by storm_usmc
A couple of the paragraphs were a bit long, however, overall it was a nicely paced story with a great ending.
You really made me feel the story, descriptions brought you right there. You used all your senses, sight, sound, feel, smell, that was a nice touch.
this is a good story and i really enjoyed reading it, you have done well. went to find what else you have but nothing there, so get cracking and write some more ..thank you for the good read,made me hot
I read your other story and decided to check out this one. I like both of your stories very much and it's always fun to have others who share your ideas. I hope you keep writing and post more of your stories.
RecHiker
That was really sweet..and well written. Certainly put some idea in my head
...could, as you said, be better, but I think cringing might be overdoing it a bit. Don't judge your early efforts -- or, to put it another way, your earlier self -- too harshly. While it lacks the sophistication of your more recent work, it isn't bad -- I've read stories that were a lot worse, and I'm sure you have also.
Yes, your writing does improve with time. Everyone who is serious about writing (I can tell you are) will improve. I suggest Stephen King's book "On Writing". Everyone who reads it becomes a better writer, not to mention what a thoroughly entertaining book it is, telling in detail the story of King's step by step attainment of the pinnacle of writing professionalism.