All Comments on 'Who is the Chump?'

in your essay is that the cheater cares. If they cared, they would not do it. A selfish person in this case is so ego-centric that your description would be meaningless to them and the spouse who loves would be just as destroyed and hurt in the end. Yours is an ideal description of the situation where the cheater has an epipany of conscience, but if they are that selfish, the only epiphany they will have is what they lost: monetary support and security while they cheated. They find some sucker somewhere else and bleed their husband in the divorce and maybe even get to hurt him even more as she rubs his nose in her achievement.

An essay on another interesting thought. While the other comment takes the position that it is unlikely that the cheater actually cares or is insightful enough to understand that they are hurting themselves, I suspect that it doesn't matter. It has been my personal observation that people who have cheated me or my family (not particularly in sexual matters, but I suspect the principle still applies) have been 'punished' for it in the long run. Perhaps it is a 'karma' thing, or just that people who do dirt to one person are likely to do it to another, eventually they get their just rewards, without my ever having to personally administer it!

people aren't as nice as you think they are. Our world would be much more different if they were.

Not bad. Unfortunately it assumes conscientiousness, but the world is full of flying fucks who just don't give.

I really enjoyed this. It's easy to look around and see the huge number of relationships that lay in wreckage because of the selfish, uncaring attitude of an untrustworthy partner. Just about all of us have been through it to some degree. For most of us it was a boyfriend/girlfriend situation. For a number of us it was in a marriage, where it was even more devastating.

The great truth that you unerringly homed in on is the fact that the wounded party all too often feels like they have failed. They have been weighed in the balance and come up wanting. The truth is, as you so wisely point out, that the one who betrays is the loser. They are the one who could not carry their end of the bargain. They were not of sufficient strength to keep their heart open and work toward fulfilling the promise they had made. Oh how I wish I had been party to this advice when I was on the recieving end of that betrayal in my first marriage. It might have spared me a great deal of the pain and self doubt that I carried far too long.

Congratulations on a fine piece of writing that will do some poor souls a world of good. I have read a good many of your stories and enjoyed them greatly. You truly have a wonderful talent.

can you say Thank you for being my friend, TK U MLJ LV NV

Brings a lot of memories and a few regrets.

Anonymous must lead a fucked up life to degrade a good piece, i needed this thankyou

Cheaters don't care who they hurt. They are worthless scumbag assholes who only care about their next session with their lover. Here's my theory. The difference between a champ and a chump is honesty. To yourself and to your spouse. If you can live with your vile deeds or if you are aware of your spouses deeds, there is the difference.

Just my opinion

A friend a special friend that can make it sound sane to the hurt?? Not I..

I really do not know how I could think like that, albeit that was a great piece of write art....bill

5

The owner of a cherished possession, let’s say a gold pocket watch transferred from great grandfather to grandfather to father and finally to son, all of whom wore it at every formal occassion such as church, weddings, dances, christenings, first dates, anniversaries, etc. Or perhaps a Tiffany glass vase purchased on a first anniversary trip to New York, that could barely be afforded but was just so beautiful they decided to stretch the budget. A vase used to hold flowers on every anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthday, etc. both items imbued with years of remembance of momentous and happy occassions, of importand milestones of life.

Then imagine a thief in the night stealing either or both items. And sells the items for pennies on the dollar.

The owners still have the memories, which will certainly begin to fade over years of time. But now they also have the loss of the remembrances; as the memories fade so will the happy thoughts that went along fade too.

But worst of all In the loss will be remembering the feeling of invasion. The loss of security of the home. Somebody uninvited, with bad intent snuck in, touched your most private things. Perhaps looked in on your son or daughter’s rooms. Fingers ran over your pillow. Hands pawed through your spouse’s “unmentionables” looking for hidden treasure (double entendré here). The one “safe” space you created in your life that was YOURS.

The thief, on the other hand, may get $30-$40 if they’re lucky. Buy a couple of cases of the good beer. Or a tank of gasoline, readying for the next heist.

So who looses here? The owners HAD good things occur with the items. But also, now, bad. And the remembrances of the bad (admittedly along with the good).

The thief? What the fuck do they care. Tomorrow’s another day, another dollar.

Dang it, Sirsamega. Don't you know that the underpinning of any good Loving Wives story is the moral outrage that we readers get to experience along with the poor, innocent husband. Even greater is the sheer joy we experience when outrageous revenge is visited on the cheaters. And now, you would have us consider that the trusting husband has actually had a life filled with love, faith and trust? BAH! we might as well become Buddhists and have compassion on everyone involved. Are you trying to undermine my self-righteous anger? Hell; I might as well start reading stories in the Romance section.

The last sentence justified everything else that was stated.

Bill S.

In this world, we have to face the fact that sometimes, evil prospers. We want good to win out, but it doesn't always. Human beings have the incredible ability to rationalize just about anything. It's an inherent weakness of our species. This rationalization allows human beings to justify debased and horrible behavior. We convince ourselves that our actions are right, just, moral, and even necessary. Even when they're clearly not by any measurable standard. But evil does have a shelf life. Eventually, call it karma or fate, or an equalization of nature... What comes around usually goes around.