by CaliGrl83
Can the main character's ego be any bigger? There's sexy confidence and then there's skank. No wonder she's divorced. Not too many errors for the length of the story but keep a closer eye out. Thanks for the entertainment.
"He was huge! His cock was at least an inch in diameter and long enough to do some damage. " If his cock was at least an inch in diameter, it was like getting fucked with a broom stick! The author needs to re-read her own stories before submitting them or go to an adult toy store and measure a few dildos to get an idea of size.
Seriously these 2 statements in your story raised my eybrow!
"He was huge! His cock was at least an inch in diameter and long enough to do some damage. Not like I cared so much about length - I'm a girth girl. I like a thick cock and he was like a birthday gift! "
"My exhusband had introduced me to anal but he didn't like it much. It was too much pressure on his sensitive little cock."
An inch in diameter would be like a hotdog in a package of 10! You know the one's they have on sale for .99 cents
So this being said if she's a girth girl then her ex must have been the size of a sharpie pen!
So this statement sounded funny as hell too!
"I felt like he was ripping me into two!"
God forbid if you had a normal size cock in you, you would feel like you have a basebal bat stuck in you!
Well so much for that, if you are going to write at least keep it real and know what you are saying.
And further more if your going to pick up random dudes off the internet be sure and write down where you are going so the cops can put 2 & 2 together and notify the next of kin to come indentify you in the morgue.
But I am not sure this guy (john) in the story is who you are potraying him to be.
I hope the next story is better! I mean it.
I do hope you take the criticism well.
Thanks for writing!
....hell average must be at least around 1 and a half. But when you have those who are probably virgins submitting "fantasies" to this site this is what you get. Clue number two, she thinks you can find a male lover from a pic on the net that ISN"T a serial killer.
I see this is your first story, and it's a good job for that. I do not read other peoples comments, so I don't know what everybody is saying, but there is a strong bias on Literotica against infidelity stories, so ignore the blowback. Some things I would point out... you introduced the idea of an ex-husband kind of late, that threw me off. Secondly, there are some minor grammatical errors that trip up things along the way. I am as guilty of this as the next writer, just something to point out. Third, you should defo write a sequel. I'm looking forward to it. Keep up the good work.
This was a well-constructed story and extremely well written. Too bad CG did not finish this one and never wrote another Lit story.
Ummmm...it was truly weak. A bit well written in form but the story was weak.