All Comments on 'Yo-Yo Chronicles Redux Ch 01.5-02.5'

Thanks for your flattery. You really stayed within the spirit of the stories.

THANK YOU!

That was somehow ... cleansing.

Now THAT is BTB! You, sir, just put on a fuckin' Clinic! While I was debating with myself and my wife on how to fix these, you went ahead and did it. Outfuckin'standing! If there was a way to rate this 50 Stars, I would in a fuckin' heartbeat! But since I can't, you'll have to settle for...

5 HUMONGOUS Stars!

Can't anyone write a good story anymore? Now the anti-cuck forces are exasperating the problem by writing crap like this, a BTB so far over the top it makes no more sense than the cuckold nonsense.

Hey, how about this: I got a small knife, and with the cops watching, I slowling stipped the skin from the two bitches until they died screaming in pain. The cops knew I was justified so they didn't prefer charges. We all sat around with the two bloody bodies at our feet while we sipped some beers.

for thinking Ed's stories were well written.

As for your endings... meh.

Too extreme for me. Sorry.

I honestly like how the endings for the stories that caused such a negative reaction. Thank you very much for sharing.

Original writer failed to incude an ending !! That is very disappointing.

At least you finished the damn story.

Thanks

AMerryMan

Well Mr. Cpete, Today I received a great honor! I stay Anon here on Lit for my own reasons. I know that many authors resent unfounded critical comments made by people who comment anonymously. These sting especially when no effort is made to be constructive or to express appreciation for those who write so the rest of us can read. When I comment, I try to be constructive when appropriate. I try to give up words that may make both the author and other commenters think (at least a little). And I certainly render praise, when earned, and chastise if needed, but in a way that lets the author know in at least one way the story COULD have been better. So, imagine my great pleasure (this is vey sincere, I assure you), when you used my comments on the original author's story to make this ending you wrote for it better. Thanks for agreeing with me, and using what I said, almost word for word. (in part 1.5 when he rails at Jory for not giving him a choice, and not communicating, and characterizing HER overreaction to viewing the porn) Ok, you paraphrased it a smidge to make it fit your purposes, but I recognized my comment immediately, and my smile was a mile wide! Cpete, I have always admired your work, AND your thoughtful comments, and this connection we now have because of this little ending of what would have been a train wreck of a story, has only elevated you in my esteem. But even before today, I had already ranked you in the top 5, of my favorite authors here. Thanks for giving me the highlight of my day! I'm staying anon, but my name is Jason.

So it takes a bit of 'over the top' to get rid of the nasty taste of "cuck nonsense", bring it on! Still chuckling over the 'toilet scene', love a bit of nasty revenge.

especially when you have proven you are talented enough to write your own well written, original stories.

You may have guessed, correctly, that I do not approve of re-writing another writers work. The problem I have is that edrider73's story still remains and he still believes what he wrote is correct.

I didn't read this and won't vote.

Thank you for redeeming male pride!!

FTDS move over Cpete is in town. Excellent and logical conclusions to the originals. Turning one stars into five stars. Well done.

Enjoyed your addition to both stories. Thanks for sharing.

The originals left much to be desired. Thank you for writing an ending. Now there is one more to go. Thank the mod's for moving it out of LW. Race for the Cure needs an ending. Just before hubby breaks her neck, he asks "Who do you want to raise our kids?".

5 huge stars for this continuation!!!

and came off like some seriously psychotic raging that you normally see in the worst noncon stories.

Your followup to the first was okay, but your second was even worse than the original. What the hell - he murders an entire club full of people, at least half of which are innocent like himself, then goes on to subject his wife to permanent enslavement and rape? Really? Original story was sick, the followup even sicker.

A perfect ending to that crappy yo yo story.

I wish more writers of your caliber, FTDS, FD45, and Iron Dragon's will take up the banner, and end the wimp cuckold endings foisted on us by these losers who post garbage. Mikoli and Jezzaz can learn a lot from you all.

A special thanks to all who write the proper ending instead of trash.

Great job cpete!!!!!!

FIX SOME MORE!!!! :D

My apologies Cantbuymy,I forgot to include you in my comment. You did a masterful job on that deyaken crap "She Chose Us" Loved your story. Thanks!!!

CBM, you are 100% correct deyaken stole FrancisMacomber's story, and turned the husband into a simpering wimp.

The stories are to similar to be anything but theft.

Thanks for calling the prick out.

... that's what I call a much better ending for both stories.

Because I recall a story about a Fool who was treated like crap by his wife.

But he got rich...and he had a gorgeous wife...and he died.

It was just like that story about the man with a scheming bitch of a wife won the lottery. And she regretted it to her dying day.

Or that story where the man invented a widget after his divorce...and he was rich as hell.

