is 42 portrayed in this story as "old, or middle-aged?" I think this is inaccurate even though Bill did let his body get out of shape. 42 is not that old -- please stop insulting all those older than 28! Thanks for writing and please write some more soon -- dying from the suspense (I'm over 40 so I don't have much time left . . . ).

i don't even read carefully any more. just skimming to some points I think interesting; and there's not a whole lot. the author's usual proclivity for making the man/husband wishy washy, stupid, and downright mindless (throug the supposed constant introspection, after each and every lecture from the cheating wife, about how sorry she feels for him: <p>

"I may be fat, ugly, and having no sex life, but I am not about to pay for sex, as she suggested. And I can take anger, ridicule, but not tearful charitable thoughts like that, about me! hmmmph!" <p>

my god, author, i mean, seriously... WTF!

Poor Debbie – what has she got herself into – moving from a husband who neglected her but loved her to a self-centred alpha male who's entire endeavour was to complete the destruction of a fragile marriage where neither partner would communicate. Every utterance of Doug, was an expression of control, not love – Debbie should be humiliated. She will only grow if she can kick him out.

Is this the point of the story – someone is going to suffer, and Bill will have his chance to prosecute. But who?

Enough already !!!! Either get them divorced or have an all-out drag down court fight so that they either get their comeuppance or just walk away. Let's get this LOOOOOONG story finished !!!!!!

and i doubt there is a man alive that would take back that whore after what she did. also, her ex is a fucking ADA, so its obvious he would know that the bitch cant get everything, which is what you implying. true, adultery doesnt necessarily stop alimony,but it does change it. i mean seriously, it makes no sense hubby can be such a hard ass in court but such a pussy outside in the real world. also, the stories of how his kid fucked the college neighbor at 13 (saturatory rape) and his daughter possibly getting raped at 15, both seem to be pretty important things a father should know. lets get real, just because a parent should know most of what their kid does, they physically cant know everything. thats why it helps when the othe spouse fucking talks to them!! so now we know the steady decline in their marriage started yrs ago, yrs before doug. we also know the doug started out debs "friend" with the sole intention of fucking her and her tits, but somewhere along her seduction, he realized he actually liked her and maybe they could form some kind of relationship. its clear that deb still has feelings for her ex and is beginning to doubt what shes doing with doug but whats not clear is why the fuck didnt deb actually listen to dougs little rant? because he basically said he can get any woman he wants, them after he fucks them, moves on, and he literally just said he wouldnt hit on her 17 yr old daughter because if he can not fuck all the hot young talent at college, he thinks he can not fuck the daugher. and then he said there are at least 10 good students with tits almost as nice as hers that would love to fuck him but he refrainded because he met her. thats a bit contradictory dont ya think?

I found my fav char in this "Lew" very resolved everything expected from an attorney. Very observing and smart. About Love - Your definition is very confusing. You can love somebody who is bad character, you can love somebody hates every person on the earth, you can love somebody who is murderer, thieve, drunk, cheater, druggist but never someone who hates YOU, and does not even try to hide it.

As usual a good job. Like this story and your work. Normally I don't comment on characters or their actions but feel I must.

For my own selfish desires, I hope Doug isn't going to be sympathetic character. His frank discussion about his feelings for her scare me. I can only hope that him admitting he set out to seduce her will make Deb stop and think. I hope that his rant about not screwing any others is BS.

Please don't make him a misguided hero. He's an ass of the highest magnitude. I hope Bill makes him pay and pay and pay.

Thanks for your hard work and keep them coming.

What would be wrong by bringing readers too close? The more realistic the better the story, right? Are you saying the story as an illusion should not be made too realistic? I'm confused.

Harry in chapter 1 was the 1st to notice this.... and after readings this new chapter I have to agree.

Not only is Bill still being portrayed as flat out stupid but he never figured out the signficance of the shaved pussy and he held out the emails from his own attorney?

why? this is not some embrasssed blue collar guy or suburban housewife but an experienced DA for christ's sake.

One of the best movies I've ever seen--and an excellent book, to boot--was The Godfather. Think about it: A book/movie where all of the "heroes" are murderous Mafia thugs with their warped version of honor. And they were runaway successes.

Take Gone With the Wind. Scarlett was a bitch, Rhett was a domineering, sexist out to take Scarlett even when she was married to others, and Ashley Wilkes and Kennedy (Scarlett's 2nd husband) were jello-spined toadies. Still, a compelling story.

In short, not only do characters not have to be likeable for a story to be good, but it's their imperfections that make them stronger characters. Would I personally play this differently if I were Bill? Maybe, but I've never been in his shoes. And Debbie? She's now seeing that regardless of how hot she is at 40, her 17-year old daughter can evoke a stronger, quicker reaction. Yep, Deb, it does suck getting older.

Still, this story is better for the imperfections of the main characters. It's better because it's more believable. Unlike most stories on this site--and particularly in this category--Debbie isn't the mindless slut who just had to have a bigger cock. Bill's devotion to work, which was his way of showing devotion to his family as well, led to the communication breakdown and the ultimate breakdown of the marriage. Neither is perfectly virtuous, and it's left to the reader to surmise who is ultimately responsible for the deterioration of the marriage.

And that's what good stories do: They make the reader actually think. They don't pose issues in stark contrasts of black and white, but brush in varying shades of gray to make the reader think even more.

If you want clear cut good guys and clear cut bad guys, read a comic book. If you want the complexity of life where you are given the option of picking the good guy and the bad guy--or, as here, the real guilty party and the less guilty party--you can keep reading this tale.

Bill has been going to a regular gym and a boxing gym.

Now, on to my take on things.

Lew is smart. He knew that Bill was hiding something else and the emails came to light. Bill's refusal to go the distance with the emails is because he realizes that he does not wish to destroy Debbie. She still needs to raise his kids, even though she has done a wonderful job of keeping some very important events in their lives from him. She is setting up a pattern of deceit that apparently is a significant personality flaw. She has manipulated events of the past so that Bill has been effectively removed from helping to raise his children and in the process has made him look like an idiot in their eyes. She carried on a seduction with Doug that made Bill look like an idiot in the eyes of their friends, collegues, and others. Bill again had no chance until it was too late. How many other situations of the past few years has she manipulated to make herself look and feel good about herself at the expense of her husband?

Doug admits that he has his own personality flaw. He likes older women and is very good at manipulating situations so he can attain them. He has already had at least one serious relationship with an older woman and is doing it again. He apparently has no qualms about seducing older women for his own self gratification, married or not, but it is backfiring on him this time, because he really wants Debbie to realize that he is falling in love with her. He has a major problem because he is still too immature in his methods of trying to ingratiate himself with Debbie's kids, or is he just leaving his options open? His other major obstacle to overcome is his admission that he waged a seduction campaign to get her from the onset, and that he became her friend for a particular reason... to fuck her. He is trying to point out the hopelessness of her trying to maintain a civil relationship with Bill, eventhough she still has feelings for him, because she has totally destroyed their marriage and he saw it in Bill's eyes. The only decision she has to make now is if she wants to continue on with her life with him, or look for someone else. But, again, she has to do something that she has ingrained in her personality; that is that she has to stop playing games. I don't think that Doug will wait around very long for her answer, because he knows that they will have to get married to re-establish his career with UNF, or he will have to move on to another college in another part of the country in order to maintain his career.

I would look forward to Debbie dropping all objections and demands to her divorce in the next chapter. She is starting to realize exactly what a mess she has made of her life, and how thoroughly she has destroyed her marraige. Surely she can't believe that she truely loves Bill, she takes every opportunity to humiliate him. It would be idiotic of her to try to force a civil divorce on her terms and keep playing Doug along without getting more serious with him. Forget the dangers of a new relationship, that is what she wanted and she should damn well work for it, if she wants it. Debbie needs to walk away from her marriage, whether she want to or not, because there would only be pain for both she and Bill if she doesn't. If Doug knew of Debbie's machinations, he would forget running to the other end of the country, he would run to another country!

As calculating as Debbie is, it would not surprise me if she went ahead and married Doug, because if she didn't she would publicly have to face two failed relationships with just a few months.

Doun when talking about Bill seems to have more respect about / towards Bill than Debbie.... odd no?

Debbie's alimony position/ statement was I believe Honest. Which is what makes it even worse.

The fact that Bill was WORKING himself into an early grave to support debbie and the kids doesnt mean she has some sort moral right to take ALL his Money. Calling his work " his girlfriend " is a clever ploy but its really propaganda of the worst kind.

Sure her position at the college is tenuous but SHE made it that way. When Bill brings it up her snotty reply was " IF...IF..IF...IF.."

sorry but that doesnt cut it. The fact that she gets emotionally upset when she talks to bill does NOT prove or indicate that she still loves Bill.

He flippant answer IF IF IF... argues that she thinks what happened was an act of god or a freak coincidence. The wife DELIBERATELY did this and her answer here proves she does not getthat and isnt close to dealing with reality.

SECOND point... yes since chapter one I have pointing out the inconsistencies with BILL's character. An experienced ADA Holding info from his own attorney?

Not seeing the significance of the shaved pussy?

IF the emails are used by Lew in court the Kids WILL find out about them. These kids are in their late teenage years and are sexually active ... but Bill seems to think they are 6 or 8 years old.

He still thinks she IS a good mother? maybe she was at one point...

As others have said, Bill is a man of honor. He's the kind of guy who keeps the country running for the rest of us -- toiling anonymously at a job that needs doing but that few can or would do. As a government bureaucrat, Bill chooses to serve his community instead of grabbing the ten times greater salary he could earn in the private sector. Yes, his job has awesome power that comes with some nice perks, but those perks don't make up the lost income and Bill doesn't seem to abuse them.

BUT . . . a life of public service, whether as a soldier, an emergency room doctor or an assistant states attorney, is a vocation not a job. Being an ASA isn't what Bill does, it's who he is. And it takes a special woman to understand his dedication and who is willing to make the necessary sacrifices to give him the support he needs.

Even though she's 39 and the mother of two teenagers, Debbie hasn't really grown up yet because she never really left college. In her immaturity she still views a person' worth in terms of glitz and glamor -- tight abs and fancy cars. She lost respect for Bill because he's not using his job as a stepping stone to political power the way his boss does. She hasn't had to deal with the real world enough to respect Bill for dedicating himself to doing a job that quietly makes their little corner of the world a better place.

