All Comments on 'My Girlfriend's Rival Ch. 02'

This story just heated up dramatically! Wow.. I liked the first chapter but this chapter had me speechless the whole time, fantastic job on writing this. So does he get to stay and watch? She's definately not in the position to kick him out now, is she? Please continue.....

plz plz add another chapter! i thought the 1st chapter was sooooo good, but this one is even better!

Such a deceitful bitch, our Monica.

Your have wonderfully aroused us!

I liked where it's going, but I didn't really care for the change in POV, although I can understand why you did it. Maybe the next one will be back to his POV?

en extase you are by far and a way my favourite author on this site. Keep it coming! Just chuck in your day job and write more, ok? Is that too much to ask?

i need more....

You had me riding on my seat, I spent the whole time imagining I was Jennifer. Gee, Monica is such a naughty minx!

My goodness, you had me wet the ENTIRE time. I've been fantasising lately about being with a woman, and this story just described it so perfectly.

***HOT*** So hot... I'm so wet and hot right now... I think I'm going to go and wake up my bf and have some ***Sudders with anticipation*** fun...

-- Wet-N-Wild

that was amazing i want more more more! i was so wet.... and wow i wish i had a monica in my life... i've always had girl fantasies like this!

<3 sarah

That story was great I hope and pray for a part 3

A wonderful second offering! I greatly enjoyed the shift in perspective with the girlfriends POV; she provokes more interest than that "meatsuit" of a boyfriend character. I say, ditch the zero of a boyfriend and continue with "the ladies." The first chapter was well written, but the second explores a much more interesting interplay between characters and the turn-about of the situation.

To recap: It's Taco over Sausage! (Pardon my crudeness)

Please, please, please continue this story - fantastic. I keep coming back, hoping you'd already written more...

with a constructive comment or two. You are mostly writing and thinking like a male (your sex is still a mystery) instead of taking a neutral writing stance. Very few young women with such an obvious jealous streak would change their stripes in mid-stream like Jennifer does. She goes from major jealous bitch to humping the enemy in just a few days. Totally believable in a guy's mind but not from a female's. And why would the boyfriend (does he have a name?) put up with her constant bitching particularly before there was anything to bitch about? The only really damning error I see so far is the boyfriend's sex with Jennifer after fucking Monica at the party. Jennifer picked up on the perfume (bad mistake) but the pussy-flavored aroma of a freshly fucked dick can be smelled a mile away by 99% of the females in the world, jealous or not. As soon as the jeans came down, she would not have had to go down on him to catch a whiff of his guilt. But you are GOOD, damn good!

Fantastic build up, what a tease of a story, and the Monica character is very, very well built and arousing as hell!

Hot, hot HOT!! What a great way to get the juices going before starting my day. I live the girl on girl fantasy with my girl everyday, but this story was hot enough to add to our "playtime" reading list.

wonderfully hot (and with a plot too!)

you had me coming along with the lucky Sarah

I gotta read what happens next! FUCK!!!

WOW! That was an amazing story... Now I just wish I had someone around to take care of me!

This was amazing and so hot. The character development is great and you just know how to get things moving. I'll be wishing for a part 3!!! Don't leave us hanging!

fuck man...mind blowin' stuff

I dunno how to translate that. I doesn't really mean 'old swede'...

But take it as a compliment.

In earnest:

I am reading since I was about seven yeras of age. But I don't get caught into written words very often. I'm a distant reader (hope this makes sense in english).

Only a few authors catch my whole attention the way you manage do do.

And of all authors of erotic literature only one has managed to do it before.

Funny enough that she also publishes here (german section; she goes by the name MagnoliaS, for whom it may interest).

Is there any chance to actually buy some of your writing hardcopy form?

I would totally pay for that!

Consider me a fan from now on.

Found the character development interesting and at times a bit confusing, yet still kept my attention. Am curious to see what direction you will take with the continuation. Maybe from Monica's pov???

You need to finish this story, very very good

WHY is this not being finished?! It KILLS ME IT'S KILLING MEEEEE!!!!

YOu really need to write a final part to this! Its great stuff. Hope to see it soon!

Heh, add me to the list of people who think it should be finished.

please pleeeeaseee, you've got to finish this! fuck it's hot..

best story ever!!