Or that OTHER story where a man was able to trick his wife into signing over all of her money and she was humiliated by a book. Nope, NOTHING like your story at all.

Or that story where the whole town LOVED this one man and hated his bitch wife. Nope...nothing like yours.

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

NOBODY on this site has an original story. They have ALL been done before. The art is in the twists, the quality of writing, the ability to create and hold tension and how to emotionally engage the reader.

So think twice before you go down that road again.

I have not read the original, so I do not know the Congo's whorehouse is what fit the crime.......I wrote I give 5***** to almost every Revenge story here until the LW hub will be divided into two hubs. After this I will think of differentia among stories.......So 5*****

Got to agree with an earlier anon, the originals I found sickening and didn't bother to finish or rate. The first one of these was okay but the second advocating mass murder? That takes BTB to a level of insanity that I can't handle. 2*

@CBM

After your continuing rant I read the FM story that you claim Deyaken stole. I'm sorry but in my opinion they are about as the same as a man and a woman. They both have two arms, two legs, two eyes excetera but scratch the surface and they couldn't be more different. FM's stories villain committed incest for god's sake!

Deyaken's stories characters had different names, different setting, different attitudes. Children are different ages and above all the wife stops her affair and becomes a faithful wife again.

The biggest difference between Deyaken using a similar idea to FM, cpete writing a different ending to the yo yo's and your take on Deyakens's story is the critical rant you had at the start. cpete actually praised the writing if not the content before starting on his version.

Get over it! The difference is that you stated your story and characters were from another writer. Taken without his permission. NOT LIKE. NOT SIMILAR.

Taken without permission.

Grow a pair and move on. Lit did the right thing in taking your story off the site and your continued whining about it does little to bolster your argument. All it does is make you look immature. You're a capable writer but you need to learn ethics and show the maturity to learn from mistakes and move on.

The extreme misandry in the originals were most likely to be met with extreme vengeance. It's appropriate, as rape and humiliation of a woman should be met with the same. I would've liked to see a more subtle treatment of the first story--something that addressed the porn issue in addition to the rape, but that'll do, pig.

won't comment on the second, because I couldn't bring myself to finish the original once I saw where it was going . . .

@CBM

I have to agree with the others here. Give it a rest, man. DeYaKen was wrong to do what he did, but get over it and move on. Life is too damn short to hold grudges, and whoever said life should be fair was probably taken out in front of a firing squad and shot. Shit happens, brother.

Can someone please give me the non abbrevated name of that site???

SOL=Storiesonline dot net.

But I was happy that Cpete at least put a finish to the Yo-Yo crap. I, for one, did not feel that the Yo-Yo stories were well written. I found the characters to be badly developed, therefore their actions made no sense. And the dialogue was uneven and stilted. I'm not sure what to say about the argument ongoing about who's work is original, borrowed, stolen, etc. But it did seem that Yo-Yo part 2 was very similar to a story posted by Cpete, who then wrote this sequel. There aren't many original themes on this site, as most storylines have been pursued. Some stories are simply better written. Period. Let the arguing and posting continue!

For me I think the real issues that needed to be addressed were consent and humiliation suffered by the husband.

Putting the wife and her friend into sexual servitude in a whole house for the rest of their natural lives was going over the line of tick for tact and revenge. Not total nuclear war on his wife.

Perhaps some humiliating sex act and posting the video on line, and off course including her friend Velma.

and annoyance I would have felt, when I stopped reading edrider's 'contributions'.

You have redressed the imbalance before my sensibilities suffered from the original stories.

For that, you get five stars from me, but only because there isn't a sixth.

I don't normally read the type of stories which this was based. I read them because of your sequel. Of course you corrected what needed correcting as I know you would. My respect for your writing skills is one the of reasons I keep reading Keep up the good work.

You took the flash route to finishing it. Certainly a better ending, but not entirely consistent. He hated it, but then starts making videos with other women.

Very good. This was priceless. The only way to improve would be to read about these two suffering on the ship as they get raped. I can't even believe I am saying that. That goes to show how disgusting the original was.

On 1.5 I did enjoy the ending for the offending party and payoff for the husband, but I will never condone the savage beating of a woman. Even a man-hating shrew of a woman, although if another woman did it then... maybe.

As for part 2.5 I had to read the original to comprehend the need for THAT level of vengeance, but once I did I can totally understand it. Once again I will not condone the abuse or mistreatment of women, let alone mass murder but those who were in the club DESERVED a dark scorching pay back for their activities. They were serial rapist's pure and simple. They were never going to stop and no one would be willing to come forward to report them to the police, so it was necessary. The wives punishment might make them wish they had been in the club that night but I can't really say I feel bad for them. No wife should enjoy or participate in her husbands rape and continuing humiliation, let alone use footage of it to become horny again and again, she deserves what she has coming and so does her friend.