I'm not a dedicated torch-the-bitch kind of reader, but until today I would have been seriously disappointed if Debbie and Bill got back together. She's hurt him terribly, in a cruel and almost unforgivable way.

BUT (again) . . . as a prosecutor Bill has the option to show leniency rather than to totally destroy someone's life when they've made a stupid mistake. If Debbie can grow up in a hurry it's not too late for her realize how much she should respect Bill -- not for his newfound fighting skills and hunky body, but because he is an honorable man. Then Bill can use his prosecutorial judgement and offer her a suspended sentence and ten years "probation", with the appropriate restrictions and "community service" so she can learn to be the kind of life partner she should have been and help Bill find a balance he needs between his work and his home life.

Vulcan in Ohio writes: "First, an obvious inconsistency . . . "I had made it to Carlos' gym a half dozen times during the month." Just a few paragraphs later, Bill muses that he has been going four or five times per week."

Carlos' gym is the boxing gym. Bill is going to the "downtown" gym, which is a regular fitness center, four or five times per week. That confused me too until I read it a second time, and it could have been written more clearly. But DQS1 is cranking out a huge volume of words every few days, and I personally would rather get the next installment in the story as soon as possible rather than waiting for the editing process to make it perfect.

Wish he could reconnect with his kids but they will need him at some point, he really does need to move on with his life. Great writing, I am just reading and enjoying this, thanks.

Well done DQS another well written very readable chapter. I am glad Bill will get some leaverage when or if this finally gets to court. Of course this is your story but bill needs to get laid, possibly by Jessica, it might make them both feel good. Thanks for writing. And don't be too long with the next chapter.

The bitch MUST suffer consequences for her betrayal. NO reconciliation can be possible after her ONGOING betrayal.

Depending on her future behavior she may be spared total annihilation, but Doug has got to go down. He ADMITTED he seduced her, a married woman. He has to suffer..

I love the complex characters and the inconsistencies they have. My problem is I want the next chapters before they can realistically be posted.

Many divorces go through a nuculuar distruction phase. Hope this one does not.

Jesus can we drag this story of the wimp AD out any longer. Get real.

I like the depth you are introducing into your characters. Bill has his war face for work and his heart for home, unfortunately his family give him little consideration. I suppose it is possible that he became commited to work when the children were small and he was a sole earner. That is infered rather than stated. Heart, though, clearly influences his approach to his casework.

Debbie has a layered character too. Although part of that is cruel and selfish, she has her homely family side, as well a professional dimension. Interestingly she is just at the time where a fourty year old woman seems to be moving out of the homemaker phase and looking for the fulfilling career she has put on hold.

You seem to be rounding Doug out, rather than leaving him as a one dimensional cypher. This falls neatly into his age group. He is leaving the boyish ways and moving into the more adult phase where he would be open to a settled relationship. Paradoxically he has selected a woman who might not want to enter another relationship. Furthermore, rather than let him simply be a predator, you seem to be portraying him as a human being.

Good stuff. I'm looking forward to the rest of your story. Although, unlike Bill, I would let Lew torch the bitch.

You are that good. You could be a Sanford or Connelly, you have the gift.

I agree with you that there dont have to be likeable characters BUT that being said usually by the end of story usually someone has changed ( hopefully for the better) .

but about this assertion of yours.... "Debbie isn't the mindless slut who just had to have a bigger cock..."

um.... what story are YOU reading?

did You read the bit about phone call between them? that phone conversation was about alimony... yet she managed to reference Doug's bigger harder cock twice in less than 1 minute.

Debbie's character as you and other have stated is 100% consistent.

but come on..... she IS s a cock hungry slut.

This is a cracker of a tale, and the author seems to love letting the characters loose. Trouble is, the conversations just ramble on and on and zzzzzzzz...

Sorry, I'm awake again.

Seriously, I enjoy the story, but I just think it's a little padded. I agree with comments about Bill being ferocious in court, and thus should be with wifey as well. I mean, if he's willing to walk away from everything and make her search for him... well, maybe that was an empty threat.

Keep on writing, but please don't let this turn into an open-ended soap.

Oh, one niggling little point, a pet peeve of mine: You refer to the "proverbial bridge." I don't recall a proverb about a bridge. I understand the reference (to selling the Brooklyn bridge, or whatever) but it's not a proverb. (I just threw that in to inflame the anti-Grammar Nazis, but it really is a pet peeve of mine.)

...Is to start typing and finish this. That is because I know already where I would take the story.

Perhaps it explains my current fascination of where the author will take this?

That story I have never written happened 30 years ago.

Cards, letters, updates, now emails. 30 years of them, yet we have never seen each other once in all that time. We both know what should have been, though we never say it.

There is a kind of love that very few will ever know. Yet like a trophy on a line that breaks, there is also no way back.

This series is very good. Take your time,

A fan.

MGM

The moment it appears that Bill is going to take Debbie back, this story is over. Too much damage has occurred with the former family, the adults & the children. The children have lost respect for the father. It's almost over now.

You are getting at the heart of what happens to two people who have been married for a long time, but have grown apart. The driving forces here are her fear of getting old and his focus on his job. While the issues are all around us, you bring them to life in this story and each chapter seems to get better.

I really appreciate how you brought out the fact that they still love each other, although whether they do it from afar or get back together remains to be seen. People can still love each other and not be together in life and sometimes that is the best solution.

Argh, Bill really needs to release these emails. Show the court, show the colleagues, friends, their son and daughter (who might not care...), have a press release, put it on the internet. Anything BUT keep it a secret.

Wow, Debbie is nasty, isn't she? Generous amount of alimony for TWENTY years AND half of the retirement? Because she cheated and was found out?

That's like a convicted man saying he wants to get money regularly from the man he shot, after he gets out of prison, because hey, because of that guy he went to jail!

"Why would you care, Bill? You told me we were through."

I wished Bill had answered this bit. They WERE through, the divorce was going alright, UNTIL Debbie slapped him with that alimony thing. She pretty much came back to pick a fight with him.

I've completely lost any sympathy for Debbie with this chapter. It had been very little already, what with the award ceremony thing, and the restraining order, not to mention the cheating itself. But now? I wish this would all blow up in her face.

After the way she talked over the phone in this chapter, reconciliation is out of the picture. Bragging about her lover to her almost-ex husband, and then saying he needs to pay for sex...I'm not vindictive, but with this cheat, I most certainly am.

She loses her job, becomes the laughingstock of the whole town, daughter gets pregnant by Doug, who goes to jail, and with what is she left? An estranged son and an ex who utterly hates her guts. I would find that a satisfactory ending.

I could honesty say that I appreciate what you've done so far with your efforts. But let’s not make the story too complicated by throwing Debbie's fuck sessions a monkey wrench just for the moment. Let her have her fun while Bill's Lawyer friend prepares for the final showdown where good old slutty Deb would get a slap in the face with those insidious E-mails exchanged between her and Doug. Force her to drop alimony charges by allowing the E-mails to take a life of their own which would eventually lead both of them being forced up at UNF in exchange for some low paying, underachieving jobs and suffering financially. You should also consider about Doug and Debbie moving in together and trying to start a new life as husband and wife only to find that he’s incompatible to her in every department as a husband, yes even in bed! (as far as romance or making love is concerned because we all know that "some" women need best of both worlds) while simultaneously Bill is having the hell of a time in his professional and personal lives by falling in love with a sensible and down to earth woman about his age who could do well without Debbie's fembot looks and bitchy self serving nature.

You might wonder why I'm suggesting you all of these not so romantic ideas instead of a heartfelt reconciliation or some "It's all my fault, so I'm leaving and good luck to you" type tragic ends as you would find in your other stories. Simply because up to now, what you have done is let Bill feel all the pain, grief and humiliation while allowing Deb and Doug live their lives without much trouble and sadness and you've conveniently forgotten that mother nature has its own way of counter balancing things which we call as "what goes around comes around or Every action has an equal opposite reaction". Therefore, it is only fair and within reason that Deb and Doug should feel the effects of their own actions boomeranged at them.

- Thomas Burton

why in hell bill wont just release those e mails n fry them both....if for any reason they get back together n yes just for what her new bf just said she did turn her back on bill...he saw yes n as he says no no way could i ever take a bitch back after that...what needs to happen is ok some how deb gets to keep her job...bill beats the shit out of lover boy with his golden gloves but chin of glass or maybe balls of glass....debbie needs to have that nervous breakdown we all know she needs and spend the next 30 years living in a psyc ward ...yeah something like that anyway...no reconciliation....nono none

...at least not in my mind. I have known a lot of successful professional men who were successful because of a single minded pursuit of that passion, and who at the same time could not see what was going on in their own home. They were often less involved and somewhat passive about their homelife, their health, etc. Yet could be ruthless, confident, and powerful in their professions. Bill is far more realistic than the men who are written about who succeed in all areas and are alpha in all areas of their life. Those men are few and far between, and often, if you look hard enough, just better at image than reality. Sorry for those who do not see, but Bill is very real, not likeable, but real.

Your other characters also seem quite real, though more cliche to me. I do hope Doug does not turn into a sympathetic character. To try and make honorable, a man who takes joy in seducing women simply to prove to himself he is all that he trys to believe he is would not work. His speech alone is not about her, but about him. He is a narcissist who feels entitled and felt like he could do what he wished, but then a small, "weak" man, one that could not fight him, still stood up to him and now he is the one afraid. If he losses Debbie, if she rejects him (something that does not happen to HIM), then what does that say about how wonderful he is.

As to Debbie, no sympathy will be found her. You have written a very selfish character, that though in real life often get what they think they want, I do hope does not. Bill had faults, but you have not written where she tried to really point out to him what she wanted and missed. She reached a point where she is threatened by her own daughter....a very telling moment btw, and now what does she have.

Good story, ....but please do not let it drag on and on. You could easily, but in the end, well it needs an end and rather quickly too.

Here are some of my comments for Chapter 2B before this Chapter came out.

