All Comments on 'he read my body'

I read every line and felt, passion displaced because he, couldn't, wouldn't ... count the ways, of times misplaced, plunge of loves true calling ~~ Your flow is spot on. Need a lil editing but otherwisw a very, very nice write of passion, not caught ~~ More Please !!

...I enjoyed this very much, at least as much as you previous submission today, but I find the ampersands distracting rather than enhancing. If I could know the reason for using them - because there must be a reason - I'd love to know. I know it is "nit picking" but why use the lower case I?

Tess