All Comments on 'The Tears of the Stars Pt. 02'

Just read first part yesterday and was so happy to see than second part came out already. If it countinues on like this, it will end up being one of my favourite stories here on Lit. Keep up the good work!

Absolutely love this! Have no idea where you're headed with it, but I suspect it will be an amazing ride.

Really like the storyline and looking forward to the next chapter/parts. PS: Need Relief From Extended Erections Reading Each Part :-)

The story is really good, but i have to jump over all the incestous shit that makes me want to puke!!! And that is really sad, because this is one of the best stories on lit.... Why not make it a little bit more mainstream??????????!!??

You're building a very high tower in this story, it could crumble at slightest error.

This is a definite must read on my list! Keep up the good work! Hope to see more power and knowledge in the upcoming chapters.

You continue to do a fabulous job developing things, and I think you handled the mother quite well. So I retract my suggestion from Pt1.

Your description and world building continue to be great. Watch is on the characterization because Stacy and Dana are

I like the suspense and buildup of how the world will be changed and the conflicting personalities between the "ancient power" and "moral human". I do continue to think there are more sex scenes than plot, and I'd love to either see you scale back a bit or maybe post shorter chapters with a better plot:sex ratio.

Now on to the bad. You still are struggling with pronoun resolution (anaphora). This is exacerbated in any girl-on-girl scenes. "Dana stood just nearby. Stacy smiled and leaned back. She sucked on her nipple." When you really mean. "Dana sucked on Sally's nipple." It's tough to pull off and gets compounded when you slip into 3rd Person Omnipotent or partial omnipotent. My rule is if a paragraph or scene is in one character's POV, then don't use gender pronouns for anyone else of the same gender.

Also, don't forget about Fudge. I think he's a great character. I love the scenes with the church and the archbishop. He's an awesome character.

This is definitely shaping up to be one of the best stories on the site. Just enough kink to make things fun.

The characters are believable and I love how you're handling the religious aspect of things. Top notch stuff.

gr8

One of the best I've read! Good job! Keep it cumin!

this is the second story of yours that i really liked ,

please continue this story line and finish your other story.

Too good of a story to be left hanging. Please hurry and add more to this and your previous story.

Can't wait for more!

Are you ever going to finish this story?

Can not put it down. You have to keep going. Try and go back and work on the sex scenes some, they need some work.

Great story but I'm not entirely sure that I like Dana become an equal to Jackson. I feel like their love would become eschewed because of it. Although that would make some awesome angst c:

When is the next chapter

It's been 6 months. Please post soon.

I've been a long time reader of many genres on this site, and have never commented on a story until now. These two chapters are as well written as any I have seen on here.

Keep up the good work and keep them cumming.

It seems to me the second chapter may be incredibly difficult to followup. Based on your past work and the amazing detail I think you are up for the challenge. I really hope we can see something again from you soon.

Great story and good writing please continue to write the story. Please do not let the story die

Dana's decision is gonna have fucked up repercussions. lord! 'can't wait for he next installment

Nicequip,

Dude, PLEASE continue this story. So Good this one!

PLease continue do not stop

i really hope he finishes it and that he hasn't stopped caring about writing or even worse maybe died and no one knows. but that's the worst out come, hopefully he will continue to post for this incredible story

I'd like to get MORE, please.

Imaginative and powerful. Really like how the story looks at religion in a 'Big Picture" way. Really good stuff, I hope there's more to come.

I truly enjoyed this story from start to finish it really has so many avenues that you could go down now Jackson has so many powers and even the knowledge to build futuristic machines or even star ships like in part 1 of your story. Please write more chapters many many more thank you nicequip.

I love this story and your writing is great. I see that you have not continued this in 2 years though. That is a shame. Turn this into a book. I would buy it.

I would like to see at least one more chapter because there is so much that can happen. Things could change for the better - healing cancer, stopping wars, a Utopian society. Still as written it is a good read. I enjoyed it.

Banjoman88

Going down the favorites list again and your name pops up, its been a couple years. I've read a lot of reasons and extrapolated a few more, life's circumstances, new child, new job, hard classes are all reasonable. Poor health, terrible accident, personal attacks from readers exist. I'm publishing exclusively on Amazon, Wattpad or Smashwords is a reason for your fans to check it out. A couple lines in your biography or in comments could ease a lot of minds.

Awesome story line. Please continue.

I first found you through "Cooper Family Pride Pt. 01“. I like that one and look forward to the next chapters hopefully. Since it has only been published I figured I will have quite a wait for the next so I checked out your other stories. Really glad I did because Tears is a great story and I hope the writers block on part three clears. :-)

Thanks for giving me some great worlds to check out. I look forward to seeing more in them

I first read this one a while back, and just now wormed my way back to it. It was excellent then, and still is now, thank you for sharing it with us!

It seems as you ran out of steam on this story, like the fire burned too hot for too short a time. Last story chapter July 2014, last submission December 2017? Maybe less erotic lust scenes and more of a plot line would take this story into the hall of fame category.

Something else as a general turn-off, why the term "slut" in the dialog? It does not fit into the the superior relationship/power the main character is portrayed to possess. In my opinion, although "whore" is not termed in the submission, it is as big a erotic turn-off.

And oh boy, why do authors hoist the anal flag so often - ugh!. I once heard the Greeks are knowledgeable on this - don't crucify me, I said "heard".

Just something else, not related to the story. The most dreaded disease, barring the big C, is erroneously labelled as HIV/AIDS - not true. The most dreaded should be acknowledged as HPV (Human PapillomaVirus) - a disease which may lay dormant in the human body for up to 20 years, untraceable, and then manifest in terminal cancer spread throughout the body - no symptoms until it is too late.. This disease manifests in the genital, anal, mouth(oral), nose or areas with mucus glands. It may be deducted than the disease originates from homo- or bisectual couplings. So, anal should be a no-no, as well as muff-diving and blow jobs, the latter two being a shame of course.. Google it!

So come on, do a little story line planning and make it less than a wank(or jill) story in the next chapters, if you have the balls to do it.

This started out as an exceptional story, but the story has been overtaken and nearly destroyed by huge amounts of gratuitous sex.

You've spent a lot of time exploring the ethics of Mind Control. What is proper and what isn't. I really like this pair of stories and I wish that there were more.

I would particularly like to see what was in that account. My guess is that the company was sold and the proceeds, all of them, are in that account. They are talking like they now had unlimited funds. I guess that a Billion would be effectively unlimited, but I'm unsure of the projects that he has in mind. Some projects can eat up a billion dollars without even blinking.

Great story. It is a shame it doesn't have more.

To the fans of this story, my sincerest apologies. Admittedly I was conflicted on where to take it. After suffering through a period of writers block I did continue it for a bit but I was unhappy with the direction and quality and got frustrated and set it aside. Currently this is not on my priority list. I would like to bring it to an adequate conclusion some day even though it’s one of those stories that can technically go on forever.

Great, imaginative story--if you don't have a clear path forward I'd say leave as is. Clean end point and it might get huge!

If you find your path to finishing--or even continuing--this story, it could well turn out to be one of the best pieces of literature I've read on this site. It's already drawn me so far in...you have a knack for drawing a picture with your words, and that's vital for any writer worth his salt. Well done, and I hope the inspiration strikes you again.

yes, thank you for a wonderful story. As you said, it can go on forever, but it doesn't need to. As others have said, you've explored the ethics of Jackson's power and have tried to strike a balance. It would be easy to drop into the BWAHAHAHAHAAAA BOW DOWN TO YOUR LORD AND MASTER trope, but you have dragged Jackson back from the edge every time.

Might I suggest something? You've laid out the start of the next chapter, all the expensive elements that are needed for whatever that device is. Now that Jackson has the resources, he can build his device, let him build the device and end the story when he switches it on. Foreshadow the device's purpose, whatever it is, and let the reader build what come's next in their imagination.

If not, then this has been one of the best stories I've read on this site in a very long time. I wish you well in your pursuits.

Why did you stop here???? It's been 6 years so I imagine that you won't continue this story. I really liked it!

yet another unfinished story by a sci fi author... sigh

This is a really interesting story. I don't find it as entertaining as Cooper Family Pride or as overall amazing as The Novelist, but it's such an interesting story that it's still way up there. I hope you're able to extend it some day (all of them, really).

I've re-read your longer stories several times as they're all such well written and interesting stories. Hopefully you got/get to return to writing in some capacity.

I had to stop at page 7, mostly because I wanted him to take the mother and or submerge Dana also, hoyever I may come back to finish it at a later date but since author is not really finishing anything who knows.

Please keep this story going. Even if it’s on smash or paetron. Please. Read two of your stories so far and want more of each ( family pride and tears)

More!

Spectacular!

I know you haven't looked at this story or perhaps others in years. That is a loss for others. You have a gift of telling as well as explaining. You have shared some interesting hypotheses and they need exploring. I can make up my own but I believe you have a better blueprint for where they can or should go. Tears of the Stars could easily be expanded to a movie with or without the intimate scenes. Something for you to consider.

Please keep this going!!!!

It's a shame you gave up on this story, it is amazing in many ways. Very interesting concept.

Too bad the brother/sister are insecure/pathetic characters that need to dominate/use (or need to be used/abused and give up her sense of self/personality in her case). Stacy's love would have made her an incredible person if not for her weakness.

How can you respect someone that wants to be a pet? Or a guy that uses/abuses his little sister in order to get off. No love for the mother either, although I guess that would've happened at some point.

The story started out great, but ended really shitty. I see why it wasn't continued.

I love this story and your writing

You didn’t continue on with this amazing story. There’s soooo much more to this story. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm mad... But in a good way.... I've read TWO of your stories and upset about the non-continuance!!!!! You are a gifted writer and I want more! This one and Cooper Family Pride!!!!! Go DUGANS!!!!!

striker24, you may not understand it, but some people have a really deep seated need to be submissive, even owned. It doesn't make them weak or insecure it's simply an aspect of who they are. If you think it's weak, let me ask you a simple question, how much strength do you think it takes to give yourself completely to another? How much trust does it take.

I'm lucky enough to have had someone offer that to me and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever known, I cannot quite believe my luck and will cherish that as the unbelievable gift it is.

Naturally, deeply submissive people aren't weak, or doormats, they are the perfect balance to the naturally most dominant of us, put the two together and you have balance. Just because it's not your thing doesn't make it wrong or any other bad adjective. Learn about it, read about it and understand that whilst it may not be for you, some people need it nearly as much as they need oxygen. I think Stacy is beautiful and beautifully written and part of that is because I have a beautiful lady, just like her.

Well damn, another great story never finished. Damn it

A good palette cleanser after the silliness of Coopers, and even with the slow burn, more arousing.

Coopers was interesting, but I kept picturing Toby McGuire doing Spider-Man fingerguns whenever he got elaborately dressed, or the Indiana Jones dreams. For a truly bonkers story, look up Saga of Littown.

Thanks.

This is the very best of all the stories I've read here. Captivating right up to the very end. Would love to read a few more episodes. What an imagination!!!