About Debbie: 1. She didn't "look for a replacement for Bill. Doug was assigned to her. 2. She didn't screw Doug until after the separation. Even then it may be unforgivable by Bill. 3. Doug is a predator and over time seduced Debbie. It was gradual and she didn't see it coming. Some of his email comments were classic predator comments. 4. She wasn't leaving Bill for Doug until Bill pushed it. Not faulting Bill for pushing it. 5. Part of the separation and pending divorce is due to his "trying" to trap her at the awards dinner. And being a public spectacle. It was telling that she was assumed to have an open marriage. Bill not only neglected her by working a lot of hours (and who knows how much was political ambition) but he also failed to attend functions SHE needed to be escorted to. True after months and months she came to invite her assistant -- not a surprise given Bill's not caring to go. 6. Much has been said about the emails. The time to bring up the emails was when he uncovered them, not later; 7. Considering some of the things that Doug said to put the wedge between Deb and Bill, it is highly likely that he pressured her to take him to her bed. She is now "committed" to Doug and subject to doing what she may not want to do.

.

There's more but this is the part that is pertinent to what has been revealed in Chapter 2C.

.

This is not going to be a very popular comment and point of view BUT Debbie is the real victim here. Sure Bill is also suffering the consequences of her victimization but were it not for the predator seducing her, the marriage could be worked on. It happens every day, several times a day.

.

She is divorcing Bill for ruining her career, not to be with Doug. According to the email, Doug's comments and Debbie's thoughts and comments to Doug, as stupid as she was and in her very vulnerable state, she thought that what she and Doug had was friendship. Not denying that she was sexually attracted to Doug -- like that never happens in marriages -- but what was going bad in her marriage was the aspects of marriage OTHER THAN love.

.

Yes, she started fucking Doug and why not? He was a stud with a very hard 8" cock. As far as fucking him in her house and bed, her explanation of BJ and Kelly's understanding of what's what with regard to sex makes doing it at her convenience the only way for her to go.

.

Lex is all over the predator angle, the seduction of Debbie. I think that as a family friend, he could be more help to Bill resolving the separation. Bill has now had enough time away from Debbie that he can begin to think without loosing it.

.

For those of you who can't stand the thought of Bill and Deb getting back together, I can appreciate that. I have those thoughts when I am misinformed about what really is going on or went on. She is at the age when damn near EVERY woman in a Loving Wife story starts to doubt herself and her appeal as a woman. She is lonely now that the kids are teens with places to go and things to do. Bill would not or could not be there for her. She is not a cheating cunt like so many make her out to be. She is the victim of a slick, experienced predator. He just planted the seed that there is no going back to Bill.

.

Harry and others may "know" she doesn't love Bill." but Doug doesn't see it that way.

"Doug – you – I didn't – I'm not in love with Bill."

"You wouldn't go into the depths of depression every time you talk to him, or don't talk to him, if you didn't have feelings for him, Deb. And you know the sad thing? You'll never get him back."

She felt as though she couldn't breathe.

"I saw him that night at UNF. When I was down and you came to me. I saw the look on his face as you turned your back on him. He won't ever forget or forgive you for that. I wouldn't if you were my wife."

.

This whole thing could be the best thing that could happen to Bill. He was an over-weight slob who had lost sight of what's important in life -- a heart attack waiting to happen. This whole deal could save his life, repair his relationship with his children and restore a marriage that was dying. Unless of course the "kick the cunt to the curb" crowd has it's way. I'm betting on "Q" to see a betting, more life serving end to this than that.

.

Bring on the vitriol and hate comments from Vietvet and Harry. ;-)

Your story line is working to perfection. There need to be a sence of failure for the wife and the realization she had thrown away a good husband for sonething so misleading as a love affair. She needs to see her boyfriend as a real bastard to wake up to reality and that will envolve the children. Your writing is very good and I am enjoying what you have written so far. Keep up the good work.

extremely interested. Still, HIV makes some valid points, as does VIO. I was expecting Deb to blow up when Doug described all the women he had been banging, or could be banging, and how hard he worked to seduce her. Did she not want to believe they were just friends early on. Now he tells her it was a seduction? She's fine with that?

Bill just seems lost, which may be believable, except he is so smart, so powerful, and so accomplished. Still he flounders. I care nothing for the kids and agree with him to just write them off. If working and providing for them makes him a bad guy, the kids should go live with some worthless, wife-beating alcoholic for a couple weeks. They have cast him out far too easily. I will keep looking for and reading this tale of two titties.

For example "The Godfather" not everyone saw it as a everyone must kill everyone, with no likable characters, mob fest.

Some folks saw it as a view into the lifestyle of mobsters and "some" even saw it as people who hurt others getting their just deserts. You don't have to fall in love with a character just because you want to see them stop harming others and get whats coming to them for all the evil they did. (and maybe Debra in this story to a degree)

That would be The Godfather

In the case of "Gone with the Wind" that was 'multiple' people's stories, but you know what? When I asked my mother and wife about that (between Scarlett and Rhett) they really didn't like Scarlett at all for example. Rhett did like and what they saw was him trying to tame her (like in the Shakespearean play "Taming of the Shrew").

He realized at the front she was only using him for his money and a way to get out of her house, and what he tried to make her see, and I admit through manipulations, was that's what she was doing.

But if you remember at the end of the movie/book, it was when she left him to go to Ashley, after Ashley's wife, her sister in-law died, that Ashley told her that he never loved her, didn't want her, and the only one he ever loved was his wife and there was never any room for her, that she returned to Rhett and only then did she decided to try to make a life with him.

And what did Rhett do, after all of his planning and such? I know you remember. To me that was the point I saw the ultimate of self respect being demonstrated after a long time of someone trying to earn someone else's love.

And for me, I cheered for him. He was trying. Being nice didn't work with her. Mean didn't work. Showing her how selfish she was didn't work. And Rhett's character tried hard to be nice to the slaves and such around him than he did her because it was obvious she didn't really want him and only married him for his money. Go figure.

Its also the same reason that the "sequel" (if anyone remembers it was called "Scarlett"), that was written by someone else, where they put Scarlett and Rhett back together for a "romantic" ending, didn't do so well and last time I checked wasn't made into any movie anyone wanted to see (though it was made into a forgettable TV series. I mean everyone has heard of Gone with the Wind, but almost no one has heard of the sequel).

It wasn't believable after all of what she put him through. What man in his right mind would do so much to win his wife, who he knew going into the marriage only wanted him for his money, and left him for another man as soon as he was free, would stand by waiting for to be picked as second best? Where is 'his' self respect? Even the original "author" refused to write a story where she put them back together.

But "all of that" only leads me to my real point.

I liked Lew's character, but I'm getting further and further away from liking Bill. As Lew said, Bill is protecting the image of how everyone see's Debra, but while she is stomping the crap out of him and walking all over his pride and self respect as a man, he sits in a dark corner and doesn't want her public imaged tarnished, even though she is publicly humiliating the crap out of him with all of "his" and "her" co-workers.

While I might agree with him in principle, and I might agree dragging down my wife, mother of my kids, into the gutter would make me seem less of a human being, I wouldn't be above showing her what I had to make her back off. That seems to be something he doesn't want the world to know. It makes him too much like a saint. She doesn't score points with readers as selfish as she's being while having her cake and eating it too.

The other thing is the story is laying far too much ground work for a reconciliation between them.

I mean you have a husband, no matter how much his wife humiliates him can't wait to go back for tenths or twelves of it. He may be showing anger, but that is a smoke screen (as Lew said) for the fact that he'd still take her back in a heart beat.

She insults him about not being around when 'both' his kids were getting raped, but yet when she found out she refused to let him in on it. She parades her new lover around the school and makes out with him. She kicks her husband out of the house so she can have a place to sleep with her lover in. All his co-workers and employee's are making snide comments about how she kicked him out for a younger lover. My "GOD" I could go on.

Debbie is doing all of this, but not for a man she see's a future with, but she did all of this to experience sex with another man. She's humiliated her husband and thrown it all away for, as she said it, eight inches of hard cock, and doesn't care what she had to do to make it happen.

And through it all both Lew and Doug are the ones pointing out that they are still in love with each other and that's why they can't move on. She won't commit entirely to Doug and Bill can't get it up for another woman because, really, it would betray his feelings for his wife, while she's lying under another man getting the best sex of her life out of him.

Making this a romance story where they get back together, to me, would be a mistake. You've worked hard to build up such negative feelings in your readers to break them up so she could cheat on him. Now making Bill sit on the sidelines, angry, while his hot wife is sleeping with an attractive stud makes him seem like some cuckold who only did it because he couldn't stand up for himself but is waiting for the chance to prove from now on it should be him back in her bed.

No reader with true self respect will really go for a character who is so void of self respect in themselves that they appear so "desperate" to have the love of one person, no matter what she does to him, up to and including kicking him out of her bed, to make room for another man in it until she's tired of him, at which time she decides to re-invite an eager husband back into it after telling him what the new ground rules are for him to get into it.

=(

-Risq

The story is moving at a rapid pace. The chapter is loaded with information and is as a whole very original and it's exceedingly interesting. I see Doug as a bright young man with a strong testosterone surge. He's very observant and seems to understand Debbie's position much better than Debbie does.

I agree with Doug that Debbie may have lost Bill in one single action: that if picking Doug over Bill during the fist fight at the post-awards ceremony. While reading, I could not understand how a wife who'd been married to her husband 17 years could pick a boyfriend over her husband to comfort. I thought of her as a real bitch.

One thing that I do question DQS is that Doug with his seemingly superb academic record in graduate school plus a sizable number of published research articles (I assume they are mainly in peer reviewed journals), and if these articles are of high quality and original as to conclusions drawn, would be hampered by his one love affair with a fellow faculty in obtaining a new faculty position at another (good, acceptable) university. I saying this, I have 45 years of experience as a full time faculty in a top-rated west coast university.

So, now I need to re-read this chapter in order to be sure that I have not missed something important in my first reading. RAG

First What is Bill's reasoning for not wanting to destroy Debbie ? That's a easy one He still Loves after all the shit she has done he still Loves her stupid I know in a year or 2 the Love will fade and he will see what a fool he was. OK The Alimony What Deb says is partially true and it's her own fault but the main reason is she's unhappy and has been for a while and in her mind it's Bill's fault and wants to punish him.

Debbie is she a good mother ? she may have been but not any longer the scene with Kelly a good Mother would have first told Doug to get out of her house than ripped in to Kelly for acting like a slut. The way I read Debbie's charter is her #1 priority is Debbie !

One more point on the alimony Bill's share of the house she over ride it. no ?

