All Comments  for

Carry That Weight

byHarddaysknight©
All
Comments (214)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous03/16/13

Sorry but you wrote 2 different characters for Tom. The guy who saved his neice is an entirely different person from the one in the hospital. Boy he really showed Jeff too didn't he. Hoping a person who just plyed you with alcohol so he could fuck your wife in the same house as you has enough conscience to feel ashamed about it is like asking the Taliban to feel ashamed about killing americans. Not very likely so that part fell way short of intended target. A guy who is tough enough to go through all that he did while saving his neices is not the kind of guy who would just say please be discreet while fucking my wife in the future so you don't humiliate me and my standing with the family. Those 2 characteristics don't make sense in the same person. A guy like that would definitely not wimp out in the way you just had this guy do. Come to think of it though, maybe the hero action is the part that is out of character for him because he was acting real wimpy when he had the gun too. Hmmmmmmmmm!?!? Seems to be a huge contradiction here!?!?

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by sugna04/26/13

Flaw

There is a flaw in your characters revenge plan: They don't give a shit! If they were decent people they wouldn't intentionally gotten him drunk, and went of to fuck! They are selfish, low class shit. What he should have done is to be honest, let the whole family know what happened, refuse the honor of having the assholes son named after him - who'd want their name on a cheaters kid? Let all the nurses know what happened and ask them to keep those people away from you so you can heal up and get out of the hospital. Then call your lawyer and get a divorce. Move on. There is nothing worse than living a lie in a sham marriage. Fuck it.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by cantbuymy04/26/13

giving a shit about doing something is different than giving a shit about others knowing and more than the fuck buddies and the hero know, so it will get out.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by firas0104/30/13

There is an eternal question

when cheating like this takes place, a best friend and a loving wife who didn't show any signs that she is dissatisfied with the marriage, when they cheat and it was clear that they did plan for it, thought about it, and try to make it happen, they were not both drunk and found themselves in bed by accident, she did not fuck the other guy and after the rush cooled came back running to her husband bed, SO, the question is, was this their first time, and if they are planning a first, is it logical to have it in the family house where they could be discovered, no, but if it was a full blown affair then probably they got careless because they have done before and were not caught. The eternal question is, does he know his wife and best friend enough to assume that they will feel guilty and by this he is punishing them, does the question that people change ever entered his mind and did he wonder that the man he knew all his life and the woman he fell in love have changed and he did not realize it or notice it, his wife planned on fucking another man under his nose, isn't that a clue enough that this a selfish woman who doesn't care about her husband, and her reaction after she was found out was simply as it is, being found and by a member of her family and not because that she faced the horrible truth that she has cheated on her husband, . I know that authors try to find new plot all the time and new angles the life long story of adultery, all i am trying to do here is discussing the idea of punishment by guilt,, the writing is the best as usual, thanks for sharing.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous05/05/13

Did she or didn't she? Did they stay together or not? We will never know, because like so many LW writers this one does not have the balls to finish it. Rather let us use our imagination.
If he finishes it where they stay together, then his scores will suffer. If they divorce his score will go up.

Just finish what you started, coz what you have is good. So damn tired of these open endings

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by cantbuymy05/05/13

the story is finished. too many people know they were fucking and that hubby saved the studs lchildren and wife and did it with a blade in his chest, chasing the bad guy down. everyone will know it was not a secret. come on, dickens wrote the last line of a tale of two cities with something like, It is a far far better place i go than i have ever been before; it is a far far better thing i do than i have ever done before, or something like that.

was it bad because he did not write how he walked up the steps, how bad he felt, the hands on his body forcing him to kneel, placing his head in the device. his view of the bucket where other severed heads had faled before. the look of fresh blood and the smell of death in the straw that failed to soak up the blood so that it ran like water in the place de la concorde. is dickens a wimp author becasue he did not describe the act and terror of the beheading or was his last statements enough?

HDK finished it, you have to look at the beheading yourself without the description being written for you. the marriage is over, what is left is not a marriage. duh.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Mustang88LX05/24/13

Still a weak ending

Sorry Cantbuymy, you went a little deep. HDK just didn't finish it. It looks a little weak. Could have used a epilogue or something. She is now free to fuck anyone. And will he be real and not have sex with her again or will he be a wimp and let his cheating bitch wife shit all over him?

