All Comments on 'White Lies'

?????????

Come on, finish it!

Can't wait for the next chapter. Don't get mad get even, I love it!

A really dark sad story. A lot of grief in this character.

An interesting read though.

Thanks

Folks, you didn't miss anything. If you had been paying attention you know exactly what he is going to do: most likely use the stun gun on the good doctor to immobilize him and then chop him into little bits to get rid of the body. I suspect that Carla can expect the same. However, good man that he is, he wanted to see Sara married off first.

I thought it was very well done and in a very noir way dealt with the infidelity. Yes, I know that people would hate what he is planning because the daughter will be hurt but that was a given the first time the wife lied. I mean at some point she would find out who her real father is and then she would have to deal with the infidelity, her mothers lying and her fathers concealment of the truth. So the kid was screwed anyway it went.

Personally, after reading all the Kumbaya stories here of late, I welcome a good slasher revenge story.

Good Work

Regards

C

This reminds me of 1940's black and white movies. He is going to end the situation but it will be his end, too. The wife has betrayed him so thoroughly that he has no alternatives and no remorse left. Well written and absolutely compelling. Thank you.

Please write another chapter for us , dont leave us just hanging here lol . This story is about two totally dysfunctional people , but you did such a good job of it that we as readers need to know how it ends . You are a good writer , some stories I like , some I dont but keep em coming !

He's never gonna do it if he didn't pull it off in the initial heat of his rage, and after 20 years of being made an asshole of. He'll start rationalizing again like he did throughout the story, finding ways to coexist with or find excuses for the girls that did him wrong throughout the tale. (Remember how he got back with his wife near the end even though she'd done nothing, then nothing really, then nothing to speak of, well not for long really, according to her). Come on. Self preservation will have him putting his pussy tail between his legs and he'll be crying in his beer again soon and making all kinds of bad sounding noises to himself, but nothing will happen on his end, and she's still working late at the hospital a couple of nights a week so he knows he's still being played for the fool. He's all bluster and talk the talk, and, "I'm gonna do this to you (fill in the blank)" but no walk the walk. He'll even rationalize since the daughter will find out bad things about her mom if he acts, he can't act anyway. But just wait he'll say to himself, I'm gonna do something real bad to him real soon. Just wait. Yeah sure. BIG WIMP.

Wake me up when you start writing erotica.

....maybe a bit "dusky" but what the hell the bitch manipulated then destroyed his life. What the fuck does he have to lose? Anonymous who thinks the worst acts of man are carried out in a blind rage needs to visit a couple hospitals for the criminally insane.This guy's hate could build to a crescendo. This "protagonista' only wimped out the appropriate times someone like him would, he's not a friggin' tycoon for chrisake.Please more!

I'd like to better understand Carla's motivations, but David's are all too clear. He had the perfect life, and he just found out it was all a lie. Also, I think where you ended the story is better than fleshing out the end. All of our imaginations know that little Johnny is going to become even littler Johnnies, and we are left with our sense of dread and foreboding about what happens to Carla and David.

I liked it. I need more though. Finish it. We need to finish off that doctor. I love it when Hubby gets REVENGE!!! Cut off all of his extremities, including his COCK. But let the good doctor live.

Great story but where's the Beaf! (ending)

Too Sad...years of cheating!

Don't leave us and the hero hanging. Please finish the story, I want to experience his payback on dr.asshole, and I want to read about carla's suuferring. She screwed this good guy over for 20 years, and I'm so tired of reading wimp stories. Please finish this one so literotica has closure with this bitch.

...economically told but portraying great anguish.

This is a really sad tale and he's devastated, but I think he's also determined to act at the right time.

Whether MGM writes a sequel or not, the good ol' doctor is going to get his - she may too. To live with this without some kind of violent revenge would be almost impossible. The down side to killing the fucker(s) would be incarceration or death row AND the effect on his little girl of having to live without daddy as well.