The Kids when it comes to spending time with Dad or there friends Friends will almost always win I went it when my kids were in there teens now in the Mid 20's I see them more than ever.

dude your critical thinking skills really are awful. Maybe you need to re-take high school?

"....About Debbie: 1. She didn't "look for a replacement for Bill. Doug was assigned to her. 2. She didn't screw Doug until after the separation. Even then it may be unforgivable by Bill..."

the emotional seperation occurred LONG before she Fucked Doug the 1st time . What story are YOU reading?

..."4 She wasn't leaving Bill for Doug until Bill PUSHED it. Not faulting Bill for pushing it...."

go back and re-read the story you Moron .

she cheated emotionally and sexually while still Married to him while Bill & debbie were still together and sleeping in the same bed.. She gets caught and it is BILL's fault for PUSHING it ?

Dude you are a wimp.... you are not fooling anyone. Blaming Bill for Pushing it MEANS that in your view it is Bill fault for even getting upset....

...."This is not going to be a very popular comment and point of view BUT Debbie is the real victim here. Sure Bill is also suffering the consequences of her victimization but were it not for the predator seducing her, the marriage could be worked on. It happens every day, several times a day....."

Its not that this comment isnt popular it is that the comment shows you have a twisted moral code and a inability to think rationally. Frankly you are coming across as delusional crackpot. When I made the point in chapter 2B that this showed debbie has a character flaw you --or was it someone else?--- said SO WHAT ?

THIS is why it matters. UP until this marriage crisis Debbie Kind of was a victim -- ON THAT WE AGREE. Surely you can see how her actions in THIS story are NOT justified because Bill was neglectful and absent?

but you dont get that. In your view ANY action Bill has taken upto this point in the story ....You have faulted him.

According to YOU the divorce is being brought about by BILL pushing it...

In fact what SPECIFICALLY has Debbie done wrong? Is ANYTHING in your view debbies' fault ??

YOUR Logic says that since debbie was /is trapped or tricked by Doug BIll should pay her LOTS of his-- Bill's... Money...?!!!

that is just twisted fucked up thinking. In order to show that she is STILL a victim you have to explain WHY Debbie should get super generous alimony and half of Bill retirement since she cheated first???

...."She is divorcing Bill for ruining her career, not to be with Doug...".

so according to YOU Debbie was doing nothing wriong then for some reason Bill freaked out and ruined HER careee? are you really this fucking obtuse?

"...Yes, she started fucking Doug and why not? He was a stud with a very hard 8" cock....".

Um becuase she was married....

" .....As far as fucking him in her house and bed, her explanation of BJ and Kelly's understanding of what's what with regard to sex makes doing it at her convenience the only way for her to go....."

so convenience is the basis of right and wrong ?

.

OME GREAT STORY. I HIOE YOR ENDING IS RECONCILIARION BETWEEN BILL AVD DEBBIE. KEEP UP THE GREAAT WORK

another solid chapter. so far, a great story. and i hope it will end up as one of the best.

but i have this fear that the end is going to be 'grab Bill's cock, give him a great blowjob, fuck his brains out, and all will be forgiven and forgotten'.

When we take actions out of context we can build a case for or against any of the characters. We criticize DQS for what we perceive to be gaffes such as the gym issue, yet the number of errors we make in our comments is astounding.

Debbie didn't commit adultary before filling for divorce. She didn't file for divorce to get Bill out of the house and Doug in -- at least according to DQS and is seen in the words of the characters.

When the story is told from Bill's POV, we see his side and are totally on his side and want to tar and feather Debbie. In the latest chapter we the circumstances from Debbie's POV and suddenly the "facts" are different.

Doug: Let's face it. He is a slimeball, a predator and will fuck Debbie's daughter if she doesn't kick his ass out of her life -- the sooner the better.

Debbie: Everybody knows she still has love for Bill -- everybody except herself, HIV and a few others. Those few others know better than DQS and his characters. Is the love as hot as it once was? No, it never is. Did she go to lunch every day with Bill? No, she taught at UNF. Notice how long it's taking her to get tired of Doug's shit.

Is she a slut because she was seduced by Doug for 8 months but didn't fuck him until after the divorce papers were filed? It seems to me that she has very high character, just a little stupid in the face of the slick talking predator she thinks is a friend. Many, many women and men get talked into believing what friends have to say, never mind predators with agenda's such as Doug's. Doug is spending the night with Debbie because the divorce papers were filed, not the divorce papers were filed because she wanted to fuck Doug. If the later were the case, it would have happened a long time before it did.

Didn't you just love the psychology Doug was using with the "fuck-buddy" conversation. And what happened to the woman with the 8 year old that he was so in love with? Oh, I guess she got tired of that young, hard, 8" cock and kicked him to the curb. Yeah, right!!

The problem with this story is that it is written beyond the comprehension level of half the readers. DQS needs to use stereotypical characters with no depth so Harry and Vietvet can get off on trashing Debbie's ass.

She's such a f...ing bitch she deserves to grow old and alone and he needs to end up with the young hot babe. No matter how this story goes, please no reconciliation. She deserves public humiliation for the whore that she is.

I really enjoy reading this story. The characters are vivid and not stupid. The situations feel real. No one is unnaturally good or bad. We have the on going legal side story lessons. However, after I finish reading I have the feeling I am going to be disappointed with the story as a whole in the end. I don't see where it can go. Debbie is amazingly self centered. She set aside her marriage and is using Doug as well. She is not really committed to anyone. It's all about how Debbie can be happy. I have no problem with the idea that Bill isn't a saint. He really screwed his relationship and in his own way abandoned Debbie for his job. You don't need another person to be "cheating". You owe your spouse your first level of commitment. Bill wasn't meeting his obligations. BUT Debbie is a piece of work and continues to be. Doug is no prize either. "Hey, I'm a stud and have woman dripping off me. I picked you so get with the program." WOW, what a prize. He has the biggest ego around. Maybe it's linked to his big dick. It feels like Debbie is headed for being with no one. Both Bill and Doug have recognized she can't get back with Bill. Her actions are unforgivable. I don't think Doug's ego will allow him to wait for her and it doesn't feel like she loves him anyway. So Doug slimes off, Debbie is left with no one, and Bill gets back in shape and gets his divorce. The story is trying to answer the question of "How do you unbreak an egg?" and there is no solution. So why the long story? It was resolved early on and is just groaning to the end. It's well written enough that I'm actually enjoying the groaning but it seems all for naught.

are you ever going to answer the question?

has debbie done anything WRONG in this story?

".....Debbie didn't commit adultary before filling for divorce. She didn't file for divorce to get Bill out of the house and Doug in -- at least according to DQS and is seen in the words of the characters...".

this Just factually wrong and Un proven. First I (and others) have stated many times the cheating was at First emotional.

second YOU -- or I --dont KNOW if debbie had already fucked Doug before the Fight scene or right after or if she did TECHINCALLY wait until the divorce was filed.

we dont know from the story. But here you are all high and mighty accusing everyone else of not reading what is actaully written...you are CERTAIN that she hasnt and yet you are provding No proof.

THIRD We are assuming Lews conjecture about her shaved pussy is correct. But it is JUST as possible debbie was screwing Doug at work. Who would know?

I am asking for proof. And dude you better not cite her statement from the first two installments. She lied often to Bill that she NOT seeing or meeting another man when she clearly was

".....Debbie: Everybody knows she still has love for Bill -- everybody except herself, HIV and a few others. Those few others know better than DQS and his....."

talking about Doug's 8" big cock TWICE during a phone converstion about alimony is a sure sign of love.

so far you are the only one who has said this and in the last two installents only 2 or 3 other posters agreed with you. Even in your fantasy land 3 posters out of all the feedback is NOT EVERYBODY ...

..."the problem with this story is that it is written beyond the comprehension level of half the readers...."

yeah that is what the problem. Meanwhile you cant provide any proof or inference or answer a simple queston...

Very nice work. Good, involved story.

We will not know if this an excellent story until you have completed it. So far, it is very good, and humanly complex.

Great story and keep up the good work no matter what the so called critics say.

Takes a big crap all over Harry's comments and every single other one he has ever made. Spade Ace is my new hero.

I have to disagree with you about Debbie. Just because she didn't have sex with Doug before the divorce doesn't mean she didn't cheat. She was having an emotional affair with him.

I blame both Bill & Debbie about the status of their marriage, but it was DEBBIE's own fault to fall into an affair. If she really wanted to work on her marriage, she wouldn't have asked for the divorce. If she really was trying to reconcile, she wouldn't have gone to lunches with Doug, talk about her most personal feelings to a stranger, and have told those things to Bill.

What a pair; their PhD's make both of them even more the assholes that they are. Some readers have commented that Deb deserves public humiliation . . . well Dougie deserves it more for being such a snake of a human being. All the characters evoke such extreme emotions in me and reactions from me. I do believe in what goes around comes around. It may not happen all the time, but it happens in real life. I am so looking forward to reading more . . and more! Thank you DQS1.

Great story... But remember, Bill gets in shape, beats dick head up or his boxing boys do, gets blode back,.... Etc. Bill should shave his head bald and grow a goatee... Maybe a motorbike too.???

Well lots of comments, always a sign that the author has stirred the pot.

The writing is amazing. Characterization? Half very real half cardboard stereotypes but interesting in their own ways.

Harry? Hyper reactive as always but with his keen eye there as well. Don't totally dismiss him people. Under the anger and bile there hides the soul of a great critic/editor.

Now I have since the start of this thing thought that Bill was a bit mixed up set of stereo types (the super man professionally but lush when it comes to his family...seriously how many stories have one or the other in them? Heck.. how many stories THIS WEEK had them in them. I can think of 3 of each that came out )

Debbie? Risq said It and I thought it - Mid Life Crisis.

Her mother almost came out and said it.

So everyone wants to blast the author for the 'OBVIOUS' recon at the end.

I don't think so. WAY too many ppl are saying in the story "it aint happening".

Here is what I think is going to happen.

We know this is a in story year long event, author told us that.

Debbie 'wins' some in the divorce proceedings BUT loses the stud. The thoughts and doubts begin to eat at her...

Bill gets better, his friends move him more off of his center (like it has been done with his working out) and he starts getting a life/working with the kids/etc.

Somehow Debbie will meet with Bill. Maybe she will over hear the kids talking about how he is dating that 'hot chick'. Maybe He will react to some of the info about the sexual adventures of his kids and she is swept up in that.

Heck it might be the Cliche lawyer meeting.

She will then see a NEW husband ...one that is more in line with her ideas of what she wants. AND she probably has a secret hope/idea that he MIGHT be there for her when this is all over.

She will make a play for him/try to get him back/stop everything.

Get turned down.

And she will do as she has been shown to do and lash out at him and try to twist the screws some more.

ONLY to find out what he COULD have done if he wanted to with the information and such that he has.

Then and ONLY then will she realize what she gave up.

She might try some more with no hope. As Bill reforges himself into a better man and person. And honestly.... he need to.

IN the end, as her mother said she will shed tears for what she has given up.

THEN and only then will she look her selfishness and mid life crisis in the eye, growing herself in the process.

Reconciliation after that? Probably not but maybe ...some hope for a friendship. Bitter sweet on her part.

Then again I could be taking too much of my cold meds and the author has something totally off the beaten path for us.

As long as it isn't the cliche 'harem of women', notice I am begining to hate some of the cliches? I will be fine with it as I KNOW our wonderful author will give us a CLEAR view of everything and let US the readers KNOW and believe 'this' is how it SHOULD go.

I don't know who's more hopelessly filled with anger: Bill, or your readers! Boy oh boy, have you got the commenters fired up!

This continues to be very intense and full of pain for everyone in the story. I'm as involved as everyone else, but I'm not going to write and tell you what to do next, or which character is meaner or more selfish than the next. We can all draw our own conclusions.

But I did note one thing, that seems not to have been commented on (perhaps I missed it): Debbie's reasons for insisting on alimony make a great deal of sense, at least from her perspective--she has reason to fear for her job, and doesn't want to face money worries as an aging, perhaps ex-assistant professor. Bill may absolutely hate that--how could he now?--but it makes sense to me.

Keep 'em coming, Daniel! We'll keep readin' 'em!

Thanks, ohio

In case you haven't noticed there are what...50-60-70 comments already on this story.

I really am enjoying the character development. If Bill were perfect she wouldn't have dumped him for a "hard body". If she were perfect she would see Bill's passion and understand it. I'm still betting the boy from Tx has something to do with this, but I could be wrong. :)

And the kids...PERFECT. Having reared 3 teenagers you have them about right. Dad is not high on the list and actually Mom isn't either. Who do they care about???? Themselves! Yup, nailed that one. I like Lew the shark.

I can see this story going so many ways and I don't worry abit. I KNOW that wherever you take this story it will be a fun and insightful ride. Keep up the good work, and enjoy all of the second guessing it means YOU GOT THEM. :D

Type fast ! LOL

What little sympathy I had for Debbie in earlier chapter — just blew away especially after the phone conversation. I’ve NEVER disliked a female character, Debbie…is too cruel.

Bill say’s — Debbie is a good mother because – he was an absentee father. Debbie went to their school events, took them to the emergency room, went to their games. She had obligations to her job too, but she always made time for them. Ok, does a “good” mother gets jealous by her own 17 year old daughter? Does a “good” mother gets SO proud to tell that her 14 year old son knows how to put on a condom, and he’s already been introduced to sex at the age of 13 by some next–door–college–slut, and that he’s already practiced everything Bill tried to explain him? Does a “good” mother encourage her kids in wrong doing? (I’m talking about Kelly’s incident with Ricky Thompson) The answer is — NO. Debbie is really NOT a good mother. She FAILS as a mother.

*-*-*

This chapter clicks a lot of boxes like the e-mails, Lew’s character coming into the picture, Doug’s “true” colors coming out into the open. I liked the scene between Kelly and Doug. I think she did that deliberately. The moment Doug says — "Whoa, cowgirl. That's no-go territory." Her response was quick and accurate — "That wasn't what you said when we were in the pool the other day." I’d like to read about the transformation of Doug to Doggie, sorry Dougie.

I said it before — Doug is an opportunist. He too accepted in this chapter that he set his eyes on Debbie, and wanted to just have sex with her. Now I think he’s developed feelings for her, but can’t accept that Debbie just wants to be “friends”. I really HATE such people. The scene where Doug shows his true color was very well done. I’m amazed that Debbie didn’t tell him to get out of the house. She just sat there listening to his rants. If Debbie makes that call to Doug — she’ll be the stupidest female character ever in a story (I’ve read so far)

This is what Bill’s mother–in–law says in chapter 2A — “The day will come when she'll realize what she threw away, and then she'll be the one crying. Trust me on that." — its about time Debbie shed some tears too.

*-*-*

Hmmm…Our Rocky Balboa is a softie; I too would’ve liked to make Debbie pay by making the e-mails public. But there must be some reason for him not doing it, and asking (ordering) Lew not to use them. I once saw a movie (Don’t remember the name, sorry) but there was one scene — it was about a Medical College Dean giving a lecture to new students. He says that his hands never shake or he never shivers while a patient is under his knife, but he was sure if at all his own daughter comes under his knife — his hands will definitely shake. He doesn’t have an emotional attachment with the patients, they are just patients, someone that needs treatment, but when it comes to his own daughter, she’s his own blood — his hands will definitely shake.

I agree, Debbie is very cruel and she need to be taught a lesson, but Bill has an emotional attachment with her. He still says that she’s a good mother because he’s guilty for not giving more time to his kids.

*-*-*

Few things I’d like to read —

1. Our Rocky Balboa getting laid. He really, really needs that, and come on there are medical help for such problems.

2. More dialogs between Bill, Kelly, and Bill Jr. We know they meet on weekends and all, but (I don’t know) — they should really express their feelings, what they think about the situation. Debbie gives just one side of the story. Both Kelly and Bill Jr should say that to Bill. Maybe scream at him and ask him why did he gave work more priority — while they needed him? If you are planning to get them back, they really should clear this mess first.

3. A fight scene (I guess, every reader wants this) between Doug and Bill, not just a street type fight, it should be in such a way that Bill should come out as a winner; I mean he should win all what he lost. I know it doesn’t suit Bill’s reputation as DA, but he’s preparing for that day, right?

4. A picture of new Bill with some good looking female in the newspaper. Hmmm…like he wins some big case and he’s all over in the news and newspapers. I’m sure this will burn a hole in Debbie’s heart. It’s time for Bill to have some “fun”

5. Please don’t turn Doug into a hero, I remember you said — this is Bill’s and Debbie’s story so it’s time to show the door to Doug’s character.

Well that’s it…I hope to read the next chapter quickly, remember — don’t move your fingers away from you keyboard (Just kidding)

P.S – I can see IT coming.

~Kelly~

Harry, Risq and others have covered grounds that occured to me reading this chapter. I'm enjoying the story so far and I can even see a reconciliation working, simply because Bill still has some love left for his crazy bitch of a soon to be ex wife. Deb would have to hurry for it to make sense IMHO.

My favorite moment of divorce cliches was the phone call where mommy berates daddy for being clueless about the kids, and his girlfriend named "work". Ahh, yes women are the great communicators. Except this mommy didn't talk to daddy about sex/rape actions with their kids. And Bill is the workaholic? Deb is what is called a "Maternal Gatekeeper". She's got her job and control of the homefront but hey, its all Bill's fault...

Nice to see the characters fleshed out more at least and I look forward to the rest of the story.

-Hexxed

An excellent read.

A couple of points - as an academic, I can tell you we don't have an assistant professors mentor other assistant professors; usually, mentors are associate professors or higher in rank.

Also, I am not really fond of the summarizing that is done at the beginning of each chapter.

That said, the story (and the writer) is one of the best on the site.

You say,

"I have to disagree with you about Debbie. Just because she didn't have sex with Doug before the divorce doesn't mean she didn't cheat. She was having an emotional affair with him. I blame both Bill & Debbie about the status of their marriage, but it was DEBBIE's own fault to fall into an affair. If she really wanted to work on her marriage, she wouldn't have asked for the divorce. If she really was trying to reconcile, she wouldn't have gone to lunches with Doug, talk about her most personal feelings to a stranger, and have told those things to Bill."

Last things first, Doug had a pretense working that they were "friends." He didn't hit on her. So she confided in him, as he encouraged her to do to gather info to use in seducing her. And who doesn't talk to friends about their relationships that aren't going as one would like. Friends might, as you suggest should happen, encourage her to talk to Bill. Take a weekend off together etc. FYI it's a lot easier to be intimate with friends about your spousal relationship than it is to be with your spouse -- or haven't you noticed? ;-)

I agree that sex doesn't have to occur to emotionally cheat. BUT I assert that in Debbie's world her relationship with Doug was a friendship, not an affair. Your comment about Doug being a perfect stranger is slightly off; she was his mentor. He was her assistant. In the context of his being her assistant and she his mentor their being together for lunches and meetings was to be expected and in and of itself, above board. We could say that their conversations or some comments were inappropriate. I would say that over 8 months time, they inappropriateness came gradually. Were Doug to say the things he said at the end in the beginning, Debbie would have straightened his ass out.

The power that predators have over vulnerable women (and to some degree, women predators over men) is underestimated. If Doug were using some mild form of date rape drug, we would forgive Debbie in a heart beat, but since we can't see the insidious workings of the predator, we blame the victim. We blame women for being raped, "If she wasn't dressed like that..."

It's not in the story but depression caused by chemical imbalance could be the cause of a woman's sexual promiscuity. But lets don't go there unless DQS takes us there.

From Doug's own words he was a predator out to seduce Debbie. She is saying to him that he is a friend and not in love with him. This may be fooling herself, but we must assume that Debbie believes it. Why else would she say it to Doug and risk her relationship.

HiV asks "did Debbie not do any wrong?" Of course Debbie did some "wrong." She obviously did some flirting with Doug, but if that were a deal breaker in marriages, we would have about a 99% divorce rate. Were it important to me as Debbie husband **looking for reconcilliation**

I would have to consider the way things went down. Debbie started out being Doug's mentor and him her assistant. I could see from the email the progression of the relationship. It would not be difficult to find professional help in interpreting the emails and I would then assume that the face conversations would be equally if not more entrapping. If I wanted a relationship with my wife, I would have to give her the benefit of the doubt. Would I be guaranteed she would never do it again? No, of course not. There is no guarantee that anyone would ever do it again or the first time.