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Mustang88LX05/24/13

Applause for sugna and firas01

You both have great views on this. But someone else does not seem to like it. they are so far up HDK's butt it is pathetic.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous06/20/13

Just fuck my wife/yr whore

The author is a cuck and cock succer.
beside the above, he writes well, so ask Lit to have Cuck section and post yr crap there

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous07/01/13

Please add a sequel

Please add a sequel. It's been three years. Let Tom come to some closure. Let him bang Amy and Amber and reconcile with Ashley. Or not. It is time for Jeff to pay.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by cantbuymy07/01/13

the ending is perfect the way it is. everyonbe will know she is a whore and he is a hero.
she fucked him and then slept in his arms, that is not a first time thing.
if you do write a follow up, and i hope you dont, have a DNA that makes the kids be someone elses.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous07/01/13

To Anymous 6/20

you can neither spell nor use proper English, yet you berate (is that word to big for you?) one of the best authors on Literotica. And no, not all his stories are reconciliation, and this is not a reconciliation story. I suppose the concept of mental revenge is just too complicated for you. BTW - proper etiquette (sorry, another big word) in comments is to criticize the story, not the author.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous07/08/13

really excellent revenge

Tom is obviously capable of violence, but the mind-fuck he lays on the two cheaters is truly first rate.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous07/29/13

I Hate Open Endings...

...and this was!!!

My epilogue, she finally gets totally annoyed, angry, hurt, cold and kurt with him because of his aloofness and unwillingness to talk about the past.

In the event the children are his and as much as he had once totally loved her, adored her and felt complete with her, he would torment her until she ran off pulling her hair out (figuratively) to her parents, a girlfriend or even someone she had worked with and then, he got total custody of the children and she would get visitation and possibly even chaperoned visitation.

You write well but this guy is too deep, too emotional, too romantic and too caring to ever be able to not constantly relive the experience of that evening and night...it's too bad but they won't make it and that is sad because he really is a good husband and a real, honest man.

Epilogue here, even after all this time, would be appreciated by many, many of us!!!!!!!!!

Thanks!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by FD4507/29/13

Read again

And I have to say, every time I've read this story, I am more and more horrified by it.

This is not a critique of the writing (there were a few sins in that regard). Nor is it a ding against the realism, or the quality of the mind fuck.

However...as a writer, I take a look at the plot threads and I cast them in the wind to see where they will go...and every time I do, I see agony, pain and loss, huge quantities for everyone involved.

Maybe it is because I am a drama king. Maybe because I favor dark stories. But this man, in his short sighted way of wanting to get 'mental pay back' is sowing the wind.

He will reap the whirlwind. Which is too bad because I generally like him.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous08/13/13

NOTHER

hdk crapola, like jpb

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by amyyum08/24/13

Original, entertaining, and more

The word "awesome" is overused, but is the only one I can think of to adequately describe this story; 5++++

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous09/08/13

Greay work :)

Jeff and Ashley are mind fucked for life

have to love that kind of revenge

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous09/20/13

Fuck! another little jnr wimp on the way. Connor's lepers.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous09/27/13

WIMPY

burger. -0*

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous09/30/13

1 stupid mother fuck wimp ass

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous10/31/13

nother

wimp hdk wimpy tale, maybe an autobiography

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by EgoTrixi11/01/13

Would have liked an other ending...

...they got off too easy for my taste. Nevertheless: Well written, even though you seemed to rush at the end.Do not let the "Anonymous´s" impress you: They are too wimpy themselves to sign with their names, a habbit they share with many "micro-cocked" (let us call them) "men".

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Bfreetorun12/01/13

Well, Jeff saved his life once so he owes him. His bitch slut wife (she planned this)

deserves all the mistrust she gets. I hope she suffers. If this was real life instead of a story this marriage would not last.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by 2ndThoughts12/01/13

His Decision

Having laid guilt trips, doubt about their future fidelity, their character and the suggestion they keep on fucking...three things are going to happen...

1) His image of what he saw and knew would continue to manifest and grow bigger and more difficult for him to deal with!