You did an excellent job of getting us inside her head. It is the most erotic place in the human being. I can't wait to see what happens next.

I'm pretty sure this isn't your story but whatever,right?

There has to be a part 3!

Among the best that I have read... Really well written and thought out, keep up the good work

Love it, got so aroused reading it. Can't wait for a chapter 3.

extremely well done, can't wait for more

Really got me off. Just gave it to read to my girlfriend. Please write chapter 3

Incredibly intense story and awesomely authentic characters, please continue this! Had to write this, even if hope is slim after 6 years :(.

So good, I'm looking forward to Ch. 3.

love the build up and tease. Is there a 3rd in the the series?

Tassie Devil

I love reading your work.

Both of these chapters are so good. Too bad you haven't written anything for a while, so it seems unlikely that you'll follow up with a third chapter, but one can always hope. :)

Please write another chapter of this story! It has me completely soaked and I will have to go rub my aching clit and get some release before I can sleep....I want to see all three of them wind up in bed together! You are incredibly hot and a talented writer, I love all that you've written. Let me know if you write chapter 3!

~just.stacy

The two chapters are great together but a chapter from Monica from the beginning and continuing after he walks in would be awesome

loved your story!!!!! a continuation would be worth gold!

How could you write this and not finish it?

...How I wished the story ended differently.Like Monica being tied up and the other two ravishing her for a couple of hours like a sort of payback for all the teasing and torture..lol

Extremely well written. I love your pace; you understand the tease perfectly.

Part 1 and 2 of this story are absolutely amazing. Full of hot scenes, teases, and everything just flows perfectly. I'd love to see a third chapter from Monica's perspective with both of them involved. Great job.

that was hot. Please make part 3 and this time in the boyfriends view again? i'd love to see how he'd take those girls .-.

My imagination is on fire after reading this one...The visuals you described sent shockwaves through my brain.

cant wait for chapter 3

Really really dumb and unbelievable.

Characters are really inconsistant. He's an immature asshole, She's a real ballbusting cunt. Monica is the only honest one in the cast. See what she wants and goes and gets it

Great stuff, and definitely teases the imagination. Where is it going to go next? If you ever decide to write again, there is definitely potential here.

The story finishes on "The Lady or the Tiger" type of climax. What are Jennifer and her boyfriend going to do now? We can all imagine, but they've both pretty much put themselves completely in Monica's power, which was the point of the story anyway.

One thing, Monica may indeed be giving pleasure others want on some level, but she always arranges it so she's in control, and she seems to get off on tormenting people who have relationships that might be flawed, just to see if she can make herself the center of their attention. Which means she'd probably play with them a few more hours (days?), getting them to confess their greater attraction to her than each other, then get bored and leave them to crash and burn. They both cheated, so how can they trust each other now?

Very hot, but kind of depressing from a romantic perspective (I know, wrong category).

amazing writing. please keep it up :)

Its a good story line! The next part will be a make or break part! Keep up the good work!

Just a fantastic story! Loved every minute of it. Damn, you left me with a boner from hell.

More please!

I couldn't believe as I was reading Ch 1 & 2 how I was totally wrapped up into this story like a daughter would have her daddy wrapped around her little pinky.I totally love your writing style and stories. I couldn't stop reading until I had finished. Definetly my favorite and look mouthwatering forward to more stories like these.

It's been 9 years since this one was written!!! No more????? oh wow! So hot!!! Perfect pace, perfect story, perfect everything!!!! Really needs a chapter 3 in his view again!!!

Lol, what a crazy freaking story! I'll never understand guys that stay with psychotic chicks! The first time my gf had started going psycho about some girl flirting with me and wouldnt drop it, keep bring it up, I would have dropped her crazy ass! The only thing worse than a girl that is constantly jealous is one that is constantly bitching and arguing, lol.

All the time I could sense this was coming, and when it did you just ended the story. What a rip off. lol But other than that, I loved it.

The real question, who was obsessing about Monica ? I hope he stayed. Chapter one only had one page, so I might of missed some of his thoughts. I like to think after everything that's happend, Monica invites him to take part of there girlfriend back.

love the POV change and really got under the skin of two of the three. POV from Monica and again from him? This should run and run. Fave ever story... Wow.