Why would I want Debbie back? Duh! Let's start with 10 wonderful years of marriage plus 7 more pretty darn good years after that. She was well educated, funny, a wonderful lover and more. Throw in great looks and a world class set of tits... and what's not to want.

I should simply say ditto to Kelly and Rehnquist, but I can not keep from saying that even thought the underlying bones may be clichés they are being very beautifully fleshed out by the author.

With respect to not using the e-mails, I would like to point out that being a lying emotional cheat does not justify using physical violence on a woman and my feeling is that destroying her public image is at least as violent.

It is interesting that many people have long accepted putting a bullet into, or stoning an adulteress, but would not approve of her husband beating up on her. Certainly the police would not accept it passively, but still I think the chief reason that most of us would not strike a woman is because we have been trained to look upon it as cowardice and therefore not to be done. I admit that I would not use the e-mails, but that is just the way I was raised.

Bill is growing some balls (and real muscle) in dealing with his wife, allowing the emails to come out, at least as a threat so far, and he is retaining his humanity regarding family. An interesting balance and challenge you are holding to so far. I am hoping he will really go after the bastard, Doug, who purposefully sought the destruction of their marriage. As an Assistant State Attorney, Bill should be interested in justice and therefore should give no quarter to Doug. This last scene between Bill and Debbie destroyed any sympathy for her actions as well. However, it is understandable for the sake of the children that Bill does not want to destroy their mother. But aside from protecting his children, justice should deal her enough of what she deserves.

First, Harry, because I can clarify this one easier. When I said Deb wasn't the typical "mindless slut," I meant along the lines of the story I recently read where, after a 10-year marriage, wifey dances with some stud she's never seen for two dances and just has to have that throbbing mountain of man meat. That's not what happened here: She is intelligent, didn't immediately--though far too soon for common decency--jump into bed with Dougie boy, and she's now torn between feeling young again with her younger lover and doubts over her entire course of action. I know she bragged about Doug's size in her phone call with Bill, but this is just two embittered parties in the middle of a divorce bending over backwards to rip the other's heart out. In any event, the fact that everyone here is commenting that she's becoming a bigger bitch--and not just "whore," but "bitch"--with each passing chapter indicates to me that she's being rounded out far better than is the norm. Better than I've managed to date in my own stories, at least, which isn't saying much.

Second, Risq, I think you're avoiding important character points of the two movies/books I've referenced. Tell me who the "good" guy was in The Godfather. Vito Corleone? Sure, the father who raised two--and eventually three--sons and one son-in-law into his criminal empire that was based on extortion, robbery, thievery, and control of the unions. Some father, and certainly a finalist in Man of the Year balloting. Sonny Corleone? Maybe while he was being a serial womanizer/adulterer while shooting everyone in sight because of his legendary temper? You must mean Michael, the war hero who resists the family business before turning into a brutal Don who kills all of the other dons, his own brother-in-law, and--without a second chance--poor fuckin' Tessio. Did the others, the ones killed, have it coming? I suppose so. Then again, so did Vito, Sonny, Michael, Tom Hagen, Clemenza, and the rest of them. You have been seduced by the false dichotomy on this one: You picked the more likeable serial killers over the less "honorable" ones. Either way, they were serial killers and hardly worthy of our sympathies or empathies.

As for Gone With the Wind, of course everyone realizes Scarlett was a bitch. I can only imagine reading that in installments on this site, though. You would all be bemoaning the fact that, first, what's Rhett doing chasing after a girl half his age who's engaged in the opening sequence; second, chasing after her while she's recently widowed at a time when that wasn't done; third, chasing after her while she's married (much like Doug did here, by the way, and I don't see anyone liking him too much); and fourth, even bothering to chase after the heartless bitch at all. Rhett's one redeeming quality throughout the book and the movie was that he was a self-admitted scalawag with no loyalties to anyone beyond himself--and later his daughter--and certainly not to the Confederate cause. He didn't pretend to be something he wanted; he was a self-centered, war-profiteering prick chasing after a woman already spoken for by others throughout the book, and he didn't bother hiding that from anyone. The fact that Margaret Mitchell--and Clark Gable--managed to make him a captivating leading man speaks to their talents as an author and an actor, respectively. Say what you will, though: He was still a dickhead.

Sorry, but ole Deb was a shitty mother, still is and the kids are total jerks, but they got it from mom. She has disliked, than hated Bill for awhile and it has rubbed off on the kids, no love or respect at all. The notion that she still loves him is crazy, you don't treat anyone you even like this badly, so torch her and Doug both and find a new family, one that at least likes you.

After reading your response to Risq, I agree even more completely with Risq. Your arguement that characters do not have to be "likeable" is based on moral grounds. People like the characters in the Godfather can be morally corrupt and still be likeable, understandable, and sympathetic because of the skill of the author. IMO, this is exactly what made the Godfather such a compelling story. In this story by Daniel, Bill is becoming more likeable, understandable, and sympathetic and it is making the story more powerful.

that last post of your was Much better . I agree entirely with your comments about doug being a predator.

But when it came to answering the question " What n your view did debbie do that was wrong??"... you struck out Big time.

......HiV asks "did Debbie not do any wrong?" Of course Debbie did some "wrong." She obviously did some flirting with Doug, but if that were a deal breaker in marriages, we would have about a 99% divorce rate.....

THAT's IT? thats all you have?

the Opening Line she uttered WE WE WERE MARRIED showed that she has moved away from Bill totally. She has fallen out of love with him. Which happens.... but Bill does have the right to know.

she lied by omission about the Emails

she clearly lied to her Mom and Bill about her relationship with Doug.

In the emails Doug several times suggested that she Open UP and be direct with Bill. Debbie rejected that advice out of hand.

That is Just for starters

LASTLY..... you ask Why would I want Debbie back? Duh! ...

um she forms sexual relationships with Much younger men.

um because debbie's commments / reaction in the alimony conversaton shows that BIill will never be able measure up to a Much young hunky guy with great abs and Big cock. Even if they do get together 5 years from Now debbie will be thinking about DOUG....

um when Bill was badly hurt because of something SHE did and started she lovingly held the head of her lover over her husband and did so publicly.

ummm debbie thinks she should get Huge alimony and half of Bill's retirement fund because she might lost her job because of her sexual cheating

Your comment: "The problem with this story is that it is written beyond the comprehension level of half the readers. DQS needs to use stereotypical characters with no depth so Harry and Vietvet can get off on trashing Debbie's ass." Well, Shoe, if only half the readers can comprehend this story as well as your pompous view of yourself, you are not only in the bottom half, but below 5%. I agree with Harry and others that your comprehension and logical assessment of this story is near zero. Your view of Debbie is stereotypical from a particularly narrow view of the world.

If nothing else, your story and recent chapter have stimulated the bored masses! Judging from the shear volume and range of commentary, you must be doing something right, eh? Seems too many expect a novel-type quality, forgetting that this is an erotic fantasy site, where, well - put bluntly corners can be cut by the author (logic, morality, story flow, lovable characters & outcomes, etc.......). For someone who's recently started to write in this genre, I say, good stuff. Pic-n-choose amongst the critics/views you're comfortable with, the rest can sod off.

Your writing and storytelling skills are definitely a cut above the rest. Keep it up.

The story is a interesting and compelling one! The depth that you write is amazing with the emotions and thoughts of the characters potrayed with such realism.

I am seething with hatred over Doug and his seeking out this destruction of this marriage in such a predator like fashion!

And for Debbie, what a dumb ass! To fall for this high school shit. I thought she was a smart professor. I guess not.

I still feel sorry for Bill. He is still lost. And I do hope he starts fighting for himself and whatever he decides he wants.

The kids indifference to their father bothers me, but I understand it in the context of this story.

So good job and thanks for writing!

Next installment please!

I would like to say first that this seems to be a very good story. I like the way you've written your previous stories, not getting too attached to a model of what should a husband and wife do, or if they should end up together or not. Every story has it's own heart, and you seem to understand it.

About Bill and Debbie, it's clear that both let their marriage fail. It's done and over(the marriage, not their love, perhaps). But it's also clear that Debbie still doesn't understand where she failed, and still blames everything on Bill, the reason why she can't see that perhaps her feelings towards him aren't just memories or irrelevant, they're just buried under a ton of unspoken resentment. And to make things worse, she may suffer from the same blindness regarding Doug. I am not sure she will see his "declaration" for what it really is, or if she will be willing to take a fall, or lose the alimony for him, what would only make things worse regarding her relationship with Bill.(yes, every sacrifice she makes for Doug cements Bill's feelings about her cheating)

Doug is a predator. He actually confessed being a predator, acted as a predator(being dominant and violent against a target/woman), and tried a basic manipulation, once he regained emotional control, to make her feel sorry for him, or at least to infuse more confusion on her head about her true feelings. He doesn't love her, he's obsessed with her, and coming from a self-acclaimed predator, that's really bad news for her and for her family.

Bill needs to eat some humble pie. He's had plenty of proof that the last few years were bad for his marriage. He didn't notice his kids growing up and away, and he wasn't really present on the day to day struggles that troubled his wife. That's not a minor oversight, that's a huge mistake, and he needs to consider if his relationship with his job is worth his personal life. Even without Debbie, he will only have a personal life if he manages to balance work and family. Otherwise, I think he's doing good on all other fronts, and may eventually be able to rebuild a relationship with Debbie, once she gets her head out of her ass...(Or IF she does it. After all, that's a confused woman, and I am not sure if she still loves Bill or if she just misses the good years she had with him. She goes from being a complete bitch, to being a puppy in love with her stud, and then back to being resented with Bill.) Bill should, at least, sit with her with a counselor and try to talk about their problems. Condemning her about her cheating and divorcing here will not make him happy. If he at least tries to fix it, he will know that he did everything he could. Until now, he fought, but he didn't work on their issues. If he still loves the bitch, he'd better start trying to fix the marriage instead of finish it.

Debbie still needs to figure out what she needs and wants sexually, emotionally and for her life. She's too educated to not know what a middle-age crisis is, and to keep ignoring the fact that, while Bill was getting distant and focused on his job, she just took up the slack, piled up the resentment and said shit about it. If she wants to be happy(that seems to be the motivation for the divorce), she better figure out if she still love her husband, since being divorced from the man she loves, if that's the case, will not do it... She needs to see a psychologist, because having Doug as her counselor will not do. He's been playing her all along.