2) She would get rattled, hurt, horny and in need of release to the point that she convinced herself that he really wanted her to cheat and to leave him alone.

2) She would feel helpless and unloved to the point that she finally decided 'What the Hell', she was a cheater and he didn't believe she was or could be faithful so...next opportunity with anyone interesting - "SHE Will Get Laid! After all, we know she didn't have any moral scruples and only needs a little flirtation or excuse to consider a little play time SO>>>>>>>

If you had written a follow-up to this fantasy story, I'm wagering that I'm on the right track. This guy is an old fashioned romantic and was totally and emotionally in love with her. What he saw, what he realized, he could never again believe her, trust her or eventually even touch her.

A follow-up would be interesting but then - we run the risk of you patching things up so - Good Ending!!!

Thanks!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous12/05/13

Nice ending..

But I would keep her around just so that I could spend money, none of it on her. Separate bedrooms, never touch her, certainly never fuck her. And if she complained about the lack of sex, I'd just tell her I imagine she was getting all she needed elsewhere. Plus, with an infected cunt like hers, for me to use two or three condoms at the same time wouldn't let me get the job done.


Gentlemen, there many ways to skin a cat and sometimes not divorcing and writing them off is the best form of revenge. Keep her around to keep the house clean, cook some meals and some conversation. Past that? Not much else...

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Storm11312/13/13

Finish This please

I know it's pretty much complete, but I would really like to know what hppens next. Gave it a 4 instead of a 5 for that reason. Still enjoyed it though.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by SyrustheVirus12/19/13

Why don't you ever finish your stories? Right when they start to get interesting you stop writing..... that is cheap!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by rightbank01/24/14

the hero cousin and loving planned to cheat

the wife planned to cheat.
The cheating cousin planned to cheat.
the trusting friend/husband was set up with extra booze and disregarded.
the unsuspecting wife and daughter were deliberately scheduled to arrive the day after the rendezvous, by design.
By accident the unsuspecting cuckold saved the lives of the cheating husband's family.
Do the two cheaters deserve to get off without consequences?
Hell No!
And, the whole family knows it! Get Real!!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/19/14

Good story - bad ending

Yeah, he laid a head trip on Jeff. But he never got any real revenge on either of the cheaters and he admits that he was never going to trust Ashley again. Who wants to live life like that? Better to get a divorce.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Tw0Cr0ws02/21/14

debts

If Tom owes Jeff for saving his life, then what does Jeff owe Tom for saving his wife and children ?

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/27/14

What the heck happened?

Started off OK,then turned to shit. So....all he gets out of this hospital stay is a cheating wife and friend,neither of which he can trust. Even though he was really trying to guilt them by his hospital bed(by giving his tacit approval),he's given his permission to cheat together.If he was to deny Ashley intimacy for any length of time,that permission to stray could be used against him,whether he really meant that approval or not.In reality he's given her Card Blanche to have affairs not just with Jeff,but anyone. Re:"Show me a small amount of respect and I won't interfere with you fucking other men." Bad,bad,move. He better be able to get it up for her,or that statement is going to come back to bite him in the ass.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous03/17/14

I think that he should have dropped the bomb on them in the hospital

The hospital would have been the perfect place to exact a fitting revenge rather than the lame ended this story had. Just imagine the two cheaters exposed in the hero's hospital room after he saved the pricks wife and daughter. There is no way in hell that I would ever take that cheating bitch back. He did not owe his friend the use of his wife that's for sure. I have saved several peoples lives over the years but I have never felt they owed me anything. I drive allot for my job and I have come across a number of motor vehicle accidents. I was there at the right time and place and able to use my safety training to help out.
Lonewolf2013

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous03/18/14

That is fantastic revenge

Both of them know how little they are trusted, how small they are in his eyes. While I'm a big BTB fan, this may be the ultimate. And all it takes for the next 50 years is just a dig here and there to let them both know that you assume they are still low life bottom feeding cheaters, but that you are willing to put up with their cheating.

Nice 'un!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous03/25/14

The reality is that she is a cheating woman...