Thanks MGM - a real thought-provoker.

I know that he is hurting,but he has to go back to the bar, and talk to the little old lady, before he does something stupid, and ends up in jail, for the rest of his life.

We can all imagine several different scenarios for an ending and only YOU can put your ending in place. Likely, some of us will think of different endings - but, you need to do it, for those of us that read your stories the minute we see you are the author.

Give some thought to the daughter, her husband and grandchildren living with deceased parents.

I think, even if he went to jail for castrating Johnny and rendering Carlas' sexual apparatus useless, at least his daughter could still see him. They should be considered and the only consideration for Carla & Johnny, all the lifelong hurt that he can muster up to make them live in hell for years.

Thanks for the story, it was, as always, entertaining, stimulating - BUT - needs you to end it.

Thanks!!!!!!!

I just finished Rehnquist last submission The Bar and Grill and love his writing but I have to disagree with him that the ending was good the way it was. Although I may not agree with how you might bring this full circle, it is your story and should be completed.

the story is really good. i love your writing style. and i like the ending. burn, baby, burn. Carla is gonna regret her lies.

MGM is one of out best writers. He varies the plots quite a bit and finds

fresh insights. Thanks!

While I would enjoy reading a complete ending I think whats going to happen is pretty well defined. What are her motivations and thoughts however? This wasnt covered at all. She claims to love him so more info is needed. All in all very well done. Mike in Missouri

I hope the husband truly does get some revenge on both the wife and her lover. And I hope it's served very,very cold.

Let me see if I have this right.... Walker KNOWS ...deep down in his soul...in his very being.... KNOWS... that his Loving wife has been fucking her Boyfriend the handsome doctor with the Red hair for years.

In the story it is clear that he knows even BEFORE the DNA report. IN the story the actual DNA report confirms what he KNOWS.

walker is well beyond stunned. He is beyond Rage. The world no longer makes any sense to him.

20+ years of serial cheating. His entire mental health has been shattered. So what does Walker do?

he naturally gets together with the wife and they fuck.

yeah that sounds like rage to me.

This action on walkers part makes no sense. This is Just irrational. One expects to read this sort of crap from JPB or Matt Moreau.

awful .

MGM needs to have mercy on his readers and finish the story . He can go in many directions with how this goes down , the husband is waiting for the right time , If he wants to and has any hope of getting away with it ( i hope he does ) he needs to be patient and think it out and plan . If they lived in Arizona , the locals all know that their are 100's of undocumented vertical mine shafts all over the place left over from the 1800's . Its also well known that people dropped in one of them are never seen again , no body , no evidence to prove the guy just didnt up and skip town . Etc.

The guy could also ( and realistically ) have his wife sold to a brothel in mexico , where she will be screwed alll the time until she gets older . After which they simply kill her when she is no longer needed . ( by the way readers , this does happen Very , Very frequently in Mexico . This is a country that is run by the drug cartels . White women especially teenagers are kidnaped way to often for this )

MGM , please give the story some thought and finish the tale .

HarryinVA now hates EVERYTHING I write!

That means I must be pretty good!

*Cause he keeps right on reading them.

LoL

MGM

The bastard and the cheating cunt NEED to suffer.

Mags... in your other story today I praised it. It was very well done and had no plot holes in it ... unlike this.

However I get YOUR standard. NO amount of carefully thought out well argued feedback about any of your stories will be tolerated.

to MOST folks complaing and asking about this glaring plot hole is actually rather reasonable. In no way did I I comment about YOU-- just your story.

Realistic.Harry has a point, he was already out the door.But he is keeping it together for the girl that he has brought up. What we have here....is a man on a mission. A woman who is not his daughter and a cheating wife. A second chapter where he chops the fucker up with the axe would be fun. A small hole is easier to dig. A man who fucks another's wife is a thief. Plain and simple. I would not let him get away with it.

