- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Porcelain Altar: redux
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Click herestart:
load; x
x=x+1
REM ....DON'T FORGET TO FLUSH.....
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Porcelain Altar: redu "x"
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The Anon for the most part are kind.
The Invisible are fickle but fair,
but for the most part I find
the most critical Mind
is the one that sits in this chair.
..
save; x
REM .....PUT BOTH LIDS DOWN........
save; redu(x)
END:
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- COMMENTS
twelveooneover 11 years agoanon no mous
come on out
an show your puss
is that why you put the lid down, harry?
ok i had fun, 5
tazz317over 11 years agobeckons all that falter from the demom spirits, TK U MLJ LV NV
HarryHillover 11 years agoAuthorSaw flaws as soon as it dropped
this would have worked to avoid repetion
but actually I find
the most critical Mind
often sits in this chair.
...
Not in a crappy mood, explained concept to Desejo in an EM she may share it with you if you ask
.................. thanks all
buttersover 11 years agoenjoyed the opening and finish for their originality
this central piece reads as a limerick but, for me, would read even cleaner with either an extra syllable in its last line OR by removing one or two beforehand. for example:
The Anon for the most part are kind.
The Invisible are fickle but fair,
but for the most part I find
the most critical Mind
is the one that sits here in this chair.
OR
The Anon for the most part are kind,
the Invisible fickle but fair;
for the most part I find
the most critical mind
is the one sitting here in this chair/is the one that sits here in this chair.
.......................
edit. x
Now go wash your hands
just my thoughts, HH. don't get in a crappy mood, k? :p
Desejoover 11 years agoWell.... I am well and thoroughly confused. Is the poet writing computer code in the can?! And..two lids down? Must be a female about...
