by keacreme
I'll go with Chris on this; you've a strong emotional undertow that pulls but the words just don't feel that strongly connected.
the bitter tone here, but this doesn't feel as well constructed as some of your other poems.
I felt the image of the obelisks to be a bit too vague and couldn't see the connection to the rest of the poem.
Strong and emotional words but i'd rather not say what I thought it was about, as I wouldn't want to offend if it is so personal.