This story leaves a bad taste in my mouth. The people in it are all pretty yucky people. Walker is probably meant to be a sympathetic character but he is pretty clueless, maybe sadly like a lot of people. He hangs around a loser bar trying to pick up women. It's not a big surprise that the woman he wanted was really a hooker. Early on, he's whining about his life and I think he was right but didn't do too much to fix it. Carla dropped into his lap but it turns out she was just looking for someone to raise her kid. A twenty year betrayal is pretty hard to get over. I get him being pissed at Johnny but he was actually in the picture before Walker. It was Carla that put this awful mess together. What is he going to do about her besides divorcing her? Is he a wimp? He is clueless and seems to have little real control of his life. He could rip Johnny to shreds and Carla too for that matter and it would feel like it serves no purpose. I can't imagine anything he can do to overcome this betrayal. That's why the story is so dark. He's hopelessly lost. He's not a bright hero figure, the wonderful husband, but he doesn't deserve this either. But that's what happened and that's what he is stuck with. Sad.

I agree with several previous critiques. The result was not suitable to the crime. The real criminal here was the wife, not the "boyfriend". He was a player, to be sure, but she certainly learned that sometime over the past 20 years. She lied to Walker to get married; she lied when she continued to see Johnny. She lied at the end. Yet it does NOT seem as though she receives an ounce of Walker's well deserved rage. He should use the stun gun on her and then divorce her sorry ass, not live with her comfortably while waiting to get Johnny (who had her before Walker even came on the scene.)

Bad conclusion to a good story.

Terrific! At first I didn,t like the ending...but after a couple of hours...the story haunted me and then of course, I loved the ending because so much was left unsaid. Well produced Magmaman...lava the story!

But then I opened my email box. Interesting, the different opinions on the same piece. A story that I just sat down and wrote, it simply ran out of the keyboard. Normally I either write myself into a corner with no logical way out, or find myself having to go back and change the title.

More surprising were requests for some type of real conclusion, rather than what I often like to do which is rely on the imagination of the reader.

For some, only death, mayhem will suffice. Others would have him turn the other cheek and walk away. Which will it be? I can't even answer myself, what runs out of the keyboard is what we will get.

OK. I will write another chapter. Yes, this is a bit dark, with some less than nice people. In life, those types seldom improve.

MGM

Love the viscious revenge to come!

You've built this guy up to be basically good, loyal, and honest.

His wife has lied for 20 years, denied him a child, possibly denied him a woman who would have been faithful, and has continued to lie to him even when confronted with the man she's been fucking over and over.

So please go for the deep cut here, not a weak blow.

He can easy take out the doctor, but that is too simple. He needs to do it in a way that really makes him suffer. The doctor has known what is going on all along.

He also needs to make the cheating wife suffer. Not some simple divorce, or statement, and not even a quick death. She needs to be destroyed for her callous evil actions of 20 years.

So clearly she loves doctor guy. So the husband needs to take doctor guy down in front of her. I'm thinking stun gun first followed by slow poison, or perhaps forcing his hands and dick to be corroded away in something caustic like lime. A nice slow painful way to go.

This needs to be done in front of the wife. Perhaps she can be tied to a chair?

After the good doctor has been rendered less than a man, and not dead because that is even nastier than death. It is time for the wife.

It needs to be rather grisly to pay her back. She should live, but she should never again be able to enjoy life. She stole 20 years from him, she needs to suffer at least as long. Selling to a brothel is old and been done.

Perhaps she and doctor guy can be taken to a house and kept locked in the cellar and made to be his play things for 20 years?

Some might say this is too dark. Compared to the cheating, deceit, and betrayal by so many wives on literotica it's pretty mild. Besides it's almost Halloween so go on take a bite of darkness, chew it, and enjoy.