There is no forgiveness for their unforgivable and preplanned scurrilous cheating. And, to do it so in such a physical location as to guarantee being caught. Clearly there is no respect for him. Tom should quietly divorce her (with all the family knowing the "why") and making her an outcast. He is the hero and she and Jeff are the low life villains.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by IGotYurWife04/20/14

NEVER! ........

Lose your head over a piece of ass. Man up Tom, you pussy.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous04/25/14

Mmmm.

Do you write ANY stories where the guy ACTUALLY stands up to (and punishes) his cheating spouse? Damn. You turned this guy into the biggest pussy as far as his wife's faithfulness is concerned. Really? You think slinking out of the house like a 12yr old was the best way of dealing with infidelity? I understand that he didn't have to shoot them both to teach them a life lesson,but at least wake them up...and kick someone's ass!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous04/25/14

A 2nd Part

It is a good story and it should be further explored

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Master_falcon9005/10/14

To all of the anonymous that crying he was being made into a wimp......

Listen to what the author is trying to say! He is showing us another way how to get revenge without going all caveman on his wife and Jeff. He show he was a man by showing what he did with the kidnappers. And for his thoughts of suicide, thinking your world collapsing and family rip from you is a powerful motivator at the moment to consider suicide, albeit a bad choice.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous05/11/14

hmmmm

This is one of my favorites. So many possible options in this story.

Was this an accident, was it planned, will they divorce or not.

I truly would love to see another chapter.

excellent writing.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by sugna05/12/14

Read it Again

Do they have kids? Didn't see anything about that. He did say he had a vasectomy, why if there were no kids? You see, kids are the only reason to stay with a shitty spouse. I would bet at any given moment 50% of married couples are only staying married for the sake of a stable home life for their kids. I didn't say happy home life, stable is good enough to raise a healthy kid. If they don't have kids, it is time to call the marriage quits. When it comes to cheating on your spouse, it is never an "accident". It certainly may be a mistake, but that is one that the cheater has to live with, not the cheated. So, once again the verdict is: Tell the truth! Let the other offended spouse know what she is married to. She may chose to wait another 18 years, but she has a right to know that her marriage is dead and who killed it. If you are not honest, it is just a matter of time before he does it again. One day she will find out that everyone lied to her with a lie of omission and she will hate you for it. The truth is the truth and it is the only way to sanity and one day, happiness!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Tw0Cr0ws05/12/14

kids

Sixteenth paragraph
What would my two kids, Arlene and Jeffrey, think of me if I shot their mom?

Amber deserves to know what she is married to.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous05/22/14

Need more

This story needs closure.
Really good concept and story line,thank you

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by SplitAces05/28/14

I thought I'd read all of your stories

But somehow I had missed this gem. I'm sure glad I found it! I haven't read through the comments, but I would guess that I'm not alone in wishing it was not so terse. This was a brilliant concept, executed with perfection and is complete as it is; but it raises many questions that beg to be answered. I would love to see you revisit this to flesh it out; or even better, follow it up with part two to uncover all the who, what and whys.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by edwusa06/04/14

Silly Sugna, Silly Tw0Cr0ws

Sugna -- see Tw0Cr0ws quote from the story: "What would my two kids, Arlene and Jeffrey, think of me if I shot their mom?" See? Kids. As far as learning the truth goes, she is still in the process of getting the message. Carry that Weight. Get it? That's fair. You write the ending.
Tw0Cr0ws -- nobody got shot.
One of my favorite stories.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous06/11/14

revenge

the never ending revenge. Jeff`s family loves tom and the two cheaters are torn
with never ending guilt.. to bad tom`s life is going to be crap.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous06/28/14

fuck her

Leave that sorry assed bitch. She was part of the plan. What? Can't part from the money? Fuck her.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous07/22/14

great way

5 stars

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Tim41341307/29/14

Not enough emotion

from any of the three. Ashley cried and dabbed her eyes. Jeff looked nervous. Tom had no emotions. I expected more from HDK.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Irfon07/30/14

WOW!!

What a deadly smack in the head !!

Has to be the best you've written - well done HDK.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to Carry That Weight  or
More submissions by Harddaysknight.

More Comments (214 total): Page:  1  2  3  4  5 

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

You may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel