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Couldn’t continue

After two pages of you showing every character to be blithering idiots I had to stop you may be a good writer but your contempt for your characters challenges the readers ability to believe they are even capable of walking on their own..

on

i rated it

I skipped some paragraphs to read it in a single sitting, mostly rambling when wandering in the forest where no dialog was found for great lengths. I'm not sure what I missed. I think technology could have been used to cut things short once the camp was set up, but the technology was used in a previous chapter and never re-emerged. The story would have been a lot shorter though. The close encounters seem like they might make up for it, but it was hard to believe.

This was really about just this guy's flight and was pretty focused on it. I was hoping for more regarding the romantic interest, and aiding and abetting, but maybe that's ok. Fold out solar panels would have taken care of the power limitations given in the story. And 500lbs of gold...wtf. He stole it from somebody's land. The first isn't believable and the second is wrong. I thought the ending was fairly satisfying, even though major strings were tied with a sentence or two at the end of the story. The novel elements like...ancestors talking to him was unexpected. As I was nearing the end I was getting scared because there was so much left to happen and so few pages left, so if that was your goal it was accomplished.

Anyway, I appreciate the story, it was not perfect but it was pretty good. Thanks for allowing anonymous comments. I hope you write more and are willing to share it for free here. If I wrote it, I'd be pretty proud of it.

It was OK...but...

Ended too soon! What happened afterward??? What was the fallout??? Why cut off the guys cock if he was going to torch them anyway???

Interesting

This author has a nack at the very end, to take a story off to an unpredictable conclusion that the reader didn’t anticipate. Sometimes it works and at other times it is a bit of a bomb.

Duh

She goes from a con man to a lawyer, not too much of a difference. Story sucked.

on

Basis was OK...but...

Both victims would have reported the flash bang that ended their fuck session and caused what happened! That would have caused extensive scrutiny by the cops!
Fun story but it didn't make sense!

Skipped about 3 pages of unnecessary wording, could have been condensed into 2 pages.

Fun story but time to brush up on defense mechanisms

Fun ride. Not “transference.” Displacement with a soupçon of projection

Interesting.

Unusual story and fun read.
Most of their thoughts and actions
were reasonable.
What wasn't was her fault.
Two faults actually.
Why didn't she tell her husband
why she didn't want to make love
to him, after her trip?
And who goes for coffee, when
your love just run out on you?
Just stupid.

Thanks for the story writer.
4 out of 5 from me.

Her inner mind

This is a world that of stuff no man could find reasons to try and understand. For that damn near any thing she said made sense to her. For him to understand her rationale for get it.

I liked this story

A very entertaining story of happy endings but,

Another nice one..

Wow.. I love it. Maybe you can put more emotions into it and some after play and humiliation.

Wonderful

This is one of the most beautifully written story. The depiction of way She manhandled him and proved Her superiority is awesome.

I was going yay, yay! Until...

...he murdered the computer geek. Holy shit, what an asshole. Now I wish his new wife finds out (perhaps he talks in his sleep?) and outs him some how. Not directly to the police, mind you, but perhaps has to get it off her chest and reveals the secret to her best friend. Or something like that.

And what about all those computer files he copied? What happened to those? All that trouble and we never find out what was on them. I doubt Susan emailed Henry. So it was ,probably, just her research work. But we’ll never know.

And I’d like to have heard about Susan’s reaction to receiving the shriveled penis.

But overall, and outstanding piece of work. Very interesting story line. Love the BTB. Perfect, until he murdered the geek. Though I’m still giving it a 5-stars.

The Hits Just Keep Coming

Yet another great chapter in this amazing story

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