All Comments on 'Happy Sacrifices'

Five.

You've done much better with the meter on this one and you have far less clichéd lines. You could try not starting each line with a capital letter just the start of each sentence.

And I'm the boy who fell to earth,

to see just how he liked it

and now we're lost and free again,

with both our hearts reminded

of days together holding hands

This shows promise. It needs a ruddy good edit and a cliche enema. The first stanza was excellent, the second not so good.