The reason why I am advocating for a happy ending for Bill and Debbie together is because, as it seems, they still love each other. There is no point in being intransigent about each other mistakes or cheating(Debbie did cheat his husband, by playing that game with Doug while letting her marriage die from inaction) if you actually care and want the other person to be with you, and happy. But they have to rebuild, and keep, a trusting, respectful and loving relationship. Their marriage is the past, but the future might still hold promise.

You force reconciliations worse than Slirpuff.

first chapter were ok and could have led to a good followup with revenge as the main issue, but it became a lot of rubbish about not wanting to give in and at the same time not wanting to offend the former wife and in the end maybe kiss kiss and make up - as said - pure rubbish

you write above the norm here. i admire your interest in human nature. today Al and Tipper Gore separated after 40 years of marriage. Dwell on that .....

I have a bad feeling about where this is going. You make no sense building him up to be this killer in the courtroom and wimping out with his wife after all the public humiliation she has put him thru. This concept flies in the face of reality. I'm no high powered lawyer and if my wife did what this woman did to him she would have to sleep with one eye open the rest of her miserable life. You are in danger of destroying what was once a good story. You can polish a turd forever but in the end all you have is a shiny piece of shit.

Obviously not everyone is going to like it. But, most of us do. I'm so eager to read the next lot.

Keep up the good work; my only gripe is that you aren't producing fast enough.

I like the fact that Doug is a character in the story, and realizes that while he was seducing her, she was simply using him.

I like the fact that Bill is a strong character that still has emotion in his heart for his (ex) wife, and is still affected by her without being a total wimp.

I like that fact that the dawn of her realization is slow enough that she isn't merely undergoing the usual few lines of 'she never dated again and got old and fat all alone', and yet the end of the story is not blatantly obvious.

I see the tie in between Doug's golden gloves and Bill's boxing, but I wonder what it is that Doug will be fighting for? He is now aware that the wife isn't worth it. I don't see Bill pressing unless another woman or personal pride come in as she isn't worth it, and by now he should realize that a confrontation is bad for him legally.

All in all, very enjoyable and not the typical 'Burn the bitch' or 'wimp hubby' options to be taken.

pretty good. enjoying the pace of character development - although i never thought Doug would be a source of insight (even with his head in the lions jaws.) i'm betting he bails at the first whiff of alienation of affection. Deb is the problem or challenge here; she's the one who changed the dynamics of the marriage without any forewarning, she's the one who invited Doug into her bed at that first opportunity - yet we know so little about her. what happened? what changed? what was the crisis?

First, I want to say that so far this is the best story I've read on this site so far.

Second, this story could be a fictionalized version of how my last marriage broke up. It is a very realistic story. Some of the negative comments I've read I disagree with. Having lived this story, I think I know where the story is going but I'm not sure how it's going to get there.

Great story but please speed up the pace on the next chapter. You are torturing your readers (I am one of them). When there are so many constructive comments on the characters in this story, the writer has to be extrodinary.

My opinion is, Bill should never take Debbie back. Their marriage is over at the university party. All the suggestions on talking and conseling should happen before the affair starts. As an extremely high education professor, flirting with a younger professor is simply no excuse and very low in any moral standard (forget as a professor). Lying to the spouse and openly humilates him in the party is worse than having sex discretely in a remote motel somewhere where no one knows. Debbie does not understand that and she never will. I agree with some comments that Debbie is not worth fighting for but Bill's daughter is. This will be a very interesting story to read. Please do not keep us waiting too long for the next post. I am addicted.

"go back and re-read the story you Moron .

she cheated emotionally and sexually while still Married to him while Bill & debbie were still together and sleeping in the same bed.. She gets caught and it is BILL's fault for PUSHING it ?"

Harry,

I can't seem to find where Debbie cheated sexually while Bill and Debbie were still together and sleeping in the same bed. Could you help me out here?

DQS is an honest writer as near as I can tell, so I take it that when he relates Debbie's or Doug's or Bill's thoughts, the are true statements as they understand them. I will grant that words spoken to another character may be lies to that person but not when we are "reading her mind." Debbie's thoughts and comments to herself and to Doug indicate that she was -- in her mind -- not emotionally cheating on Bill with Doug. What was occurring was her mind was being fucked with by the predatorial Doug as he sought to turn her into thinking that her marriage had gone bad. Dude, try to understand. Doug from the git go was out to run Debbie's marriage so that he could fuck her himself. Go back and read his words at the end of this chapter. Read her thoughts and words to see what she thought was going on.

DQS is a masterful story teller and he had us believing far more was going on between those 2 than was actually happening. DQS didn't deceive us, we saw throughour own eyes as well as Bill's eyes and it looked really bad. Things are not always the way then appear, however. A ball that is half white and half black will appear to be white when seen from a particular point of view but when seen from the opposite point of view, it will appear to be all black.

The question before us is, are we willing to give up are fixed point of view and be willing for the ball to be half black and half white when we thought is was all black based on our point of view.

the comments. A lot of interesting suggestions, snipes, and hurrahs! So I will limit my comments. First, watch out for the good writing syndrome. That occurs when a good author creates a spouse who is so terrible in his or her infidelity, that if the author tries to reconcile them, it becomes impossible to believe. Debbie may be coming out of her orgasmed sleep and is maybe begiinning to realize her mistake, that if you continue to make her so selfish as you have, there is no reconciliation. It may be time to have her begin to understand better what she has done. By the way, please avoid the deus ex machina of husband, or wife, or children in an accident so they have to interact and realize that love can overcome anything -- this is romantic, but not reality. I have to say, you are making the children to be as awful as the wife. He believes that she has been a good mother, but her failure to have him be part of the sexual upbringing of his kids and the statutory rape of his son is apalling. When we were raising our child, my wife made sure that my working life was not getting in the way of the time I needed to spend with him. As also someone noted, the lies go back years. Again, if she had such a big problem, you have not noted her attempts from the past to communicate this. You have painted a man who I think would have listened and tried to fix things or at least cut back a liitle. You have also shown him to be not very knowledgeable about divorce law: maybe you need to emphasize that a little more for him as well as us. He has made some strategic mistakes because maybe he is thinking like a prosecutor instead of a defense attourney for himself. The friends he has are good, but I really think he needs a friend who will go and tell her off and try to get her to see what damage she has done to him. That reprehensible remark - buy your sex if you need too - was such a shallow, meanspirited attack. He is already feeling sexually inadequate and she keeps kicking him between his legs. I realize he has chosen celibacy so as not to be like her: he can do what he wants after the divorce - but she feels no guilt for her remarks and no guilt for turning the kids against him. She too easily just moves on. Doug is really a manipulative predator. I do not think he is really worried about his career because you have made him so sexually arrogant that I suspect he thinks that if he moves far enough away he can sway someone else to his side and move on in his career, even without a "good" recommendation. I know you feel bad about the slowness of your chapters. But do not get in such a hurry that you do not take enough time to proof read your work. While there were just a few errors in spelling, grammar, and punctuation, I applaud the quality so far and just ignore the rabble who are overly critical: they need to let the story percolate at its own rate.

I hate to think that Bill would go through all this physical training for naught. Perhaps he catches Dougie boy banging his daughter and proceeds to kick the shit out of him. Y'all are pretty genteel so maybe it might be one of those boxing smokers we have around here. Where the sheriff fights the leader of the local bikers. Or the president of the university squares off against the pres of the community college. (you get the idea, I don't want to use the hammer) <P>

BTW I don't think Bill lost that first fight. Last man standing wins bragging rights in a bar fight. In less friendlier confines, Doug would still be in the hospital. <P>

As for his kids, He should have drown those puppies at birth.

Very powerful writing. The presentation of the emotional fallout from the breakdown of the relationship is extraordinary. Perhaps you should think about turning this into a full-length novel ...

Sean

I have become a big fan of yours. Your stories are gripping and the characters are well developed. I have read other comments that say that you should make Bill a wimp. Its your story...spin it the way you want to. There are many of us readers who are enthralled by your writing. 86 comments on a story posted one day should tell you something. keep up the great writing.

Rayne

PS I have commented on every part of this story...I almost never leave comments.

and lead /mentor the younger ASA's in his office. Bill needs to guide those around him, not turn them against him. It seems he has awakened to this problem and I hope that part of him is addressed in a later chapter. I say that because if he can't see that he needs this change, in his most prized "vocation", he stands no chance of getting anywhere with his children. Focus on his job should be less, as good as he is, he should focus on the " people" around him. As has been mentioned, his MIL had some insight, maybe he should have used that to his advantage, info/thoughts from her could be significant. This is a good story, but SHIT, I just hate RAAC! If he just keeps going same ol same ol, that's insanity, Debbie has proven she is not NOT trustworthy, by not sharing details about their children, about the problems she was having and then getting indignant because Bill had the nerve to show up at a uni function and piss on her parade. Well damn, don't let Bill flounder, get him up and moving around, let him see the world around him, the people are the most important, lots of directions this can go. Good luck with it, DQS. OBTW, take your time, if it takes an extra day, SO BE IT, just keep up the good work. Thanks for the stories.

Another totally engaging chapter. In this chapter I think we have been shown that all three people have made mistakes that destroyed this marriage. The husband had been MIA for years. The wife probably could have done something, but we don't know how much of an effort she made to save the marriage before all of this happened yet. Instead, she drove the stake through the heart of it. And now we see that Doug had been a snake and seducing her the whole time. It's also interesting up to now, that the only one who has accepted any blame is the husband. Doug still thinks he's a good guy. And the wife still blames her husband. I have one prediction, when they finally do fight, I'm sorry to say, but Doug is still going to kick Bill's butt. No way he can develop golden glove champion skills at his age even if he worked at it ten hours a day.

though if I saw the wife get hit by a car I wouldn't stop to help her. I'd love for her to catch Dougy doing her daughter, Give her a taste of her own medicine. She wasn't such a good mother either, both kids are assholes. I have to say that I to think she's been cheating sexually, flashing her tits, inappropriate conversations, kissing after her dates, there is more to sex than cock inserted into cunt. Doug may have been a preditor but she was an asshole. Let's look at her, she's been bad mouthing him to friends and family for years (ie kid's and father's op[inions), blaming him for everything but she was bringing work home to grade papers untill 10-11 as well. It wasn't just him. She'd been lying to him for ever, going out to bars and parties while claiming to be at work. Her more recent behaviour with Doug is just the final cap. As he gets back into shape, I hope he finds someone worth his time while she gets the short end if everything. A lonely life with a boyfriend who's been doing her daughter, her emails exposed to friends, family and coworkers, no career advancement and no alimomy. That's what her actions bought her.

Our animals aren’t getting fed, the yard is un-mowed, my kids are running wild, and I think my wife is flirting with a much younger co-worker….

I enjoy that you make your hero flawed, and able to allow that he might have some culpability in his disaster-of-a-marriage. Too, as despicable as Deb’s actions are, I like still like her. I’m hoping when you grant her the realization of “what she threw away” (per Debbie's mom) the considerable vengeance of the Florida ADA won’t staunch her effort to get him back. Let Bill do the cute trainer on the courthouse steps (in front of her) and give ‘em an hour to draw a crowd. Well, maybe not…, but something hurtful.

I hope you accept some of the brusque critiques as motivation for your imagination. I wish I could offer something constructive.

Tale of two titties, indeed (thanks harddaysknight) – we obviously have Great Expectations for these characters and the life you breathe into them.

I'm really enjoying this story and I'm enjoying the comments almost as much.

There are so many ways things can go right now from the way the author has been developing the story and characters.

I see Bill as retaining his dignity and self respect when this is all over. I think Debbie is going to be the one who torches herself in the end by being a self centered bitch. Doug is going to turn on Debbie and his next target will be Bill and Debbie's kids which is what will bring about the fated rematch between Bill and Doug. Bill will fight for his kids at this point but not for Debbie. I think after that the kids will be spilling the beans on mom and shattering Bill's illusion that she has been a great mother thus lessening some of his guilt of being an absentee Dad.

This new court case of the "mercy killing" is going to be a mirror of Bill's current marital woes only where the couple stayed together and her cheating contributed to the husband "mercy" kill. It will give Bill some perspective.

I could be wrong but I think the rich texan father of the baby killer was merely a device to show that when seriously threatened Bill has a back bone and a set of brass balls. It also shows that Bill has friends in high and low places which may become a factor in the story later on.

Yep, there are still alot of ways this story can go but I don't see a reconciliation being part of it. This feels alot like a story that is going to end with "the best revenge is a life lived well" . I could be wrong and probably am but still I'm going to have fun finding out as new chapters are posted.

The deciding factor of whether this story is just good or great will be in how the author handles the ending. I think most of us can agree on that.

a good story, but just a story. Sorry, size14shoe, but you're way off the mark re: Debbie. When she has private e-mails where she maligns her husband sexually to another man, there is nothing redemptive. She is a cheater whether the act had been compensated or not. As Jimmy Carter would say, 'she had cheated in her heart'. If there is a problem in a marriage, the one who realizes it (Debbie) should have started counseling or communicating with the other spouse to rectify or alleviate the problem. To fall into the arms of another, does not a victim make! Bill may have been obtuse; but, that does not excuse Deb's behavior (regardless of how predatory Doug may have been).

Excellent story and I love how empassioned everyone is but it is just a story. Relax, and enjoy. Thanks Dan!

You know what would be a good scene? Doug and Bill getting ready to fight again as debbie watches on.... Doug sees a new stronger more confident bill and knows its this is going to be harder fight.... then Bill stops and says ...

" Fuck it Doug... you want her? Fine she is yours... she isnt worth the trouble.."

size 14... I do not KNOW if she was ACTUALLY screwing Doug at the time when Bill saw the shaved pussy way back in chapter 1.

BUT you are the one that asserted we KNOW that Debbie had not yet physically cheated with doug.

I am sure Debbie thinks she was NOT cheating emotionally when she was spending all that time and intimacies with doug... but come on so fooking what? That is HER rationalization

dude I think Jessica Alba secretly wants to fuck my brains out. But that is NOT reality and neither are twisted perceptions....

we AGREE that Doug was trying to ruin her marriage. Ok Fine.

but it was Debbie who just HAD to stick the knife about Doug fabulous big cock when they were talking about alimony...TWICE.

it was DEBBIE who suggested that Bill had to go pay for some whore/ hooker to get laid. That is just beyond mean... its exceptionally cruel and hateful...

Of course YOU cannot seem to EVER mention or focus on these things because well according to you Debbie is the victim...

Sure the Ball appears to be half white and half black from one side and half Black and half white on the other side ....BUT it is STILL a ball.

and for the record... I have NOT made any comments at all about reconciliation. I do see what others are talking about how the ground seems to be being laid but IMO this could go either way...or perhaps Just a partial reconciliation.

as it stands right now.. I have No bias one way or the other. My focus is that these issues / conflicts HAVE to be " dealt" with. Ignoring them Just to get them back together would be very bad IMO.

Once again this has been a amazing journey with the story. I've certainly enjoyed it all. I think Deb had better keep a close eye on Slick Willie (Doug) as he has designs on Kelly no matter how he twists the story with her. That also was some grandstand he was giving Deb towards the end of this chapter but if she listened closely he told her right from the start he had designs for her and planned on her seduction. I still think Bill is a good guy, just got caught up in work and probably took his wife for granted. Glad he is working out and he might want to take Kelly to the gym to have the instructor give her some tactics and moves for unwanted advances from males. He also might want to take his son to the gym to help him build his body to impress the ladies. Great story, truly enjoy it and light up when I see another segment posted. Thanks for sharing.

Perhaps Bill can get his hair worked on, too. New hair surgery. That way at the confrontation, she sees the Bill she new years ago, but stronger and more confident. She needs to be exposed, the emails and parties was an emotional affair. He wasn't crazy, but his poor effort to save his marriage. The threats should go out, go after lover boy and the university, but he should shock the world when he wins that big court case, and says to the public and the news that this case has come with a big price--he's lost the love of his life and the children he adored--and quits to accept that offer out of state. Then she realizes how badly she's done and accepts the terms. Perhaps it can even end with a new love interest, or as a strange twist, Debbie comes to see him months after the divorce in this new town.

These two both love each other, but they have hurt each other so badly that I can't see how you can ever create a situation where they can be together. I would hope that somehow you can at least ease the pain that they both feel, that somehow you create a relationship out of these lives that have crashed and burned. I do believe in consequences, and she certainly has been a "cheating wife" and done serious damage and inflicted great pain, but he is not totally blameless either. I look forward to seeing where you take us, the story saddens me, but I can't seem to wait for the next installment. Thanks, Gary

Both children becoming sexually active and Debbie chooses not to tell Bill because......? Debbie keeps the confidence of her children against their father? She wouldn't have withheld the fact that either one of them failed a grade, or got arrested, would she? He MUST have done something horrible!

She actively participated in the creation of or widening of the chasm between Bill and his kids. I find that, above all else, simply inexcusable unless you can document some grievous harm Bill committed early on in their marriage.

Failure to inform her husband of these incredibly important developmental milestone was akin to refusing to take a child with a fever to the doctor. She withheld those events on purpose. She was angry as hell at Bill and was getting back at him watching her kids grow further and further apart from their father. But her punishment doesn't fit the crime, unless there is more crime to reveal.

DQS, you're going to have to round this out with some back story somewhere. I have faith that you already have that planned, other wise you wouldn't have revealed these two facts. Wow, how are you going to resolve this one?

I do hope you have Bill continue to try with his kids. They've been manipulated into believing their father is inconsequential in their lives, but Bill can change that with perseverance ...and some thick skin. I don't like seeing bad things happen to kids, even snotty teenagers.

Love your insight and "discussion with size 14 and his weird, unstable read of this story.

The things Doug ranted about left me wondering how he can really call himself a "good person", a substantial person"

and a professional with a well published career.

If he was so well published and such a good professor how come he was assigned to a older professor as an apprentice?

Also in Doug's rant he implied that the adultery "SEX" started well before the award dinner.

I despise writers who don't want to have a bad guy, and right now Daniel is proving to be everyihing I hate in an author.

CHoose a bloody bad guy Daniel. You spent half this story showing that Debbie is a self-serving cum receptacle and then you turn around and have Doug first show that he's a manipultative bastard before trying the BS redemption about how he's still there for the son of the first woman he seduced when he was 22.

The quality of the writing is fine. Technically this is a superior work.

But please. Let's have consistent characters, so we know who in hell to root for. Right now I find Bill Jr, and Kelly to be spoiled, stupid, blind and willful brats who I hope are killed in an auto accident. Debbie to be a mindless slut who probably couldn't handle the cash register at a fast food restauarant let alone be a successful professor.

Doug's little brag is so unrealistic as to make me wonder why you didn't add in that he's an Ex-Navy Seal with a medal of honor. It's about the only thing that's missing from his college with honors, ex-Olympic level boxer with the horse cock that makes women throw themselves at him. God I wanted to puke when I read that. It was unnecessary unless you are going to have 99.99999999999999999% of it prove to be a lie in a future chapter. Which considering the level of manipulation you show is remotely possible, but your other plot threads don't really support that kind of ending.

And Bill Sr. is completely unrealistic as a District Attorney. I don't know how many lawyers you know, but I've never met one who wouldn't go for the jugular every time even if they "loved" the target. heck, the rumors about how his trophy wife dumped him would have every defense attorney in the region thinking of ways to get him off his game. If any of them found out that he hadn't tried to destory her when he had the chance his career and ability to sway juries would be severely impaired. He HAS to take Debbie down for his own career. Unless he doesnt' care about that, and you have him only caring about his career until that moment when he does a 180 in personality.

I recommand this to many authors and I can see you NEED to do this. Write out full and detailed biographies on your main characters. Include things like their likes and dislikes. Would they lie? If they would, what do they see worth lying for. What do they see worth dying for. What are their hobbies. Do they accept people breaking promises with them? Do they feel that breaking promises is ever acceptable. Make it a detailed description of their personality and upbringing. Make it so that you KNOW the character intimiately and will always ask when writing a scene. Does this fit my character. Would the biography I wrote up support them acting this way. For both Bill Sr and later Debbie I've seen too many things that make me say. "There ain't no way they would act like that" based on the previous scenes they had been in.

I'll keep reading, because I love to watch a plot trainwreck on the need of a writer to force an ending, but this story would be much better if you had worried more about making the characters consistent than in making sure you can reach the ending you want.