And there weren't any horsemen despite the stories beginning. It simply wasn't entertaining to read. You didn't write anything compelling and she wasn't an interesting character. At the end I just didn't care what happened.
You got me!
The setup was great...you lined your pins in a row and knocked the all down with the last paragraph.
A sweet short romance. A nice change.
Really Horror story and a frightening one.
Love the stories and am glad you are so happy in yourself.
have to read this magnificent piece again and again.
and wife comes back and later find out wifer has not been pure as the driven snow... secrets will leak out... 4 stars because a lot of us have been here
Real, emotional pain. Powerful words, Jon. Excellent story.
One needs to look for red flags when they date. They were present here. I don't mind the scumbag dying, but this situation should have been avoided.
No reconciliation on this one, please!!! Come on!
where does Allie come from? twist for the sake of a twist.
Wow... Great first chapter!
Developing characters is so important and so often neglected by most writers here. You, however, really do a great job letting us see inside and feel who these people are.
BTW I love a good phrase that gives you and insight into who the character is, and with this one you did a great job: "It's possible that I orchestrated it; I don't remember ... okay, I DO remember, but I'm not telling."
To me it says, 'clever, fun loving girl, witty and knows it (which is cool)'.
I can tell you love your characters just as much as me. Thanks for the first chapter!
title of site NON EROTIC
Totally Blown Away.
Well worth the read. Thank you. Can't believe I've missed this until today.
Login or Sign Up
All contents © Copyright 1998-2012. Literotica is a trademark. No part may be reproduced in any form without explicit written permission.
Terms Of Services|Report A Problem|Privacy
Password:Forgot your password?
Your current user avatar, all sizes:
You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.
Select new user avatar:
Upload and save
User avatar uploaded successfuly and waiting for moderation.