What is the point of this drivel? Did your dog die? Hate life today? Pathetic. But there seems to be a market for wimp husband, unspeakably cruel wife tales.

to go dark but really, it came off lame. i dont want to be a dick but this is a pathetic story. i dont understand how he can stay with her. i mean really, is he gonna kill or maybe castrate the doc? and then leave his whore of a wife? you should gotten a better editor. please do better on the next chapter. also, i know you like to leave the endings for the readers imagination to figure out, but thats bullshit. its a cop-out and its lazy.

I would have rather him hook up with Sherry at the end, even if it was for revenge fucks. Or, just walk away and find someone else, and have children that she denyed him. I am hoping that he cleanly does away with the doctor, and gets away with it. The hatchet and stun gun seem a bit crude.

is that she was so vile and decieving that she must pay and pay big time. It hurts peoples sense of justice to see this vile self serving bitch get away with it. I am of a minority when I don't blame the man on cheating wives stories he did not make a vow before god and family she did and with that as my mother said it is her job to keep her legs closed to everyone but her man. In closing get the bitch let her burn torture slowly but lets have fun with it!!!!!!!

can they finish a story.

But I personally think that ruining the wife and the doctors reputation would be a better revenge. If he kills them he will hurt himself and his daughters (I know, not his biological daughter) life the most. Sure, the wife and doctor will be dead, but they will not suffer in any much because they will all ready be dead. I mean, come on, they totally duped him probably from the beginning. If you decide to write another chapter to this story, I hope you will concider a more elaborate revenge...and a more lasting one.

Love to see where Walker goes with his Rage,

is it Only Johnny or is is Johnny & The B!tch.

I liked this story I dont know why i do but I do.

To me the greater betrayal is the wife denying her husband any children of his. Thats what hurts the most. I'd think about asking if Sherry could still be a mother for his children.

Also he lied to 'his daughter' about an important fact.

I'd like to see him get his actual revenge but then as one author once said his readers can oftern come up with better endings then he can. The ending does work.

Like your writing style and I love where the 'victim' gets revenge.

Please write another chapter. Yes, we think we know what Walker intends, but he has descended into a calm purpose that Carla may have to live with. Crazed, Walker is the product of her betrayal and the instrument of her torment. The most dangerous are those who appear and act rationally, except for some single point of diversion that makes all of their hidden actions rational in their universe, abhorent in ours. Think Dahmer and Dexter.

You need to end this story.

To write more will please half the readers and annoy the rest. It is a dark story, but well done and complete.

the bitch and get the doctors blood all over her and her prints all over the hatchet. Fucker 's dead and the cunt pays the price. End of story.

Why would wife Carla want to have Walker raise Sara, when she would have had a far more secure, better standard of living (not to mention the wife) if she had married the doctor in the first place? Oh, I recall -- he was just a boyfriend, and things didn't work out, or something (at least, that's what she said). But if she was seeing "Johnny" all this time, then I guess things did work out between her and her prior lover. So why not marry Jonathan at the start? This all seems pretty unclear to me. My other question concerns the lack of "Part 1" in the title. The author says (in one of his comments) that he only intended this as a stand-alone story, yet most comments indicate that the majority of readers (including yours truly) got the impression that there was more to follow -- the story just leaves one hanging, as it were, and that is not very satisfying. Killing the doctor (don't we all hate doctors, except when we really need them) won't undo what has been done. It will feel good for a brief time, but is it worth life in prison, possibly on death row? I personally agree with a lot of other readers that the brunt of the blame falls on Carla -- she was the cheating wife, who lied, cuckolded Walker, and deceived him into raising a child for whom he was not the biologic father. I think a sulfuric acid douche would be too good for her . . . Thanks for writing.

I have to say I never expected quite this reaction to a simple story that just ran out onto the pages, starting with not a single idea in my head except for the title.

So I will write the second chapter, in fact it is done..sort of, I have to go correct my typical few hundred typos yet.

Those of you who wanted an actual conclusion (which I thought I did already) you will....well, HATE it!

The rest? Those of you who think it is done the way it is?

