All Comments on 'Wonderland Ch. 06'

Great mix of words artfully displayed

and more intrigue to the story. i know that chapter is long enough but damn i am going to say it, i want more, now, asap, yesterday *winks*

i just don't get yet why Talon is "ditching" Tempest. he's claiming to be her mate and he can fly rather fast if he wants, why can't he check up on her, ease her mind? i'm hoping this will become clear in further chapters

now you have really confused. I can only hope that talon win the war and gets the girl. Despite my complaint it is an excellent story

I look forward to more.

Bring on Chptr 7 anytime from now.

Excellent work and looking forward to finding out why Talon away.

Just found this story today. Great character

development and the plot complexity has

me addicted. Its always fun to read a story

where you can't figure out alliances early on.

will just not get the whole story - this is the reason for series - a series does not mean instant gratification. It means that both we and the author are invested in future chapters to see how things play out. I, for one, do not want stories that answer all questions in the first chapter or two. I want to be challenged to think about what might happen and then have the author take me into left field that I never even thought of. If you want vanilla stories go to the other genres here on Lit that are all about meet someone, fuck them, orgasm - the end. Not what this chick is looking for .... just saying - lmao

I need more! Immediately!!! I just read the story so far and LOVE it. I do sometimes have some moments of confusion with the tenses switching around but its not enough to deter me from the wonderful story. Fix Talon and Tempest!!!!...or at least post more so we'll know how its all relevant lol. Great work!

You are such a good writer!!! I love your story and can not wait for more!!!

"My story is going to play out the way *I* want it." Then why ask for comments if you can't handle a little criticism??? Only to have your ego stroked? Your comment is arrogant and reflective of how you feel about your readers.

The fact that readers want things for the character o plot often means they're becoming emotionally invested in the story. You should take it as the compliment it is.

If I'm honest, I love the arrival of Thatcher. He adds an unexpected dimension to an already brilliant and original story. So all I can say is screw all of the haters, like you said, it's your story. I would have liked for Tempest to be a bit more resisting of Thatcher's charms, after all, I was just beginning to like Talon's character, but hey, it makes for an interesting twist. Keep it up!

mochadesire

Ah... When I first started reading this, I really like Talon and Tempest together.... But now as the story progresses, I find myself liking Thatcher a hell of a lot more than Talon... I don't know who I like better! Seriously good job on this! I'm off to go read the next chapter! :D

you're a rare jewel in stack of rhinestones!

Look, sweetheart, this is her story. She didn't need to write it. She has schoolwork to tend to.

I, for one, think that she is brilliant. She keeps her reader's interested.

There is a fine line between criticism and respect. The comment that she was referring to was selfish. Criticism is suppose to help the author and the story. The reader didn't approve of the Thatcher + Tempest, so she/he asked for a rewrite.

Which was so rude, I couldn't help but get irritated as well.

LillithArchivist could have just ditched the story, because she does have a life outside of literotica, but she didn't.

I just think that you should be grateful.

Some parts of the story sound awfully similar to excerpts from Hush, Hush. Patch? Thatch? Hmmm. I love the story, it's creative and interesting and well written. Just be careful; there are many shades of plagiarism.