by DarkBetrayal
Maybe I should hire some BLACK strippers to seduce my hubby away. It sure wouldn't be a very big loss.
Orpheum69
It's not up to much. It might help for the future, though, if you learned how to spell "faint".
You can't write for shit. Your story is unfocused and too quick.
Dumbass is setting himself up for a fall. Black girls only wanted him because he was married. He betrayed his wife. He gets wjat he deserves.
told us it was about adultery -- he didn't say that there was also racial humiliation of the poor white wife in the deal. To be sure 49 times out of 50 on this site it's poor old white husband who gets racially humiliated at the hands of white wife and black lover, but it's still racial humiliation. Common theme: random blacks like to get between white spouses and humiliate one of them at the hands of the other.. 1 star! And a warning shouldn't deny the right to comment either.
We white men(even married white men) are so EASILY lured into the bed by black women.
...now that he's no longer a married man.
Mary's treatment didn't really flow with the rest of the story. It felt thrown with no development.
"MARY, YOUR HUSBAND IS MINE!" What the hell kind of a tat is that? The only kind of value that would have long term enough to make it worth the effort would be to keep the married couple together, cut her off and prevent her from getting some on the side (Yay! Chastity piercings!), all the while keeping the dancer in the family way. Maybe force the wife to watch. Maybe it was a henna tat, yes?
Like some of the others, I can't give you a 100 like I want because some things were off, more like one thing. What happened to Jan?
yo dah wife was severly deaded, she even signed away her clothes, that banannas
Well at least Monica's baby is going to enjoy chocolate milk mixed with white cream....
on the one hand, such utter passion, and the other, the cruelty of them. for mary, there was nothing to bind her to him, so that is a positive; them, i am unsure what to think
The first half of your story laid out the potential dangers of giving into temptation. The embrace of a whore or slut is easier made than broken. The theme of the story would of been better served if Jim would of been caught by Mary divorced and the strippers laughing at him for being so stupid as they go onto their next conquest. These girls weren't looking for love.
In your disclaimer, you forgot en_extase. He writes the same types of stories. I'm sorry I can't give you 100, I felt rushed and Jim could have been a little more "reluctant".
Looking forward to see more of your works.
Mmmmm, evil sexy black girls seducing and corrupting a horny white guy. More, more!
Where did Jan go?
That tattoo is going to last forever?
Just some points that struck me as 'off'.
Other than that, a good story.