Anyway I'll rate this story as a 4/5. Part two was well done in my opinion, but part one just felt a little lacking.

Love the comments where people piously proclaim how they wouldn't tolerate the hitting or abusing of women. I don't think some of the readers understand words like "betrayal" and "payback". And what about equal rights? His life was nearly destroyed, he was raped, and if the videos go public, he becomes a social pariah (except maybe in San Francisco.) I believe those who dish it out should take it in return, so one woman eating shit and two others getting the fucking they so obviously need pales in comparison to what others might do. The author grew a pair and wrote accordingly, I suggest some of the commenters need to grow a pair as well.

Male or female makes no difference. If people hurt you, hurt them back worse.

Payback at its best. And I can see that you are truly an equal opportunities type of guy. in other words male of female do the crime expect the time. 5 stars

I appreciate not having to leave your story, go to search, enter the name of the other author or story title, the open an new tab to read the original version to which your story is an alternative ending. I wish others who finish or rewrite stories would do the same.

Oh, and I liked your alternative ending too.

Your sense of justice is impeccable.

Dittos on the hyperlink. This or a textof the link itself should be mandatory for

Great tale. Thanks for writing and sharing.

I read the first chapter of the "Yo yo" the other guy wrote and was sickened; not disgusted but sickened to the soul. There were supposed to be two people who loved each other, Jory and Stu, but Jory turned what I thought was a happy marriage into a travesty. Worse I thought Stu was totally complicit in the first phase; his wife's defilement. Then the 'big guy' the actor showed up and I knew this marriage was over.

Now I picked up cpete's sequel right after that first part, and honestly cpete made even less sense. OK Stu got past Myra, but pulling out the gun, then calling the police, and then having the whole thing go to court was absurd. Once Stu got rid of Myra he could have sent the 'big guy' on his way, then packed a bag and left. Poor Jory needed help, but Stu wasn't the one to provide it.

And about the original Yoyo writer; sorry I never read any of the subsequent chapters, and certainly never will.

Sorry cpete; you must have had your head in your ass when you wrote this. I mean gosh; you took somebody else's complete blather and wrote a sequel? What next a story about vampires, zombies, werewolves, and hobgoblins?

"I mean gosh"? Please learn to say FUCK, or SHIT, or CUNTMUPPET, or Dead Foetus Fucker, or Sweet Baby Jesus Fucked With A Baseball Bat, or any of the other fine and wonderful swear words out there. They just roll of the tongue with ease. It's hard to take someone seriously when the only thing they can think to say when angry is 'Gosh' or 'Fiddle sticks'.

Do people on a porn site really fear using naughty or vulgar words?

Most of those words are only considered vulgar because they are Anglo-Saxon in origin, and after the Norman invasion the "King's English" was French.

It wouldn't do to adopt the conquered people's language, so theirs was declared low and vulgar.

First story -

"If you had told me EVERYTHING that was involved up front, do you think I would have cooperated or agreed at the beginning?" – If she was SO sure he was into this shit, why did she refuse to tell him what she had planned?

payback and revenge has to be personal. TK U MLJ LV NV

Loved the Extreme Punishment dealt to the Assholes. Would I take ton's of Live's . Hell Yes if they did to Me what they did to Him. And her sitting and watching Day after Day to video of me being Tortured and Humiliated. She would be lucky to live for a Whorehouse.

I like your stoeries easy but always slick to the core!!!

Took some of the bad taste out of my mouth from the original story

Oh, I can totally see the gassing; not a problem. It’s the whole ship to SA and seaman papers and the like. That’s the stretch for me. How many men in the US are able seamen (with or w/o papers)? Probably less than 0.01%. More likely to find someone to make phosgene gas than can be shipboard qualified. Just speculating out of my ass now, but I’m probably right.

Still, 4-stars

Couldn't read the origionala, but for through this just fine . Off to a Liberian whorehouse. That can't be fun.

Gas that is painful and slow working OK

This took edrider's beta male cuck fantasy and destroyed it. Thank you for turning that vomit-inducing shit pile into something palatable.

White slavery is just the right Karma for the bitches!!!

...but in this case, I held onto my gorge long enough to plow through. It was worth it. I'm not normally BTB, but Ellie, Jory, Velma, Myra, Jilly, Joanne, etc. all had it coming. At least you didn't hurt any innocent folk, just rapists and other pigs.

This is the perfect end for those shit stories by Edrider73.

Well done.

Cpete certainly knows how to turn a lemon.of a story into some BTB lemonade. Great use of the dreaded Congolese whore house.

U can't polish a piece of shit into a diamond

Well it beat selling them to the Mexican Whorehouse anyway. R.H.

I had forgotten that I had read this. Wish I still didn’t remember.

Fuck. Why did I waste my time? Just awful.