Don't you DARE read it!

LoL

MGM

I’ve been following this site for over than 5 years and have never requested a favor from an author until now: PLEASE finish it! IMHO this is your best work so far so make an effort and complete it.

Believe me – it is cruel to leave all of your fans in the middle of an intersection!

Thanks

Carla clearly loves Walker.

She is having regular sex with Jonny.

She was trying to resolve the two with her announcement to Walker about having an affair - trying to fix-after-the-fact.

Carla is nuts, by most peoples understanding.

Walker is now, also, nuts, by most peoples understanding.

Walker wasn't too sorted out either, as shown by by his previous relationships (nuts stalking virgin? Hooker on a break?).

this is all, unfortunately, not uncommon.

Good story - thanks. While I think it is done, I would also read any continuation... but I will reserve the right to think of it as one of those "follow on" pieces fanboys tend to write.

WE don't know for sure she is fucking the doctor still do we? And its possible she got pregnant before they got together exclusive. Or not?

Please let the red-headed piss-ant be crucified and be missing both arms & legs just like idiots like "fuck-me shoe 14 no balls" & fag-ass mancelt ass-wipes should be dealt with.

I understand your position to end this story the way you did but without a final conclusion (in my opinion) I can't rate this story any higher than a 2-star. But overall I feel it was a good story with very few typos.

Hadn't read this until I noticed chapter one. Always a fan of this author. Now I'll read chapter two.

No imagination. No appreciation of suspense. That was half the fun of the tale! Lead a reader up the garden path and show them the apple tree, while talking about the apple pie you are going to make. Then the reader has to go home, never actually seeing the pie get made or eaten, just taking it on faith that it was done as implied.

Insinuation is a time honored way to end a short story. I enjoyed the story and understand what the most likely path to the end will be. There's a cliched phrase : opinions are like assholes everyone has one and most of them stink. Keep on doing what entertains you and I'll say again I like your stories.

Just reread my comment. I was venting about some of the readers and their lack of imagination, not the author. This is good stuff.

who make comments about other readers. What the fuck makes you think your opinion is better than any other reader. Grow up.

This is so far short of your better efforts.

The deceit goes on for how many years, and he says ...wait. Truth will out as to paternity and the loving wife and the actions for not another child. Like a band aid- pull off quickly. For his own sanity and ability to just to live, he needs to be able to have some peace. No need for violence, rather closure and being without Carla in his future.

as a man you find out the child that you have raise her whole life isn't yours and you shred the proof, god I hate fucking wimps. White lies my ass she a cheating bitch and he's a pussy for even talking to her.

He was a chucklehead for seeing that red hair on the newborn girl & not getting blood paternity test or DNA analysis ( unsure about technology of the day). So my sympathy is limited. Other then that quibble , I too am on ' nins & peddles ' to quote Zed.

no hurry, the new victim to be had been warned. TK U MLJ LV NV

For your information if you have any Irish, Scotish, Welsh, or Scandinavian roots; you are likely to have red heads for some of your ancestors.

So far, your story is an antidote. I skipped through one by UKresearcher just a short while ago, and I needed this to bring the world right again.

5 stars for chapter 1

We will see whether or not he can resolve his conflicts.

He has now lost all of the important differentiators - he is insane - good luck.

A lot of information in this first chapter. Good lead in for ch.2. We'll see...

cuckie from begining to end.

its not murder its killing a traitor ,putting a rabid bitch down,it is a crime but no sin.

hope he gets away with it.

This is begging for a part 2...

HOPE HE BLASTS BOTH OF THEM - CHEATING SLUTS DESERVE NO MERCY

An excellent tale. Can't wait to see how it turns out. Five stars.

arrogance and ego overcomes common sense. TK U MLJ LV NV

And to he'll with all of the sissy faggots who don't like that. Kill them all. Other then that I have no feelings on the matter.

My second time through. I had neglected to read the last chapter and needed a refresher.

What the hell.

But we all know he will pussy out, take her back and offer to share with Johnny, while playing with himself. That's how Magmaman likes it, so thats how he'll write it in ch.2. She'll get exactly what she wants, because Mgm hates to see a guy win.

but those who rush into a thing may be incarcerated, TK U MLJ LV NV

this so close to cuckold central you need to bring in a mop. There is so much cuckold shit on the floor its getting deep.

There is nothing erotic about a married women being pregnant by another man. Not only is this devastating for the man, but also for the child.

it surpasses it.

Two more chapters? Why?

Goes straight to the problem. I don't think the axe is necessary though. Taking out the knees usually does the job.

Someday, something may happen that makes it important for her to know whose genes she's inherited.

Read it again. Didn't realize at first that the wife was just a fucking cheating whore just using our hero. Betraying him all along, including not letting him father their child. Fucking low-life cheating cunt. Fuck!

Interesting. I do hate it when authors fail to indicate that a story is a series.

First, she traps him into marriage with another man's baby, and I guess we'll see in the later chapters, but right now I'm SURE she knew!

And then secretly going on birth control, denying him chance to father his own child, then continuing to cheat, even trying to get him to be a knowing, if unwilling cuckold.

As soon as Sara is home from her honeymoon he should tell her just how much of a slut her mother is!

She tried to play it off as a "getting older" or something fling, when it has really been going on for years!

Are there really heartless, soulless cunts like this???

Ouch!!!

great LW story

Hope this is a good deception story as he doesn't deserve this shit, pain, anguish or the police rap. Plus what would that do to Sara knowing what her 'life' dad did in mom's lover and her biological? Does he never want to see his grandkids? But how will he make Carla pay for her deception?

Well he always has Sherry, she wanted to go straight. And maybe the hatchet is to remove all male items making eunuch of the doc insuring Carla can come off the pill.

Miss: Carla never saw the missing bank money?

My first wife did the same thing. Told me she was pregnant and I was going to be a father. Turns out she hadn't stopped fucking her boyfriend while we were going out and during our engagement. I didn't find out until years later.

My son was not my son. I didn't find out until his first birthday. An odd present was sent and it was just signed T. My wife pretended not to know and I didn't give it much thought. About a week later, I had finished an addition and began moving our spare bedroom into it, the spare was going to be part of the master.

I found a manila envelope taped on the back of the bureau. That was odd and I opened it wondering if the previous owner had left something important. Nope, love letters from T. There was 18 months worth and I learned my son was never my son and T knew it all along.

My wife was gone visiting her mother. I packed my personal shit and tossed it in the truck and got ready to leave. Before I did, the envelope contents were spread across the dining room table with my wedding ring and cell phone on top. I'm an author so I work from home and everything was on a couple laptops. I can work from anywhere in the world.

A judge saw it my way. I'd copied everything and when she tracked me down using a PI, professing her undying love, I had her served. It was ugly, in the press and dragged out for another 2 years. When it was all cut and dried, I was living with everything but our house an it's contents, in Belize, where I still write from. My ex? She got nothing of my books or income or the love-letters would be exposed.

Just right.

5-stars

maybe a small alleviation of ones mindset, TK U MLJ LV NV

Birth control pills have very noticeable affect on females, especially ''flat'' ones. Their breats increase dramatically in size.

Hope his future ''chop chop'' plans include his wife. Wait until future convention, then made sure the lovers are bound facing each other as parts get trimmed. Have butane torch to cauterize each chopping wound. Would not want either bleeding to deat before surgery was complete

The kid isn't his. The wife liked about the red hair. She has continued to sleep with the other guy. She takes birth control pills. She liked about not seeing him again. She said they didn't do anything when he caught them together.

Why in the world did he get back with her after 2 months? There was no real explanation, just a time shift to 2 months later.

Unfinished stories. The doc is a dead man but what about the cheating slut!