Just give this shit 1* it deserves !
A good story but an out of the blue curve ball of an ending.
In a rustic environment(read country) where I spend my summer days as a kid, I saw one of the most bizarre things in the World, just like that:A stupid brat ingested a bit of rat poison, and they(a mother and his older siblings) tried to make him puke!They made him drink a ton of water and it wasn't working, one sister had a brilliant idea:"You need to give him something disgusting to make him throw up!". His not so bright mother put him on the floor, put her ass out squatted above his face and made him drink her pee.A minute over he was throwing all over the place, but to this day, I am very glad it worked.I fear what she would do if that didn't worked...
This is well written with good emotion and humour. Well done.
Reconciliation is always hard to write about and justify especially when it has been pre-planned as in this case as. It is so much more complicated than BTB. In this story it seemed to be about recapturing youth and some titillation with illicit sex rather than a fundamental disrespect for the husband being the driving force. I'm fine with reconciliation when two people genuinely love each other even though one has betrayed the other as long as there is no deliberate demeaning of the victim by either the cheater or the lover or it has been a long term affair. Here it did last a few months but did not appear to be a very regular occurrence. I did find it strange that she should be putting on sexy underwear and then allowing anal on the very night that she intended finishing with him.
Only one small suggestion. It would have been interesting if they had talked about her affair a little more to try and get to the bottom of why she cheated on him and why she did not understand the damage she was doing to their marriage. The recapturing college thing just seemed a little superficial.
Speaking from experience, Danny knows he didn't eat it and that one of his siblings did. 'Wonder how many other things he got blamed for. Loved it.
Kinda like all is well that ends well. Bev and her sister got what they deserved. He and Joyce lived happily ever after. A good story with a complete ending.
Good Bob, Good!
Not telling the children that the sucker was poisoned was stupid. Even more stupid was expecting children for whom candy was a dream treat to resist eating candy even if told it was poisoned. You can't fix stupid. I would hope that parents, or even pet owners, would have sense enough to actually read the warning label on any kind of poison or other products or plants that they allow in their homes. I know accidents happen, but preventable accidents don't have to happen at all if people take adequate care.
Wow! 5 stars through my tears!
I agree with MajorRewrite; this could easily become a published book/short story. In fact, it's better than lots of them I've read.
The characters are polished and believable, but I would like them to be a little more fleshed out, with more details.
The plot is exceptional, and you've already got me emotionally invested in seeing where it goes next.
I would love it if the search and acquisition of the book was much more in detail, possibly over the course of several stories, but you can't have everything. :-) I'll just be happy if you finish the story!
Thanks for writing it.
to write a coherent story in the style you chose. There were some fairly large potholes in the story (i.e. Adam only had to try during her fertile times & Don could have used a condom etc).
Still, an enjoyable read. Thanks
Even though I would have been disappointed that I wasn't the one to pull the trigger; just knowing I didn't even need to say I told you so would make up for it. Maybe one day they'll learn. (I doubt it) Also, in the spirit of the Second Amendment even a cop takes the law into his own hands when it comes to protecting your own. Just remember; when seconds count, the police are only minutes away.
Yep. Seven years. My bad. Sorry. Won't happen again. I will finish this. A new chapter each fortnight or so from today onward. Wont drag it out infinitely either. Thanks for reading and leave a msg if you can!
like your tales so far. looking for more, in the future. Hope Iron crowebar can get some HONEST officials, for his state also, instead of all crooked ones, that seem to be around everywhere, and dont, know good, from EVIL. I think Mr. Wellman"s wife, is going to be is downfall????,,, hahahahah
You certainly have a way with plots!
I suspected there was a murder, but not the way you explained it.
Most enjoyable. I can't wait for the next installment!
All the best,
Did you read the story? The apology is TO Danny.
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