All Comments on 'First Love, Lost Love.'

Brevity is the filet sole of wit. Take a bit and don't look back.

The rhythm has a delicate bouquet;

Make mine with Shakespeare on the side–Hurray!

;)

I like everything.

This is a question, Not a criticism. Is this an established form?

It has a meter, but I can't place the repetition scheme. I like formal poetry, and occasionally take a ham-fisted crack at it, but my background is free verse so I don't feign any expertise.

But the images are strong the words are gorgeous, and the rhythm never so much as wobbles.

Flawless.

My favorite line

"The moon sings to me of our only dance"

Yes. This is a late medieval French form you can find the rules several places online. The pattern is complex, and I won't explain it here, but you choose six words that are going to end every line, follow the pattern and end with a three line envoi. Notice the last word of every stanza is the first word ending the first line of the next.

I started with a word bank of about 12 words and wrote the ending first. After that I mapped out the pattern of what word had to end every line, then just kept refining until I got something I liked.

If you have studied any medieval music, it very much feels early polyphony to me. The musical structures hang together by using an established plainchant, but the polyphonic parts just kind of swirl around it. I can't explain it any better than that. But I felt like I got into that mindset, at least as much as I could with words. And then the words kept swirling around in a different order.

I purposefully broke the pentameter in the last line (11 syllables) and I agonized about whether I should, But it is hard to notice, and it mirrors my first line, and I just liked it better than leaving out a syllable. It felt more complete in thought and in rhythm.

I think it's my best poem.

Duh. Ignore my completely obtuse question in my earlier comment. I says its a sestina in the description, but somehow I missed it.

I even tried writing one once, although the effort less than successful.

Very well done!

thank you