I've actually have spent the last month or more looking for these 2 stories from over 2 years ago I remember them vividly. now that I've found them I see you still haven't made a 3rd one. You really should this is a great line up for a series of however much of a length you would like to take it. Either way amazing stories.

I think this story needs another chapter about how she started eating Monica out and he joined in and after that secrets that are being kept comes out

Not much of one. They are are still dumber than rocks. And their actions are so implausible that I had to laugh. Poor story telling. And no ending. Equals 1 star score.

Time to let this one go people

They are the reason people give up hope for the human race, how can so many idiots be about without a planet shattering implosion. I actually feel dumber just eyeing their comments.

Please for the love of mankind, disabled the onslaught of stupidity.

Sheer nonsense written by a man for other men. If people were like this in real life, the planet would deserve being smacked by a large asteroid in the middle of the night!

Only 4 because author stopped. Not sure why negative comments by people who took their time to read it. Story is well detailed and characters developed enough to recognize so we care a little. It's a fantasy play I was entertained.

I have lived through and experienced a lot of what is on this website. I can't retell my stories of the past, because unfortunately, like many people commenting, you can't comprehend or relate to events like this story relays.

Great work.

Great job, the build up and tease is fantastic! Please another Chapter !!??

Lovely writing skills...looking forward for third chapter....with expected threesome

Good follow up.

Though this is not normally my favorite genre, this story completely worked for me... multiple times so far, and I still haven't finished it.

Enjoyed how you switched narrators at the perfect time.

Lovely buildup and to leave us hanging at the end was splendid. I hope we get a 3rd chapter though. Great work.

Love to see part 3.

Threesome ending! PLease make this a happy ending unlike your other series which gave me a gut punch ending.

Great story. But here’s a small point of language. You twice used “exacerbate” when you meant “exasperate.”

Personally I am into seduction, and I have never read this good a story of seduction anywhere, before. I wish there was more, but “always leave ’em wanting more!

Only thing I wish is that Monica dominated her a bit more.

This is perhaps the most erotic narrative of a young woman’s sexuality that I have ever read. I’m sure it will haunt my dreams tonight and many nights to come. Well done!

Lmao Never a satisfying ending with this guy smdh

I swear if you don't finish this story i'll hunt you down...you have a gift my friend excellent story phewww is all i can say

Dam left it hanging hope the is more to cum atheist to finnish it.

hell yeah

More Monica Please ! Please ! Please !

I know the writer will not expedite any new chapter, so no one wait or hope (this story published on 2006), anyway it was bad the story had ended like this, perhaps the writer intend to made that open-end for all the possibilities, but it makes me wonder what is Monica's real desire? Is she now a lesbian or wanna a three-some, well the ambiguity about her true feelings from ch.1 is really annoying and weird. In all cases I`m against/hated cheating and cuckold. but I`ve to admitted that the teasing and the writing were very good regardless of the ending of course.

Excellent!!! Loved the ending especially! Bravo

Poor ending

Fuck you. I demand part 3. Omg. What the fuck. So hot. What a tease ending it on that note

5/5

Nato_

Idk who is the bigger tease here, Monica with her near supernatural sex appeal or the author for ending the series with such a cliffhanger!!! As this was written nearly 17 years ago and the latest release was about 13 years ago I don’t think there’s much hope for another installment!

Excellent story, spun-out as each tease slowly leads to even more exciting action.

That's what I call a clit...er cliffhanger! A very well thought out and written chapter. I definitely look forward to reading more of your work I only hope they don't generally end this way, lol. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination (memories?) and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

Shame the author never wrote more lesbian stories. Got a talent for writing sexy female characters, both dominant and submissive with a real insight to temptation and surrender.

It's always weird to me when authors have this amazing lesbian story, and conclude it with the boyfriend showing up before the two women even finish the first time together. So much potential, and then just crushing it for...what, exactly?

So the stupid fvcking smug ass terrible girlfriend doesnt want her boyfriend to cheat but has no problem doing it herself. I hope the dumb b1tch finds out her BOYFRIEND had the skank first

Chapter 3????